Running Point

Is it offensive if I say I feel like a Korean princess?

Yes, people would be offended.

It is so nice of you to do this for your husband and your in-laws.

I kind of had to. They're still mad that Gene didn't marry a Korean,

but at least I'm not white. No offense.

And, seriously, thank you so much for doing Milton's Doljanchi.

And thanks for hosting it at the facility.

My in-laws love basketball and wealth.

Look, I know it's not as glamorous as you're used to,

but there will be a signature cocktail, the Miltini.

As his godmother, it is my honor.

Now, what is it?

The Doljanchi is a rite of passage on a Korean baby's first birthday.

I mean, you would've been to Michael's, but you and Lev were at Coachella.

Okay, it was to see Kanye.

I mean, before… Obviously.

Look, I know you have that owners' conference,

but if you don't show up, Gene's sister gets to hold Milton,

and I can't stand her.

You know, she drives an Audi and also wears Audi clothes.

It's her whole personality.

Hey, I know you hate Grace.

-I will be there. -Thank you.

So, owners' conference is tomorrow. How are you feeling?

Oh, I mean, can't wait. I mean, Dad was a legend at these things.

It's where he did some of his biggest deals and rigged the '88 draft.

I'm not talking about that. I'm talking about the Hoopli deal.

Hoopli is a new streaming app for exclusive content

from the four biggest markets in the league.

I'm talking LA, New York, Chicago, and San Francisco.

These four teams drive the majority of basketball viewership.

Our ratings are more than the rest of the league combined,

but that's never been reflected in the ad revenue we see.

Until now.

Hoopli will televise our games exclusively,

and the Big Four gets to keep the profits.

It's gonna make us a shit ton of money,

which would be nice because it has been an expensive year.

Those Dutch tourists that Cam ran over are shopping their life rights.

You'll meet with the New York, Chicago and San Francisco owners

and sign the deal.

-They want to announce it tomorrow. -How do the smaller teams feel about this?

Oh, they don't know about it yet.

Oh, is that cool?

Well, uh, don't worry about them.

It's their fault for being from, like, Rhode Island, or whatever.

Do you need me to join you?

Did you join Cam or Dad?

No, but that's because they liked doing drugs and prostitutes.

Well, I can go to meetings and sign papers.

I'm just like them, except I won't do either of those things.

Might have a Xani on the plane.

It's a 45-minute flight to Phoenix.

Ness!

-What the hell? -Oh my God. What time is it?

You just missed a huge meeting.

Did you sleep here? And why are your underwear so small?

They're European cut.

Can you tell me what's going on before I throw up?

Bituin kicked me out.

Did she leave you for her trainer? I get that. I get it.

What? No. I'm as hot as Reginald. We're both nines.

Okay, you have to put some pants on.

-Right. -So, what happened?

I don't know. We were out at dinner,

and she started pitching me one of her businesses.

"Thongs for Moms."

She said it's an underserved market,

but I've financed so many of her ideas, and none of them make money.

Anyway, I step away to take a call,

and then I come back to the table, and the busboy says,

"Your wife has left, and you're no longer welcome at home."

So I'm gonna have to crash with you.

No. No, you don't have to crash with me.

You have to crash at The Peninsula

like every other rich guy with marital problems.

Sandy, I should not be alone right now, okay?

I could just picture myself on some hotel balcony,

wondering what it's like if a 210-pound man comes crashing down

on the roof of a Maserati. That'd be on you.

That is so manipulative.

Hmm.

Fine. You can stay in my guest room.

Oh yes!

Thank you. I need this.

What you need is some mouthwash.

Oh my God.

Hey, I was just thinking about you.

You know, I can't wait to jump back into The Crown tonight.

Hey, did I tell you I heard the corgis kept biting Dominic West on set?

It was all over DeuxMoi.

About that, um…

I have to cancel.

I have COVID.

Oh my God. Uh, okay, well then I'm coming over to take care of you.

No, no.

Uh, there's a really bad strain going around.

Um, I hear even Joe Rogan's masking up.

Are you sure?

Yeah, yeah, don't come over.

I love you. I'm gonna call you as soon as I'm feeling better, okay?

Well, we did it, boys.

- Yeah. - Dom, Henny, potatoes lyonnaise.

Hey, you know what, y'all?

Since I'm feeling generous, this one's on me.

Thanks, Trav.

Psyche!

Let's see. Whose turn is it?

Tradition is, rookie has to pay.

- Okay. - Thompson?

No, no, you had the last one.

Wait a minute.

Victor, you haven't gone yet.

Dinner's on you, rookie.

Ooh!

Twenty-five stacks? Damn.

Twenty-five thousand dollars?

Thank God for first-round signing bonuses, right?

Oh wait, you ain't get one of those.

Hey, you're next, D-League. Ooh!

-Hi, uh, is Ms. Gordon around? -Nope, she's in Phoenix for a conference.

Oh, okay.

-Uh, could I have her cell or something? -Not giving you that. What do you need?

Could you maybe tell me ballpark how much I make?

Uh, yeah, sure.

Let's see… For a rookie call-up non-guaranteed deal…

Uh, $55,000.

Damn, my kid's preschool's more than that.

Oh, could I get an advance?

Like, maybe all of it in one lump sum?

By dinner, if possible?

I'm sorry, Dyson, but we're not Wells Fargo.

No, they were much ruder to me when I called them.

What about a loan?

We used to do that with players, but it's a slippery slope.

It starts off with a mortgage payment, then we're paying for your mistress' BBL.

Sorry. Is everything okay?

Not really.

The owners' conference, baby.

Time to step up, sign that deal,

and announce to the world that Isla Gordon has arrived.

Nothing can stop me from…

…shrimp tail.

Shrimp tail. That was a shrimp tail.

Did you just eat garbage?

I did that my first time here too.

Malkeet Dasari, San Francisco owner.

Made billions in tech.

He said he will eliminate homelessness by 2030.

Not sure how that's possible, but he's got an incredible head of hair.

Isla Gordon, you make a hell of an entrance.

Malkeet, so nice to finally meet you.

I love what you're doing in San Francisco.

I-- I hate the homeless…

problem, you know?

-Ugh, it sucks. -Mmm.

I know, and I was pleased to hear that you got your start in charities.

You know, when I made my fifth billion,

a man told me it's not about how much money you have,

it's about who you help.

It was Bono.

Who let that Gordon kid in here?

I'm just joking.

Irv Plotkin from Chicago.

Made his fortune in deli meats. Good friend of my dad's.

He had a heart attack at my Sweet 16.

-Isla Gordon. -Aw!

-Really good to see you. -You too, sweetie.

The last time I saw you, I had my old heart.

-Yeah, this one belonged to a pig. -Oh.

And get this, since the operation, I can't eat pork.

I mean, I still eat ribs.

-Oh, you gotta eat ribs. -Yeah, yeah.

Oh, and I was so sad to hear about Cam.

-Yeah. -All my boys have been through rehab.

Two for booze, one for an addiction to anime porn.

Whatever the hell that is.

Irv, no one wants to hear about your wacko son.

Ugh! Frank Shaughnessy.

Even for a New York City slumlord, he's a real piece of shit.

But I can put that aside. This is business.

-Isla, how are you, honey? -Hi.

Hey, Frank.

Ooh, it's not very awake of me to say, but you are one tight package.

And you're not young, neither.

-Thank you. -Hey, Malkeet. How are you?

Take that as a compliment, I guess?

All right, so now that we're through jerking each other off,

can we talk Hoopli?

Hmm? Because I want this press release out tonight

so I can bend Irv over on the golf course in the morning.

- Unless I bend you over first. And I will! - Oh!

So good!

Assault!

Yes, um, I need a significant credit line increase.

- Uh, from $1,000 to $50,000? - Yeah, we can do that.

-What are the terms? -A 37% interest rate.

37% interest? That seems really high.

-No, it's not high. -Oh, it's not?

Hey, yo. Remember, we're going to dinner at Mastro's tonight on Dyson.