Dag

Dag?

Dag, I know you're awake. I heard you getting dressed.

- Sorry. - For what?

For not being able to sneak out while I slept?

No, I was just feeling guilty.

Do you need anything? Can I help?

Like what?

Dag, you're trying to sneak out, the morning after we've had sex.

I'm not mad. I'm just done with that part of my life.

I guess I feel a little left out here.

With the two of you...

In the way...

But seriously, is there anything I can do before I go to work?

No, just leave.

- Sure? - Perfectly. Just go.

Bye.

Hi, Mia.

What the fuck are you doing?

It's silly and pointless but still human to be jealous of the little sunbeam you've been once.

This hardly seems all that difficult.

You can have it delivered to your door.

The guy before you went downstairs for the exercise.

- Do I look like I need exercise? - No. Euthanasia, perhaps.

- I can still hear, you know. - Right. Duly noted...

Yes.

Out, out! Get the hell out!

- You have to understand... - Understand what?

That you're fucking my cousin or fucking my other cousin, -

- who is paraplegic? - I know you're angry, but please listen.

What the fuck is there to hear?

Do you think you can say anything to make this better?

Not at all. I get that this is over. Finito.

- I get that. I might as well... - Don't try it.

You've taken everything from me.

My pride. Everything.

If someone's ending this, it's not going to be you.

- OK, so it's not over? - Oh, yes.

I'm breaking up.

If I ever see you again, I will kill you.

Mia, wait. Look.

Here.

If that's a Hallmark card or cash, I'll kill you now.

Easy. It's just a couple of gift cards.

- Gift cards? - Gift cards for a trip.

I was going to take you on a romantic trip, -

- but now it's better if you take them, and I move out.

Then you and the boy can get a breather. Get some distance. OK?

You've got two hours, Benedikt.

In two hours, I'll be back. By then, you're gone.

The only trace of you will be the scent of Pine-sol -

- and 3 month of child support in advance.

- Is that understood? - OK.

No worries. Have a good trip!

Or, I'll call you?

Mia, my baby!

Fuck!

No, stop it.

Come on.

I am... three things?

Five thing you're good at. Come on. It can't be that hard.

This is embarrassing.

I'm the only one here.

Why should I brag about myself?

Nobody asked you to brag. Five things you're good at.

Frying bacon.

- Give me a break. - I am.

We're talking about emotions, not dead pigs.

I want five good qualities in you as a human being.

How long have we been there? Twenty minutes?

All you've come up with is that you're good at frying bacon.

If I'd asked you to list character flaws, -

- we'd be sitting here until morning.

- Yes, but I don't want to. - But whining is fine.

Hour after hour. Whine, whine, whine.

Isn't that why I'm here? To ease the pressure?

I thought you were here to get well.

The cemetery is full of self-pitying people.

They don't rest any easier.

I'm a good listener, a good friend.

This bullshit is for menopausal winos in drum circles.

Are you?

What?

- A good listener? A good friend? - Those were examples.

I don't give a shit. I asked you some questions.

Are you a good listener? Are you a good friend?

Since you ask, then maybe.

Then say it.

- I already did. - No, say it.

I am...

Good listener.

- The whole thing. - I'm a good listener.

And the other one. Come on.

- I'm a good friend. - Louder.

I'm a good friend!

- Difficult? - Yes, quite.

- Embarrassing? - Terribly.

- A little drink would help? - Definitely.

You can't. Time's up, Dag. See you tomorrow.

I have to try and get to work.

I'm not someone who sleeps with someone and tries to sneak out.

Time's up. I can't hear you.

- Glenn Are Eilertsen? - Down the hall.

- Hi, daddy. - It's about time.

I was just about to shit myself.

You brought your brat to work? Put that down and help me on the can.

Fucking hell. It went back up again.

My damned prostate works like a cork back there.

If I wait long enough I can just spit it all out.

Daddy, this is Leon. Leon, this is grandpa.

- Can you put on some Bjøro? - Daddy, you're a grandfather.

Can you get your fat ass moving and put on some Bjøro?

You have to turn the damn thing on. Can't hear a damn thing -

- if it's turned down. I thought I was going deaf!

So, when's dinner?

I'm your daughter.

Do you think I'm 15?

There it is.

Daddy, you're a grandfather.

Are you nuts? I don't remember him.

My mom, on the other hand. Great woman.

She was so happy when I brought Elin home.

Elin was a great woman. A bit dense, but a lovely piece.

- Please. - Not an ounce on evil in her.

- She was an angel. - So why did you leave?

I was 6, and you just left. You don't do that to your daughter.

- Huh? - You don't do that to your daughter!

I had one of those.

Is that a girl?

My daughter really loves to draw.

You should see the stuff she made.

Just crap, but she thinks it's great, and then I do too.

Have a look.

Look. She'd just got a puppy.

That supposed to be that thing. And that's me.

That thing is the sun. Black.

I'm just wondering what the fuck...

What do you think, huh?

Here you stand.

"Maria", it says.

- Yes, it's me. - Right.

With a man this time. Or men.

- Yes, they're mine. - Both of them?