American Vandal

Oh.

Hi.

- You're Peter Maldonado? - Yeah.

The one who's making this American Vandal thing?

Yeah, yeah, it's a documentary.

- Thank you so much for taking the time... - Yeah, so, we've had, um,

hundreds of phone calls, all hours of the night,

about some Kiefer Sutherland message on my father's answering machine?

That's why I'm here. Any way I could get the tape?

- I would be really grateful. - The tape? Oh, I... This one?

- Yes. Yes. - Tape?

- Thank you so mu... - This tape...

This tape is now trash.

So, you can tell everyone to stop calling, because it's harassment.

The theory that Dylan did the dicks to win back Mackenzie

makes sense.

Out of anyone with access to the security footage,

Dylan still seems the most likely.

So, more than ever, he needed good news.

That's why watching Mrs. Janson destroy the Kiefer Sutherland voicemail

was such a punch to the gut.

If we'd heard Dylan on that voicemail, it would've given him a solid alibi.

Mrs. Janson destroyed the tape because she claims she felt harassed.

And I can't help but feel responsible for that.

I started posting the documentary a few weeks ago.

And almost immediately, people started getting involved.

It comes down to this.

If I hadn't uploaded the doc, then that tape would still exist.

But it's lost forever, because American Vandal has gone viral.

- Dylan, I got some news. - What's up?

I went to Mr. Janson's house...

and, um, his daughter answered the door...

and she destroyed the voicemail.

Fuck, dude.

Fuck.

It's okay, man.

You have a lot of people believing in you now.

You should see the school. It's crazy.

It's either Dylan or Kiefer Sutherland.

Kiefer Sutherland's, like, a super-rich actor.

You know, why would he be prank-calling some old guy?

Okay, medium.

There you go. Have a good one.

The documentary is killing it right now.

What, you have hundreds of thousands of views or something?

This isn't about dicks.

This is a commentary on the justice system and how it's failed everyone.

When you were making it, I thought it was gonna be like...

You were just gonna show it to kids in the school.

Between me and you, I didn't know it'd go viral.

We lost Pizza Hut, and Jack in the Box.

I'm the off-campus lunch guy, is what they call me.

It's really cool. People buy my lunch.

Our YouTube channel? Skyrocketing right now, man.

We had 260 subscribers. Now it's, like, pushing 700.

Kind of wish I hadn't, heh, said some of the stuff that I said.

You know, I'm not gonna say one of my students is unbelievably hot...

But, oh, my God, dude.

Man, that's like... I really wish I hadn't said a lot of that stuff.

I have to admit, it's a lot for me to process.

No one ever listened to me when I hosted the Morning Show,

but everyone is listening now.

Pete. People love American Vandal, dude.

- I know, man. It's crazy. - Hi.

Honestly, I think Sam's being soft.

You say soft. I think Peter went a little too far.

If I were Sam, I'd have reacted the same way. You're his best friend.

I think... I don't think that it is that farfetched that...

I mean, Sam, he did have motive. He did have access.

I just don't... I don't...

You're fine if I tell the school you're in love with Ashley Hanson,

you're fine with that? Cool, thanks. Or how about I tell everyone

that you jerk off to American Apparel catalogs, huh?

How does that feel, Peter? Does that feel nice?

Yo, this kid jerks off to the American Apparel catalog.

No, it doesn't feel nice.

But some of the show's popularity is pretty cool, I'm not gonna lie.

Hey, Peter, do you think I could do an interview, too?

Everyone wants to be involved,

with interviews, new information, new theories. Some of it's helpful.

- What are you filming? - Yeah, where's Sam?

- Most of it isn't. - Peter.

Peter, Baxter did it.

Free Dylan is now a movement.

Even though he's not allowed at school to see it,

Dylan is feeling the love back at home, as well.

"Our boy Dylan, you are the motherfucking man."

Stay strong, bro.

"Your biggest fan."

I think there was, like, some Facebook group with my address in it.

People have just been sending me all these letters and shit,

of, like, pictures of dicks.

And there's, like, a bunch of vaginas, too.

Look at that shit.

Look how skinny this vagina is.

This one's, like...

sad vag?

This one's more of, like, a shocked vagina.

A lot of them have hair, you know, in honor of my drawings.

The ladies just kind of love me, I guess.

I got a bunch of e-mails myself.

Oh, vaginas?

No, no, no, I just got a bunch of fan theories.

Hashtag "who drew the dicks" is trending on Twitter.

- Really? - Yeah. Uh, hashtag "Sara Pearson did it,"

hashtag "the janitor did it," which I didn't even think about.

Dick deniers?

Yo, these people are saying there was never any dicks

and it was just Photoshop.

You think about that?

Well, I mean... people were there, they saw the dicks, so...

I mean, I didn't see them.

- Did you see them? - It was on the news.

Over the past two weeks,

I've received dozens of theories about who drew the dicks.

I'm not gonna bore you with all of them, but here are few high-trending theories.

The most popular theory by far is that Alex Trimboli drew the dicks.

People have actually been mean about it.

"It's obvious Trimboli drew the dicks.

Why aren't you looking into Trimboli?"

How come no one's looking into that? Ever heard of "whoever smelt it dealt it"?

Well, here's why.

The security footage in the parking lot was deleted between two and 2:30.

But the security cameras inside were running the whole time.

We see Alex here at 2:13, getting books from his locker.

Then here at 2:15, running to alert the teachers.

So, unless Trimboli has some sort of superhuman speed,

we can rule this one out.

Next we have Mr. Baxter.

The teacher in charge of the Morning Show

should be considered a suspect. It makes sense.

Mr. Baxter does have access to the security footage,

and a potential motive to lash out against the school.

It's rumored he's being pushed into early retirement.

Mr. Baxter, where were you on March 15th,

specifically between two and 2:30?

Okay, okay. I was running the slide show during the faculty meeting.

This is a solid alibi.

And even if he is lying,

I just don't think Mr. Baxter could've done it.

Could he have deleted the security footage? Yes.

But could he have drawn 27 dicks in 8.1 minutes?

No. He's too fat.

Another trending theory is that the janitor did it.

He did mysteriously discover the spray paint can

at the scene of the crime, but most people are focusing on the fact

that he looks creepy AF.

Yeah, that dude's sketchy.

Not just like janitor sketchy, but like murder sketchy.

Yeah, he's fucking weird, man. Have you seen him?

Yeah, he... You guys gotta look into that guy.

That guy might've... pulled some shit.

Do you remember where you were on March 15th?

I know I was nowhere near those cars.

I was dealing with a... clog in the shower.

And a nasty one, too.

Like, so much hair.

Vice Principal Keene backed up his alibi.

And a quick trip to the boys' locker room revealed tangible evidence.

Here's an even crazier one.

Sara Pearson.

Her motive varies, depending on who you ask.

Some say she snapped after getting asked to Spring Fling by too many freshmen.

Others claim that she was angry about the school's new wardrobe policy,

which banned crop tops.

But motives aside,

most people agree that her hairless dick-drawing style

was based on the penis of her ex-boyfriend,

swim team captain Scott Winter.

So, to put this one to rest,

I went straight to the source, Scott's penis.

I just wanna know if you, like, you know... If you... If you're, like, clean... If you...

Oh!

Is that what you wanna see?

I can confirm that he matched the parking lot dicks.

And while I can't entirely dismiss this strange theory,

I think I may have figured out who's clogging the showers.

Not to mention, Sara's alibi is rock-solid.

She was down in San Diego with her family, so, I'm not buying this fan theory.

And that goes for most of these.

They're outlandish.

There may be some truth to them.

Like Mr. Baxter did have access to the security footage.

The janitor does look pretty creepy.

Scott Winter shaves his pubes.

But there's one fan theory that stands out from the rest.

One that doesn't involve Mr. Kraz, or the ghost of Joey Themelis.

The theory is that Dylan didn't act alone.

The Wayback Boys helped Dylan plan the prank

at the kegger at Rachel Balducci's grandmother's house,

known commonly as Nana's party.

Multiple people said they heard it.

And I have to admit,

when this one started popping up, my heart dropped, because it makes sense.

Dylan was going off about the dicks with the Wayback Boys at Nana's party.

I, for sure, heard the word "dick" at least more than once,

and it seemed really strange that a bunch of dudes

were just talking about dicks that intensely.

Now looking back on it, it's pretty clear, they were planning the vandalism.

Tank Top Todd can back me up.