Scrubs

The second we got to the Abacos for the janitor's wedding,

Dr. Kelso, well...

He set up shop at the bar.

That's the best Bahama Mama I've ever had.

I'll be the judge of that. Hi, Bob Kelso. Excuse me.

Mercy.

If you would be so kind as to store this for me,

we could get this party started.

One Bahama Mama, please.

You can have this back when mine comes.

Things weren't going that well for the rest of us.

Jordan wasn't happy with Dr. Cox for pretending he had work to do.

Elliot was mad at me for never saying "I love you" in a romantic enough way.

And Carla was so busy being a mom...

# Hush, little baby, don't say a word

# Mama's gonna buy you

- # a mockingbird. - She left Turk alone at sea.

Hey, what's up?

Ma'am!

Lady?

What's up, Blaquaman?

- I think I just saw a mermaid. - Maybe you just spooked it.

Oh, cute looking eel.

- No, I'm naked. - Alright, that's you.

I was supposed to meet Carla out here for a little "surf and Turk".

Took off my swim trunks.

These bad boys just floated away.

Elliot's mad at me because I didn't say "I love you" right.

You know what? That eel is looking at me funny,

- I'm gonna switch over here. - Yeah, he's got a mind of his own.

Plus, I needed to say how much I loved her.

And I needed to be looking right into her eyes.

Well, what's the difference? Look at me and say it.

I love you.

That's about right.

And you're naked. Perfect.

Either one of you two idiots seen my computer?

Maybe the mermaid took it.

He's not great in the heat.

I did see a mermaid.

Plus, the janitor wanted to kill me for forcing him to have a wedding ceremony.

If I'm gonna have a ceremony, I just need a little help.

Go sunscreen up again and call an emergency meeting of the Brain Trust.

Island style. Where's Todd?

Last time I saw him, he was stuffing seaweed into his bathing suit.

Sure. Where's Doug?

Oh, no! I forgot to give him his invite.

He's getting married and he didn't invite any of us?

Oh come on!

And carrying around your invitation is just stupid!

You look stupid!

Book Doug into the next "Dealing with rejection" seminar in my garage.

80 bucks.

80 bucks! Can I take that class?

No room for you, Ted.

Oh, man!

That's not dealing with rejection.

I can work wonders with you, my friend.

- One hundred bucks. - Hundred bucks!

Sweet!

Season 8 Episode 15 My Soul On Fire: Part 2

Salad tastes like sunscreen.

That's because you put sunscreen on it.

Oh, man! I put Ranch on my face.

Alright.

Welcome to the 2nd international meeting of the Brain Trust.

I'll begin this as I began the meeting six years ago in Guatemala.

I'm getting married tomorrow. And I need help.

Ted, you're in charge of location and music.

Todd, you are in charge of locating a Justice of the Peace...

and finding a sea turtle to serve as a ring bearer.

- Any questions? - Yeah.

Who is this dude?

That is Ira.

As per our bylaws, the Brain Trust must always have a fourth.

Plus he can speak to dolphins. Or so he says.

Drink.

Drink.

- The man's a born leader. - Drink!

- You know what? Let's... - Drink, damn it!

Time to smooth things over with Elliot.

Seagull!

Hey, baby!

Check out this awesome place Turk and I found this morning.

It's called Tahiti Beach and it's out like right in the middle of the ocean.

We got a kid to videotape us, but it was good you weren't there,

because he has red hair, I know how that nauseates you.

That's us doing some muscle poses.

Look how firm Turk looks.

Anyway, that's when we realized the kid was trying to steal the camera.

Dude.

My wife gave me that camera!

His mistake was running backwards with the camera on us.

Are you out of your mind?

Unfortunately, the smoothing over didn't work.

So we're not gonna talk about yesterday?

For anyone.

So we are not gonna talk about yesterday?

So we're not gonna talk about yesterday?

There's nothing really to talk about, sweetie.

You were a little crazy before, now it's over.

What is so crazy about wanting to hear "I love you"

in a meaningful and romantic way?

Oh, good. It's not over.

So you just wasted a whole vacation day pretending to work just to mess with me?

I recall you saying that you were happy I couldn't spend time with you.

You knew I wasn't serious.

That's how we interact. That's our thing.

You know what? I'm sick of pretending we don't like each other,

It is distinctly not fun anymore. Would you like to know why? Because A,

We are over 12. And B...

We actually do like each other. In fact, brace yourself...

We love each other.

I can't believe you left me out there yesterday.

I was in the ocean for so long I had jellyfish stings on my ding-a-ling

I had to make sure Izzy fell asleep.

Why do you have to be a mommy all the time?

I still make sure you get sex at least once a week.

Yeah, but you always start with "This has to be quickie".

Why do you always say that?

Baby, we both know my "longies" aren't that long.

I gotta be honest with you, sometimes it makes me feel like you don't love me.

On behalf of all women, I just want to thank you for equating sex with love.

We think it's awesome when you do that.

You're welcome.

No, I know he's upset. But just put him on the phone, okay, Carol?

Hey, buddy.

I guess you're pretty bummed about the wedding mix-up, huh?

No, man. I got a lot going on here.

So what's it like there? Is it awesome?

It's pretty awesome.

Yeah, I thought it would be.

You know what, pal?

I'm gonna stay on this phone with you... I gotta go.

Carol, close me up.

So, I found you a Justice of the Peace.

Say hello to Van.

- Van? - Van. Stretch it out.

I drive one of you.

You're right not to laugh. That was stupid.

Thanks.

- Where d'you find this idiot? - Man got me through med school.

He's the dude we used to practice all the rectal exams on.

We did a couple of them right here in this very bar.

Right there.

With you.

I find that both fascinating and disgusting.

You already know I love you.

I shouldn't have to make some crazy gesture. I'm not a big fan of those.

You went online for three hours and spent a fortune getting a tiki for Turk.

Elliot, I don't really think $456

for an actual faux marble imitation tiki is a fortune.

- Was that total or each? - That's irrelevant.

Weren't you the one who said we are past this dumb relationship drama?

And I meant it. Then.

- But you don't now? - I'm a girl. That's how it works.

And guess what. All relationships have drama.

When a woman says there doesn't have to be any drama,

it's because she's so excited there's no drama at that particular moment

she can't wait to share that feeling with you before there's any new drama!

I want you to be comforted by the fact that doesn't sound ridiculous at all.

We're at a wedding! Why can't you not get to a romantic place?

It's not a real wedding!

It's a crazy cleaning person's scam for presents.

Then by all means, continue being an ass.

And do you want to know why I'm a mommy all the time ?

Please.

It's because I am a mommy.

All the time.

I have a baby at home. I have one in here.

And I have another one!

Who expects me to work, raise his kids,

buy his clothes, make his food, run his life

and still have all the energy in the world left to sex him up every night.

Even though his longies are actually pretty damn long.