Euphoria

I'm very happy for you, Rue.

You're about to start a brand-new chapter.

You think 'cause I went to rehab I stayed clean?

Some new girl I think you're gonna be friends with.

- I'm Rue. - Jules.

Hi.

You're fucking crazy.

I'm just trying to get back at my ex-boyfriend.

You can stay in a town like this,

end up like me,

living your life out in motel rooms.

Why don't you take your top off?

I know what you want.

This bitch is gonna get fucked up!

You wanna fucking hurt me?

Where you headed to?

Home.

And then... things got weird.

Sometimes, when I get really high,

I kind of think I'm psychic.

When Nate Jacobs was 11 years old,

he found his dad's porn collection.

His dad, Cal, was obsessive.

His mom always said that's who he got it from.

Then he quickly realized that the colored cases

and placement were no accident.

It was an elaborate code,

one to ensure that no one fucked with his shit.

I have a very pretty dick. Do you want to see it?

What do you like to be called? Mister?

Master?

Daddy?

For you? You can call me "Daddy."

Open wider.

Wider.

More like that.

- Yeah! - Good?

Yes, Daddy. I'll be good.

Every video was basically the same.

Oh, you are all woman, aren't you?

- Mostly. - Mostly.

They'd drink, make small talk...

Oh, don't make me come.

I... I want to wait for that.

...and then his dad would fuck the shit out of some...

Fucking whore. Fucking slut.

I want to talk to you.

You're a strong man, Nathaniel.

I knew it from the moment you were born.

You have an... iron will,

drive, determination.

I've always admired that in you.

Because some day, it will lead you to greatness.

But no one in this world will ever root for you.

They'll see what I see and they'll despise you for it.

Sometimes you'll know, and sometimes you won't.

But the farther you go, the sharper their blade.

Just don't ever give them an opening.

By 12, he had adopted a rigid diet and workout schedule.

Within a year, his body fat dropped from 23% to 6%.

Ready? All right!

He joined the football team as a freshman

and quickly excelled.

Red, 32, hut!

By the year's end,

he was not only the starting quarterback,

but the team captain.

Keep it together, Nate. Stay focused.

All right, let's fucking go!

He loved the crowds,

the pats on the back, the cheers, the feeling of winning.

But he hated being in the locker room.

He hated how casual his teammates were about being naked...

Woo!

...how they'd talk to him with their dicks hanging out.

He made a concerted effort

to always maintain eye contact during these exchanges.

Every now and then, he'd forget,

and accidentally catch a glimpse of someone's penis.

His older brother Aaron was a fuck-up.

He could tell his dad didn't like Aaron,

didn't think he had guts or brains

or half a fucking clue.

And Nate agreed.

He didn't talk to his dad that much,

but they didn't need to.

They had a good relationship.

He didn't like his mother either.

She was weak, and a pushover.

Plus, she didn't take care of herself.

He made a long mental checklist

of the things he liked and disliked about women.

He liked tennis skirts and jean cut-offs,

but not the kind so short you could see the pockets.

He liked ballet flats and heels.

He hated sneakers and dress shoes.

What was fine with sandals,

as long as they were worn with a fresh pedicure.

He liked thigh gaps, hated cankles.

He liked tan lines, long necks, slender shoulders.

He liked good posture and fruit-scented body mist.

He liked full lips, and small noses.

He liked chokers, but the lacy ones

with flower cutouts or delicate patterns.

He hated girls who sat like boys,

talked like boys, acted like boys.

But there was nothing on planet Earth he hated more

than body hair.

That's one of the first things he noticed about Maddy.

She was basically hairless.

He'd walk her home from school every day.

It made him feel good to know that he was there to protect her.

He knew the world was full of men who wanted to hurt Maddy.

Men who would hang out the windows of their cars

and scream obscenities at her.

College guys who wouldn't think twice about drugging her.

Lonely guys who'd spot her at a mall.

Men who'd rape her, torture her, sell her into sexual slavery.

He didn't even like to think about it.

He did, however,

like to think about the things he'd do to protect her.

If anyone ever tried to hurt you, I'd kill them.

You're, like, the sweetest guy ever.

He also liked that Maddy was a virgin,

that no guy had ever put his penis in her.

You're a virgin?

Yeah.

- Like, fully? - Yeah.

What about like...

- Have you ever been fingered? - Only my own.

He sometimes imagined marrying Maddy and starting a family.

He knew he didn't want boys, though.

But he also didn't like the idea of having girls.

Plus, Maddy could be a real bitch.

Like that night at McKay's party,

something just flipped.

And he knew he had anger issues,

but, I mean, so did every guy.

It's not like there was anything in his life

he could trace it back to.

It was just... who he was,

and who he'd always be.

What are you doing?

Nothing, I just came to... came to say goodnight.

Good night.

Good night.

It was the first day of school,

and my heart was racing.

I had made a new best friend,

and for the first time since getting out of rehab,

I was feeling good about the world.

_

I've got an idea.

What?

Wanna get high?

What is it?

No idea.

Didn't you just get out of rehab?

Yeah.

Should I be concerned?

Maybe.

I feel like this isn't a good idea.

I kinda disagree.

Rue.

Do you feel anything?

Uh-uh.

Do you feel anything?

No.

Rue, what's wrong?

Just so happy.

Whoa.

Whoa.

I know you're not allowed to say it...

...but drugs are kind of cool.

Whoa.

I mean, they're cool before they wreck your skin...

...and your life...

Can you grab me a towel?

...and your family.

Gia, I need you to grab me a towel.

- What have you got? - I found her down.

I gave her one dose of Narcan...

That's when they get uncool.

It's actually a very narrow window of cool.

I'll wait with you until your mother comes home.

You want to watch some TV?

And once you pass through that window of cool...

This is embarrassing.