Wild Boys

All right.

Who's ready to play pirates?

Yes, yes, yes.

I'll be Blackbeard. - No no, I'm Blackbeard.

No, I'm Blackbeard.

Don't you dare tell me what I am and what you're not.

You're not the boss of me.

I'm always the boss. - No, you’re a stupid boss.

You’re a stupid boss who isn’t Blackbeard.

Because you can't be Blackbeard.

I'm a better pirate than you.

No, no, no.

You stupid idiot. I’m blackbeard, get off me.

Ouch! - That’s right.

That's right. Who wins?

Who's Blackbeard?

Say it! Say it! - Me.

Kate! I’m heading out. - Remember my shake.

Why don't you leave the house for a change and get one yourself?

I'm busy.

Thanks, Dad. - I'll be back by four.

Bye. - Bye.

Congratulations.

You are now officially an Online Certified Ninja.

Your certification will arrive in 7-10 business days.

Okay.

This is it.

Hey, Dad.

You're late.

You're supposed to call me when you’re late. So call me.

And remember my shake.

If this is another prank to get me out of the house.

It's not funny, Dad.

It's actually super lame.

Forget about the shake.

Just come home, please.

Okay.

And declaring it, I'm officially worried.

Just call me back.

Where?

Hi, sweetie.

Hi, what’s up Maggie?

It's your father.

Come on.

Hey, I thought you handled that really well.

You want a cup of coffee?

You know, you’re really not as weird as everybody says?

Can you please have my house to myself?

Technically, it's still your dad's house.

He left it to me.

So technically, it's my house.

Oh, shoot.

Sorry.

I meant to give you this a few days ago.

It just didn't seem appropriate.

I think it's an audio CD.

What's it say?

How would I know?

Because you listened to it, which I'm 100% sure you did.

Because you always have to know everything.

I think you just need to play it.

This is the will of Frank Collins.

If I'm not dead yet, skip to track two.

I had Dan put some classics from the Boss on here as well.

He gets the booze, by the way.

That's part of the deal.

Kate, I know I've given you a hard time about,

you know, not leaving the house and all,

but I want you to know that you made me the proudest dad in the world.

If it was up to me,

I would get you your shakes until the end of time.

But it's not, so...

You got to get your own shakes from now on, so to speak.

What I'm trying to say is I'm not leaving you anything.

Not the car, not the house.

Nothing.

Oh, wait.

Hold on. Wait, wait, wait.

Oh. Unless you agree

to go on one final adventure with me.

Just like we used to. When you were little.

I can promise you treasure maps, secret codes, and amazing experiences.

All it takes is for you to get out there and see the world.

You have a week from my passing to find the treasure.

Once you do, everything that was mine becomes yours.

And I think you'll really like the treasure, too.

It's something I've never told a soul about.

And I'm trusting you to take good care of it.

You can do this.

Good luck. - Seriously. A week?

Well, four days now.

Is this even legal? - It's airtight.

Your dad made sure of it.

The bank is authorized to seize the property when the seven days are up.

No, Maggie, you can't just throw me out because my dad made a stupid CD.

I'm not the one throwing you out.

It's his will.

It'll be easy peasy, lemon squeezy.

Come on.

It'll be fun.

I heard you're an online certified ninja.

My certification hasn't even come in the mail yet.

Is this 100% for sure? - Yep.

There's nothing else I can do about it? - No.

I was planning on playing video games today.

Okay,

Let's see what he had in mind.

That's a lot of green.

Do you know what that means?

Nature.

Mother frickin’ nature. I don't hike.

You do now.

Are you going hiking?

What the hell are you doing here?

Finest selection of crossword puzzles in town.

It helps him with his bowel movements.

I mean, what the hell are you doing in Frank's house?

I'm collecting my inheritance.

Dan, you helped my dad make the CD, right?

Did he say anything to you about a treasure or a scavenger hunt?

Yeah.

I used to be a disc jockey back in the eighties.

You, have a good morning.

Life’s great mysteries... - Bye Dan.

May the beacon guide you.

Basic clue, Dad.

There better not be bugs.

Son of a bitch

whipped his head around

almost stuck me up the ass with the horn!

Kate, so you're really doing it?

Damn it! - You owe me ten bucks.

I knew you'd come through for me.

You're welcome.

You know, your dad, he loved these beans.

He’d buy a couple of cans of these to go on his hikes for the last 15 years.

You're not hiking, are you?

Maybe.

How much?

It's on the house. - Yeah.

Is this enough? - It's free.

Oh, yeah, I knew that.

I go to stores all the time.

Frank fought this bear once...

Can I have a?

Did you say vanilla shake?

A peanut butter fudge shake, please.

Peanut butter fudge shake.

It'll be $4.25.

Oh, please have my change of quarters, please.

Shake will be right out.

Oh, okay.

Kate?

Axel. I haven’t seen you in forever.

How you been?

Good.

Did you

go away to college or something?

No. - Oh.

Oh, hey, I heard about your dad.

I'm really sorry.

Yeah.

So, what have you been up to these days?

Video games.

Oh, a gamer.

That's cool. I wish I could make a living off Call of Duty.

I don't make a living off it.

Speaking of duty,

I work for ICE now

Keeping America safe.

Why are you talking to me?

Oh, I just hadn't seen you in a while, and you came in, it was one of those...

Peanut butter fudge shake! - Sorry

I didn't mean that to be mean or anything.

I just don't talk to a lot of people.

But here, do you want a sip of my shake?

I can’t. Peanut allergy.

I'm so sorry.

I have to go, but keep the goatee It looks really good on you.

Okay.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

You missed a spot!

Thank you.

So you going digging for treasure?

No, I'm just.

I'm just going on a stroll. I'm not. No.

Mm hmm.

What?

He says you ought to put on some real shoes.

But I say it ain't our place to judge the fancy footwear of you city folk.

I'm from here.

Then you're just one fry shy of a Happy Meal, ain’t you, honey?

Thank you.

Watch out for skeeters.

What? - And bears.

Oh, my Gosh.

Oh, my Gosh.

No. Oh.

Okay.

Where is X?