Torpedo: U-235 (Torpedo)

Oh, shut your mouth.

They're here.

What time is it?

I don't know, I lost my watch.

A lot of good you are!

Time for some fun.

Look here! A new watch!

And it's got a stopwatch!

I surrender.

Gentlemen.

That is the plan.

Desperate times, desperate measures.

Lieutenant Maes,

the head of the Belgian government

selected you to lead this operation.

Good.

Admiral Godfrey has agreed

to give us British logistical support.

That was before I knew the plan.

What you need is psychological support.

We understand you have

different priorities,

but all we're asking for is the boat and the prisoner.

Christ Almighty!

Where are you going to find a crew that's up to this?

We took care of that.

We selected a group

of loyal, well-trained Belgian soldiers.

I want the bad eggs.

That's not what we discussed.

The British army have been looking

for these lunatics for months.

Their status on our files is shoot on sight.

Relax, Admiral.

Nobody even knows where they are.

Withholding the whereabouts of those people

will see you face court martial.

My chances of surviving a firing squad

are considerably higher

than surviving this mission, sir.

They might be insane, but so is this goddamn plan.

Desperate times... Desperate measures.

Ask what you like, but for Christ's sake, relax.

We still need him.

- Anyone fancy an apple? - Later, Tamme.

- Stan, you? - Not now.

- Hello? - Hello, Werner?

- Hello. - Werner, can you hear me?

Yes, we... We have the package.

Sorry, repeat?

I repeat, we have the package.

Roger that. The mailman will pick it up at noon.

Now, make sure Stan

doesn't damage the package this time, will you?

Well, he's just asking the package a few questions.

I'm serious now.

Six, after shooting that big, fat bear.

- I've got six. - The fat guy?

Yeah, the big fat one.

Don't be stupid, mate. I shot the fat...

God damn it!

Come on, you bastard!

You said I could go with you this time!

Was last minute!

Always the same thing around here!

These potatoes are sprouting.

Yeah, then do the shopping yourself!

I've had it!

There's not a lot he can tell us with his lungs full of water.

How long now?

One minute sixteen.

That's enough.

Hey, actually we're all pretty friendly around here.

Yeah, we're all very friendly around here.

Do you want some water?

Alright, get out.

Hey, just try to answer our questions, please.

This is for you.

Just tell him what he needs... Look out!

Werner, what's that?

Is everything okay?

The package is okay, right?

- I-I hear nothing. - Werner?

- I just heard a very loud bang... - Over and out!

Damn it, they'll be coming to fetch him soon!

Stan!

Now he's going to take up less room.

Forget it.

With all due respect.

Your son Dieter...

Yep.

I see the resemblance.

KILLED IN ACTION

- How? - Shrapnel.

No further information.

Why are you telling me that?

Do you really thing I'd betray my country because of that?

This is war.

We've all lost someone.

It's not about who we've lost.

It's about who we can still save.

His name is Franz.

Yep.

The boy was named after his grandfather.

You alright?

No, I'm not alright.

I'm fed up with just doing all of the shopping

and prying bullets out of people.

I want another job.

He just wants to protect his little girl, that's all.

- Leave me alone. - Sorry. Hey...

Actually, I found something that might interest you.

Here...

What's that?

A B cartridge, I think it said.

I found a whole case of them.

It's just the right caliber.

First a kiss.

Let's see what it can do.

Not really ideal for hunting.

Come on, then.

Come on, Fons. Come on, Fons!

- Come on! - Oh!

Yes! The best lefty in Europe!

Come on, now, let's hear it!

Oh, come on! Is that the best you can do

playing for the biggest club in Flanders?

Come on!

Is that all?

You'd be better off hunting more and screwing less.

Stan?

Stan, there's a German car parked in the wood.

Darling?

Your wife, I would presume?

Here...

You can sell it to the Jews.

Where have you hidden them?

Gunther?

Fill up the bathtub.

I've been to the post office.

Still nothing.

You don't suppose something's happened?

I'm sure she would have written...

I told you to put that out of your mind.

The mail is intercepted at the French border.

I was thinking that little Louis is probably already walking.

Sorry.

We've got a visitor. Come.

Hey.

Hey.

I need that German's briefcase.

Yeah... Everything's still in it, so...

And the Fritz? He's got crucial information

about troop movements in the Ardennes.

Yeah...

The Fritz is still in the bath.

You've got to be joking!

His head must be around here somewhere.

Jesus, Stan! This is no laughing matter.

I laughed my head off.

Any news?

I have to tell you that this is a very special mission.

Congo?

Finally getting out of these fucking woods.

I've even got ticks on my balls.

But Fritz isn't in the Congo.

Forget it, we're fine right here.

The mission is of vital strategical importance.

We couldn't give a shit.

We kill Krauts, that's strategic enough.

- Oh, do whatever you want. - Hey.

What do these figures down at the bottom mean?

It's what you get paid.

Hey, Van Praag, you can buy your football team!

Great.

Maybe they'll even let you play again.

Why not?

As long as I'm wearing this around my neck, Fons,

it's not going to happen.

Oh, yeah, one more thing.

I forgot to say that the mission would result

in a whole bunch of dead Nazis.

And she would be a lot safer, too, right?

BELGIAN CONGO

Alright, wake up, gentlemen! We're there.

Hey, hey, bloody hell, man. Be reasonable.

Oh, well then,

you shouldn't have got so pissed then, should you?

Alright, there it is, men! Take a look.

What's up? You're turning green.

I just don't like water.

I can't swim.

Maybe they have water wings!

Men, welcome to Africa.

I told you that it was a special mission.

Come.

Don't touch anything.

Jesus, it stinks.

Okay, men.

For those of you who aren't very good in geography,