South Park

Yes, sir -- If you're looking to move out of the city,

I think your family would love South Park.

You can get four times the house here

that you can get in the city.

A cortado? Is that like a coffee?

Yeah, we -- we have a coffee shop here. Yes.

We're up in the mountains about an hour from Denver...

Do you think you could drive out from the city this weekend

and I could show you some properties?

Oh, you have a Tesla? Oh, how nice.

South Park -- yeah, it's a charming country village.

If you're able to work from home,

I think you'll really love it out here...

LaCroix? The sparkling Mineral Water?

Yes, I do believe we have that in our stores here...

We're seeing a massive influx of city people

moving out here to the country.

And the truth is we just don't have enough real estate agents

to keep up with all the demand.

Well, I don't have much experience,

but I thought I'd give real estate a try.

Mrs. Cartman, being a real estate agent

takes a lot of intellect and a lot of raw talent.

You have to get your picture taken.

Get people to like the picture and go,

"Oh, I'd like to hang out with that person."

And then act like you like those people

when you show them houses.

Well, I do believe I'm good with people, and the truth is...

I need to do this for my son.

Our...rent is going up

because of all the new people moving into town --

and I don't think I can afford it anymore.

Well, then, I'm going to give you a shot, Mrs. Cartman.

For your little boy.

God dammit...

Oh, you piece of shit!

Hello, sweetie!

Mom! Where the hell have you been?!

I've been home from school for like 45 minutes!

I'm sorry, honey, mommy had some errands.

I didn't have anything to eat except Nutella.

I was about to call Child Services!

Honey... Mommy has some big news.

What.

I...got a job, Eric.

I'm your job.

Oh, honey -- It's going to be good.

Mommy is just going to be working a few days a week

and you can be a big boy and take care of yourself.

No. Eric, this has to happen.

We can't afford to live in this house

unless I make more money, and this job pays really well.

Wha-- What job could you possibly have?

You don't know how to do anything.

I'm a real estate agent.

A what?

Hey, Butters, I need your help.

Well -- Well, sure, Eric! What's goin' on?!

Butters, I have some shocking news...

My mom got a job.

Oh...Oh, and you're worried that maybe now

your mom won't always be there to take care of you?

What? No. My mom got a job.

My mom is dumb as shit

and somebody is paying her to do something.

Have you ever heard of a real estate agent, Butters?

Well, not really. Yeah, well, neither had I.

So I looked it up on a bunch of those shows and stuff.

You don't do anything.

You just look nice and hug people

and then when someone buys or sells a house, you make money.

Wow! Well, that sounds like a good deal!

It's more than a good deal, Butters,

it's legal theft.

If my mom can be a real estate agent,

then literally anyone in the world can.

We've got all these people moving

from the cities into our town,

I can probably be a millionaire in just a few days time.

Wow wee!

Now, whatever you do, don't tell anybody.

If anyone else finds out about this,

they'll all want to be real estate agents, too.

You've always been great at taking pictures, Butters.

I won't forget this when I'm rich.

Gosh, thanks, Eric!

Okay, Liane... You've got this.

You can do this.

Bottled water. Bottled water. Bottled water.

Hello there! I believe I spoke with you on the phone?

I'm Liane Cartman with South Park Realtors!

Uh-huh...Uh-huh...

Well, this is the house I was telling you about.

It just came on the market.

It's a 2,300 square foot mid colonial home.

Detached garage. Pilates?

Excuse me? Pilates.

Is there a gym my wife can do Pilates?

Oh, you're about five minutes from the local gym.

Pilates. Bottled Water?

Oh! Um, you have such a lovely family!

It must have been a big drive from the city?

Tesla. We have a Tesla.

Wi-Fi! Wi-Fi!

Is there Wi-Fi? No Wi-Fi. Bottled water.

Well, come on in, let me show you around!

Okay, this is a three bedroom house with bathrooms.

Front yard and back yard.

Eric... what are you doing?

Oh, I just got some clients here looking to relocate.

These people are from the city.

Uh, cortado. Bottled water.

Wi-Fi. Pilates.

Uh, excuse me one moment.

Eric!

What are you up to?

I got a job as a real estate agent, mom.

You are not a real estate agent --

Neither are you --

Now just march right back home

and I will see you when I am done with work!

Mom, real estate is an open market.

You're not the only one who gets to take advantage

of all the city people.

Cortado? Cortado!

Oh, bottled water? Wi-Fi!

Metal bottled water!

Eric, this house is being represented

by South Park Realtors.

You don't get to just walk in and show it!

Oh! Ok! That's fine!

I have tons of friends in South Park!

I'll get my own listings!

People... this is the most exciting time

in the history of South Park...

As you know, there are people from all over the country

leaving the cities and coming to small, rural towns like ours.

It's truly incredible for all of us.

With this new surge of people from urban areas,

we're seeing more town money from sales taxes,

more profit in our local businesses --

My bakery has seen a 20% increase in sales.

Oh, I just love all these city people moving in!

That's right. It's great to have chitty people.

These chitty people come with their fancy chitty clothes

and their big chitty cars.

You know, and these chitty people

have a chitty way of doing things

that will expose us all to their chitty ideas.

Yeah, and they've got city money and city lifestyles!

Chitty money, chitty lifestyles.

And they'll move here and bring their chitty families.

And their cultured, chitty kids will hang out with our kids

and expose them to their chitty ways.

I've always dreamed of South Park

becoming more than a little hick town.

And these city people bring with them...a new hope.

Here's to the future, everyone!

The future!

Okay, so this is a three bedroom two and a half bath --

Come on in, everybody!

Wi-Fi?

-Wha-- Wha-- Wha-- Wha? -LaCroix.

You got about 2,300 square feet

and there is a finished basement.

Oat milk. Oat milk. Detached garage --

stairs head up to the master,

which is an en suite, if I remember correctly.

Let's get on back to the kitchen...

Cortado?

You've got a nice, big kitchen, pretty, new appliances.

Door in the back gets you out to the garage.

Excuse me, what are you doing?

Just showing them your house.

Come on, let's check out the second floor --

Our house isn't for sale! Hey!

Nice, big bathroom for the two rooms up here.

Tweek's grandma is staying in one of the rooms,

which serves as an office space when she's not here.

And then we are back down to the spacious living room!

Will you please get out of our house.

Yeah, we're just about done.

Well, what do you guys think?

MacBook, Tesla.

I'm sorry, I didn't get that...

My son left his MacBook in the Tesla.

Oh, sure, well, let's head on out now.

We can take a look at Jimmy's house.

It doesn't have such sucky furniture.

Let me talk to these guys

and see if we can come up with a number.

I think I can get you 4 million for this place.

$4 million? Really?

I'll be in touch.

Told you our furniture sucked!

Hey -- Hey, John, I got some bad news --

We just lost another client to South Park Realty Group.

What?! We're losing people like crazy.

These guys are ruthless.