Robin Williams: Come Inside My Mind

Robin Williams: Ladies and gentlemen, it's time to pump neurons.

We are about to enter the domain of the human mind.

James Lipton: How do you explain the mental reflexes

-that you deploy with such awesome speed? -(whistles)

Are you thinking faster than the rest of us?

-What the hell is going on? -(audience laughs)

Jesus.

"What is it about your mind?

"What is it that does this thing to you?

Try to explain yourself!"

Comes from a deep part inside myself

that was actually looking for my mother,

but yet I saw that moment when she looked up there,

and I went, "Okay, I'll be funny for her.

Okay, that's fine, work that way."

Come back from that, realize after a while

that I want to be accepted.

"You like me. You really like me."

No, it's not that. I can be trained.

I can show you how intelligent I am.

I can use a word like "delicatessen"

and know what it means.

Or "invertebrate."

Or "inveterate."

Or "degenerate."

-But all of that... -(audience laughter)

...is all part of it, because it's all part of the mind

that actually flows like that, because I realize

that the human mind is a three-and-a-half pound gland

that pumps neurons constantly and deals with itself

by responding to stimulus. That's what we're designed to do,

evolving slowly. Even Darwin's going, "I have hopes!

I had such high hopes!"

It's all part of it, because I believe

the human mind is adapting and evolving slowly but surely

but I'm trying not to speak that fast,

because eventually, you have to catch up.

Lipton: Wow.

Larry Grobel: Do you have any fears?

Robin: I guess it'd be that fear that if I felt like

I was just becoming... not just dull, but a rock.

That I still couldn't spark.

Then I'd start to worry.

Where are my glasses?

-They're on your face. -Oh. Thank you.

Robin: What you do is kind of keep yourself fresh.

You don't burn out. That's a never-ending struggle.

-We didn't have water when I was growing up, Dave. -Letterman: Is that right?

My mother and father would have to take hydrogen and oxygen and shove it together.

-Made your own water. Wow. -Made our own water!

Isn't it interesting in the '80s, you meet someone you like,

you say, "Gosh, Helen, I-- I really care about you.

Can I have some blood and urine?"

And you think eventually-- you think sex will eventually be...

"Uh, Helen, I'm in the airlock now."

"Fine, Harry, leave the sperm in the tray. I'll get it tomorrow."

Inappropriate anecdotes on a celebrity talk show.

So I said, "Get off me, Grandma. I'm done."

Famous Hollywood roles as played by Carol Channing.

"Well, surely you must be the Son of God."

Robin: This is Elmer Fudd

sings Bruce Springsteen.

Robin: Risking, for me, it's always been

kind of part of the thing of just trying different things.

It's the process of the work peeling away again,

you think you're great, and then something comes along

and goes, "You're not that hot."

But it's always that thing that keeps you moving forward.

Cameraman: I'm sorry, you have two hairs--

There's... hairs are sticking up.

-Oh shit, man. -(laughter)

How fucked up is that?

Hair is sticking up?

Shit. We have to do it all over now.

This is bullshit. Two hairs?

Fuck you, man. We were into a groove.

Two hairs. Blow me, dude!

Two hairs. I can see you looking at the monitor going,

"Can someone..."

Bob, normally, it's usually like a mic shadow,

but two fucking hairs? Jesus Christ.

Is it okay now, Bob? Now, we'll start again.

It's better that we go again. Take two...

without the two hairs.

You want to start again?

Shall we go from the top?

I was so fucking quiet.

My father was kind of very intense.

He was always on the road, because he was working for Ford Motor Company.

He had to go back and forth all over the Midwest

to take care of all of these dealerships.

But every time he came back,

he would bring me some kind of--

like a small car or a tank

or something, and I'd be like, "Dad's home!"

So that was my connection

with my father.

My mother was a comedy maven.

She was very entertaining.

Just seeing her being funny with other people.

I think that was the major thing.

We were moving a lot because of my father.

We lived in this big place for a while in Detroit.

This huge house.

I was lonely.

There were no friends around.

I was an only child, raised by,

basically, the maid for a long time.

-Some toys to play. -Look at me!

-One for the campfire. -I want the green planet.

-Mine! -Give it to me! Give it to me!

-Help me! Help me! -Come along, dear.

Daddy, I can't carry bags. Bags heavy.

I went to an all-boys private school.

I was as serious a student as you could be,

you know, cum laude society and the whole thing.

And an athlete.

I remember the motto of my private school was

"In sound mind, in sound body."

It's a bit like the school in Dead Poet's Society,

and I was one of the students going, yes.

Jack Parr (on TV): The wild, wild man, my friend Jonathan Winters.

Robin: I saw my father watching The Tonight Show,

with Jonathan Winters.

My dad was a sweet man but not an easy laugh.

Jonathan Winters (on TV): I did a thing that, uh,

a lot of us... probably would like to do.

Maybe a few of us don't.

I don't know. I'll just have to ask you:

Did you ever undress in front of a dog?

Robin: My dad lost it, and I went, "Who is this guy?

You made the great white father laugh."

Do something with a stick.

Watch him do a routine with the stick.

You can give him anything.

Well, that was a pretty good cast, wasn't it, Bob?

I think we're onto something this time. Mm-hmm.

I'm sorry, Margaret. Try to swim in.

Doctor, I'm not kidding.

I seen them beetles,

and this is one of their feelers.

Thoop.

The United Nations...

now recognizes the delegate from NASA-Land.

-Oh! Mr. Williams! -Elmo.

What are you gonna do with that stick?

Oh, there's lots of things

you can do with a stick, Elmo.

Hey, you maybe could be playing hockey with it.

Yeah, I been goalie now

for about three years,

and it hasn't affected me.

Maybe it could be like a baton.

: There you are, conducting a full orchestra.

Thank you, Madonna,

for that lovely lingerie melody.

I better go back. We'll never be able to do that.

I realize.

Or it could be a cane.

Well, Nancy and I

are just happy to be here.

Or you can play Pinocchio: The Home Game.

I have two Academy Awards, Elmo.

Stuff like that, Elmo, just simple things.

-Ah. Uh-huh. Oh. -Yeah.

And I'll tell you what I'm gonna do with this stick.

-What? -I'm gonna give it to you.

Oh. Thank you, Mr. Robbins.

Mr. Robbins?

I'm taking the stick back, Elmo.

Elmo: I only had three lines!

Robin: When I was 16, we moved to San Francisco.

Robin: Boom! Everything opened up. The whole world just changed.

Robin: Everything was loose, sexually loose,

everything, and I was going, "Well, okay!"

From yin to yang in 24 hours.

We were going from Detroit, Middle West, all-boys school,

to an open-ended San Francisco high school.

It's this incredibly relaxed thing.

There was no discipline at all.

It was like we had gestalt history classes.

"Can you see Lincoln? He's in the back of the room."

Robin: I was in a senior class parody

of all of the stuff that was going on at this school.

I did an impression of a teacher who was pretty out there.

His name was Mr. Lavezzo.