Poms

You know...

you think that when you get old,

you'll pass on all your junk to your kids,

and it'll become their problem to deal with

when you're gone.

Guess what?

I never had any kids.

And I've got a whole lot of junk.

Morning.

- Hi. -Can I help with anything?

-You want anything? -Thank you. Just looking.

So, here I am.

I'll give it to you for 30. It's okay.

You can have this, look.

-That's 15. -Yeah, thanks.

Got that? Thirty-five.

I just love estate sales.

You know, 'cause they, like, give you a glimpse into a person's life.

Eighty-three fifty.

Did you know the owner?

-I did. -How did she die?

Cancer.

Oh, I'm so sorry to hear that. Who was she?

Nice choice.

Thank you very much.

I have lived in this same apartment for 46 years.

Ugh!

-I don't know where the years have gone. -

Oh, my God.

Ah, my mom.

She used to say that we don't die.

We live on through the memories we leave behind.

Goodbye.

I guess this is it for me.

Hi, Martha. This is Lindsey from Dr. Lee's office.

You missed your appointment this morning.

- I'd like to cancel, actually. -Ugh...

No, I mean, what I'm saying is I'd like to cancel all my appointments.

But your chemo starts next week. You should really just speak with her.

No, Lindsey! I'm not doing the treatment.

Come on!

What? Oh, c-- Anytime!

Sorry, but yeah.

Okay, go on by!

Go ahead!

Really? Wow.

Hi!

Hey there!

Oh, my God.

Oh, hi there!

Hello!

Oh!

Oh, shoot.

You like that one?

Yeah, I'll take it.

Oh, my goodness! You must be Martha!

Huh? Oh.

I'm Vicki.

-This is Gayle and Barbara. -Hey!

-Hello! -We are the welcoming committee.

And this is for you.

Oh. Oh! Ah!

-I'm sorry! -Excuse me. I'm sorry.

-That's fine. Don't worry about it. -You got it.

-Anyway... -Just a little southern hospitality.

Now, what brings you to Sun Springs?

Oh, I'm just here to die.

Well, I think we can aim a little bit higher than that.

Let's get started with the tour.

-Uh-huh. -What do you mean, the tour?

-You're official! -Wait, whoa.

-Yeah, let's go. -You gotta protect that pretty skin.

-Oh, yeah. -If you're gonna tackle this one.

- So sorry. -We'll put that in your front yard.

All right, put your hands up! Come on, don't be lazy!

We've got everything you could ever need.

We've got three golf courses,

two bowling alleys,

oh, an indoor pool,

and the outdoor pool.

-The works. -Yeah.

I always say,

if you are bored in Sun Springs,

you just need to be watered.

-It's true. -Yeah.

-She always says that. -She does.

Let's move on.

All our residents are required to join at least one club.

Oh.

Now, there are over 100 of 'em.

In the unlikely event that you can't find the right club for you,

-fun fact! -What?

You can start your own!

Gayle and I started a club called the Southern Belles.

Oh, is that a fact, Vicki?

I'm not allowed to join.

It's called the Southern Belles. It's not called the Wisconsin Belles.

I don't know how many times I have to explain that to you.

Oh, and the biggest event of the year is the Senior Showcase.

-Oh. -Oh, my God!

Really?

All of Sun Springs' talent on one stage.

The whole community comes out to watch. It's a real hoot.

You're gonna love it, Martha.

Well, I mean, I'll, uh...

Obviously, I will be sure and check my calendar.

-Great. -But if you'll excuse me, ladies,

I just want to say thanks for the tour.

I should get going, though. I really should--

Wait. No, you haven't done your safety training.

My what?

Safety training.

Uh-huh.

As Chief of Security, it's my job to keep our residents safe.

I run a team of highly trained volunteers, just like Dorris here.

Say hi, Dorris.

-Hi! -Hello, Dorris.

All tips are anonymous.

So if you see something, say something.

Like what?

Overgrown hedges.

Excessive lawn ornamentation.

If someone has their Christmas lights on past New Years, that's a big one.

Very big.

Well, are you authorized to use deadly force?

Excuse me?

Well, let's just say it's July

and my neighbor hasn't taken down his Christmas lights.

Are you gonna have the guts to do what it takes?

Well...

mostly we just issue citations.

I'm glad you find this so amusing!

Oh!

Oh.

Oh, my God.

Oh.

-Hi! Moving in? -Oh. Yeah.

I was hoping you'd be a man.

Excuse me?

Did you know single women outlive single men by almost ten years?

And Lord knows there's not enough erections around here as it is.

Oh, we're talkin' erections, huh? Wow.

I'm Sheryl.

-Sheryl. -I live next door.

-Yes, Sheryl. Good to meet you. -Hey, you don't play poker, do you?

Because I run a weekly game,

and we could sure use another player.

It's all very hush-hush because gambling's not allowed around here,

like most things that are worthwhile.

You should drop by tonight and say hi to the guys.

God, you know, it's been a very...

Look, it's a long day for me. I just moved in, and...

But thanks, I really appreciate what you're...

-The invitation's sweet. -I get it.

It's really nice. Thanks so much for coming by.

- See ya. - Great.

Ugh, God. Bye!

Okay.

Oh, my God.

Okay.

That's it.

- Okay. -

Let's go. Move it.