Matky

SIMPLY ME #HAPPYLIFE

A NEW ERA BEGINS! #2IN1 #BABY #ILLBEAMOM

I WISH YOU WERE HERE. I CAN'T WAIT. #ITSAGIRL #BABY #LOVE

IT'S HERE. #BABY #LOVE

Are you okay?

ON OUR WAY TO HOSPITAL. #ITSCOMING #BABY #BIRTH

MAKE IT FAST!

FINGERS CROSSED!

MAKE IT FAST…

Not from that angle.

Hello.

Take it before I give birth!

My name's Sára and I'm an influencer.

I've always had a nice butt so I take photos of it.

It earned me 170,000 followers.

It's a bit bigger now. I'm pregnant.

But my boobs are bigger too. Another 20,000 followers.

Plus the mommy sector, 38,000.

Altogether, I have 228,000 followers.

And how many friends do I have? Three.

Hedvika,

Eliška

and Zuzana.

SÁRA'S LIVE.

SÁRA'S LIVE.

SÁRA'S LIVE.

It's happening. Milan!

SÁRA'S LIVE.

2,611.

It's here! But I feel great because I took this anti-stress…

You're so brave!

NURSES' ROOM

-Hello. -Hello, mommy. Hello. Come.

This is my first time, just like for you. There.

Good.

I'm here with you.

Well…

Push as if you're pooping. Make a poo.

-Make a poo. Make a poo. -That's not for kids!

Come on inside, I connected the TV.

It will be okay.

She's started pushing!

Good. Good. Let me see.

I'll take a look.

-Make a poo. -Good job.

Push hard.

We'll do an episiotomy.

Jesus Christ!

God!

-She's here. -She's made it.

Wonderful.

Well done.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday to you.

Happy birthday, dear Hynek.

Come, Milan!

Happy birthday to you.

Let's clap our hands. Yeah!

-Milan. -Patricie's booked me a ticket.

The flight is in two hours.

In two hours?

Are you leaving right now? You're kidding, right?

I'm really sorry. I'd rather stay with you.

-Sure. -Duty calls. What can I do?

That's a Klímek. Tin and gold.

Gold? You mean real gold?

-How much did it cost? -250 grand.

Shit.

-You will sleep over, right? -I can't, I'm working tomorrow.

That's not a problem. I'll drive you, okay?

You'll have some wine and a bath.

We'll talk. I need a shoulder to cry on.

-Okay. -Yeah!

Duchess Kate needed just a few hours to walk out of the hospital in heels,

with a wide British smile.

And I can't even go to the bathroom.

I am Kate! I am Kate!

I am Kate, I am Kate…

-Thank you. -No problem. Here, your snacks.

-Come on. -Are you sure you don't want a ride?

No way. One ride and they won't give you a break.

Don't grimace or you'll stay that way!

And you'll have the stupid look of your dad.

Take care.

-It was great. Thanks. -It was.

-Don't you want to live here? -We do. Forever.

-Thanks for coming. Bye. -Bye.

I don't want a nanny.

She smells like goat's poo.

She's a goat.

And she smells like garlic. She's a witch.

-You can't say that. -Why can't we go with you?

Because I'm going to work and if I'm late they'll fire me again.

You can take the tablet from your dad and watch his films at Mrs Hlaholová's.

Yes, dad! Dad! Dad!

Our tram, quick! Come on, I'll race you!

Hurry!

Move it!

Great. Perfect.

Mom, it's a ticket inspector.

-Sit with Maruška. -Hello, ticket inspection.

-Ticket inspection? -Yeah.

-Fine, I'll file a complaint. -Why?

Your trams aren't suitable for small kids.

Loads of stupid buttons which are easy to push.

High seats with no seat belts. What if we crashed, huh?

My kids weigh just 15 and 20 kg.

One will fly over the seats and smash into the windscreen.

And the other will be crushed by that woman's fat ass.

-Excuse me? -Calm down, lady.

I'm not a lady, I'm a mother. A mother! What are you?

You should be glad anyone's actually riding in these coffins on wheels.

You should be giving me life annuity for even getting on with my kids!

Come on.

Hurry.

Mommy, you were great today.

-Great. -You too.

I love you.

So far it's piece of cake, mothers.

MEET LEA. OUR MIRACLE.

Stop, stop, stop!

She's sleeping.

Sára?

Your wife's over there.

-You know her? -From the internet.

Hi.

Hi.

Hi.

-God, she's so beautiful. -Honey, don't breathe on her.

Oh, okay.

-Did you get everything? -I think so.

Your creams.

-Clothes, toothbrush, panties… -Disposable ones?

No, with lace.

Let's breast-feed, mom.

-She's sleeping now. -She'll wake up.

-Let's see if she starts sucking. -But she's sleeping.

-You sit. -Okay.

-And you breast-feed. -Okay.

Sweetie, it's time for your milk.

-Come on, wake her up. -But she's asleep.

-I'm not. -You can sleep.

-And you wake her up. -Okay.

Sweetie. Lea…

-We don't have all day. -But she is…

Let me do it.

Pull her leg like this. Or just try tickling her. Come on.

Take it out.

There, get the breast.

Her hand like this. Well.

Squeeze the breast.

She doesn't want it. Lea.

You must squeeze it right here.

Put it in her mouth. It's open, can't you see?

And stretch the glands like this.

When she starts sucking, each breast five minutes.

Don't let her fall asleep, you're not a dummy.

And if she won't start, we'll try again

a few more times before switching to formula.

Daddy will keep an eye on mommy.

What do you want, dear?

Zdeněk, something stronger for you?

No, thank you. I'm driving.

-For you, Bětka? Sherry? -No, thanks.

Elizabeth, when I look at you, I think

you might like some grandma's clothes.

My mother-in-law was really chic. And it's still trendy.

I can't wear them because they're three times my size.

Zdeněk will take them to you during the week. At least he won't be bored.

Mom, Dad. Zdeněk and I have an announcement to make.

Are you getting divorced?

Eliška has always been a good daughter.

She had straight As, helped around the house,

and never brought any friends home.

-But then she brought Zdeněk over. -We're having a baby.

That's great news.

Yeah…

-Can it still be reversed? -Mom?!

What about your studies, Elizabeth?

-But… -She doesn't mean it like that.

She just wants the best for you. Just like you will, for your own kid.

I know someone at the faculty.

The dean is the same age as me, so you can always turn to him.

Isn't that a bit premature?

Tibor, you deal with the dean.

Tell him the sky is the limit,

as long as Bětka can come back after it's born.

We'll pay for everything, including nannies, no worries.

You won't suffer any loss.

What if Eliška doesn't want to go back?

Or what if the little one wants an apprenticeship?

Excuse me? Don't you ever joke about that.

I may look like I'm made of steel but I'm fragile.

Don't overreact, dear.

Let's calm down.

Well, here's to being on first-name terms, Zdenda.

I'm driving.

-Tibor. -Zdeněk.

So, you're going to be a dad.

What an era, isn't it?