Family Guy

Family Guy 7x02 I dream of Jesus

You know kids, there's a lot of history here. This 50's dinos were very popular in the 80's.

Boy, I'm gonna enjoy this meal.

Not like last night when I didn't have time to poop before the guests arrived.

Left time? You know what, I'm gonna go for it.

Son of a bitch! Looks like I have to pile dinner on top of... HEY GUYS HOW ARE YE!

Look at this place. They don't serve any of this 1950-food anymore.

Hamburgers, french fries, cokes. He-he, you kids don't know what I'm talking about.

I love how service looks like stars from the 50's.

Marilyn Monroe. Elvis. And look there's James Dean after the accident.

Can I tell you about tonights specials?

Oh, look, Cleveland finally made it.

Oh, hey there Griffins.

Oh, that takes me back.

Hey! What are you, a robot?

No son. It's the 1950's and I have polio.

Wow, I've never heared of that before.

Oh yeah Chris. Poilo back then was like AIDS today. Except people who have polio get in to heaven.

Oh my God! This is Surfin' Bird by The Thrashmen. This is my favorite song of all time.

Chris don't you know about the bird?

Meg, everybody knows that the bird is the word!

Hey, the guy behind the counter, the bird is the word!

Hey, frightened little child, the bird is the word.

Lady on the toilet, the bird is the word.

Hey, don't you know about the bird?

Sure, everybody knows that the bird is the word.

I get it, I get it, I love repetition.

Hey what the big idea?

This song from the 1960's, it shouldn't be in this jukebox.

Wait wait! Can I have that record? I love that song.

I'll let you have sex with my daughter.

I don't know, let's see what you daughter looks like.

She's... er... right there.

Okay. I'll do her. But can you tell her to cry and beg me to stop?

I think this can be arranged.

Peter will you give this song a rest? It've been playing since we've got home.

No way Lois, it's my new favorite thing in the world.

Argh...

Lois... I'm gonna ask you this only once

Do you or do you not know about the bird?

Oh God!

'Cause everybody's heared that the bird is the word...

Aw...

Oh God! Sorry, sorry, sorry.

Look, just go to sleep all right?

Peter, I have a mammogramm in the morning.

Brian, can I see this paper for a sec?

Huh... That's odd I thought that would be big news.

You thought what would be big news?

Well there seems to be an absence of a certain onophylogical piece.

A headline regarding mass awareness of a certain avion variety

What are you talking about?

Oh, have you not heared?

It was my understanding that everyone have heared.

Heared what? Brian, don't!

Brian don't you know about the bird?

Well, Peter's gonna tell you about the bird.

Oh my God! Peter are you all right?

Peter I was just at the bank and they told me you withdrew six thousand dollars cash from our savings.

That's almost everything we have! What the hell was it for?

I bought some local TV air time, Lois, and I did a public service announcement of vital importance.

Thank you.

Hi. I'm Peter Griffin.

You know there's an issue facing many americans today that are no concern a great number of us.

According to Gallup polls one in twelve americans is unaware that the bird is the word.

I for one dream of an America where everybody knows that the bird is the word.

My God! It's agrossable.

Have the boys at the lab confirm this?

Sir! Our math show that the bird is equal to or greater than the word.

Sick(?) it again!

Brian? Yeah.

I don't feel so good.

All right, that's it! We gotta do something about this.

We have to get this record and destroy it.

Just like that fat person surgery destroyed Star Jones' arms.

I look so good. I lost almost weight.

TAXI!

Coming to show to people how good I look.

WHO!? DID IT!?

Who did what, pop?

Yes Peter, what has you upset?

Surfin' bird is gone!

I took it to bed, had sex with it. It fell asleep in my arms and this morning it's gone.

Well Peter, nobody here would steal from you.

Oh, no one had a motive Lois?

You all had a motive, every one here.

You knew that I changed my will and left everything to the record.

And that's why you wanted the record out of the way.

Meg wanted to get a passport for her twin sister to get her out of the country but the record wouldn't allow it.

But Meg didn't count on me discover she has no twin sister.

And Meg itself was recently released from the sanitarium.

And that's where Chris came into the picture.

So you got it all figured out, do you?

You couldn't leave well enough(?) alone.

You won't fire Chris, you don't got the stomach for it.

I'm sorry dad, I've no idea what are you talking about.

Well, it's sure is odd. A record doesn't just get up and walk away.

Except for my old Allen Shaman record.

If you ain't gonna play me, don't complain when I try to split.

There's a lot of jews out there still get a laugh of a "hello mother, hello father".

Whoo, such heat this morning I don't need this jacket.

Well, a hell with all of you. I'm going downtown and buy another copy of Surfin' Bird.

Peter that's not necessary. I'm sure it'll turn up somewhere.

I wouldn't count on it Lois.

Do you have Surfin' Bird by The Thrashmen?

No, I'm sorry. Dog and a baby came in and bought all 63 copies.

Damn it, this is third used record store with the same story.

You are... You look familiar. Do I, do I know you?

Did you go into North Providence high school?

No.

You friends with Gary who owns a drycleaners?

No.

Are you Jesus Christ?

No...

Oh my God! You are, you Jesus Christ!

No, I'm not. I'm just the guy working at a record store.

Huh! Well if you're not Jesus Christ, then you won't mind if I pee on this Amy Grant CD's.

Don't...

Aha, you are Jesus.

Yes. I am.

Oh my God! Jesus Christ, the Messiah, you've returned.

You've returned to bring us the good word!

What word?

Jesus Christ has returned to Earth. I can't believe it.

The Second Coming.

Will you keep it down? It's not the second coming.

Okay, so what are you doing here?

Well, believe it or not, I pop in every hundred years or so.

Kinda incognito. Just to get away from the family.

Plus the timing seem good, 'cause my dad just quit smoking and is a little on edge.

Who took my checkbook? Helen! Why is there pencap and no pen?

You're the first person to reckognize me in two thousand years.

You seem like a nice guy. Won't you come over to my house for dinner tonight?

Okay. But I don't get off until 7.

Great! We'll have a blast. After we eat we can watch that youtube footage of Milly Metlin calling moviephone.

Please say the name of the movie you'd like to see NOW.

De nast memty.

I'm sorry I didn't catch that.

Please say the name of the movie you'd like to see NOW.

De nast memty.

You have selected Three Hundred.

If this is the movie you'd like to see, say yes NOW.

NO!

You have confirmed Three Hundred.

Wow! Jesus Christ at our dinner table. I still can't get over it.

I'm actually glad you're all here tonight.

I wanted tell you that one of you will betray me.

Just kidding.

He's doing this thing he did in this story book.

So Jesus finish that story you were telling us.