Mister Johnson

Bamu! Bamu!

Hey! Hey, Bamu!

Bamu, it's me, Johnson.

Bamu, Johnson come.

By God, Bamu, you're a pretty girl.

Beautiful.

I think you have the most beautiful breasts.

Beautiful breasts. God bless you for them.

I beg how much. Now go leave me alone.

Ah, Bamu.

I'm a rich man, Bamu. Rich.

Aye. I never seen such a beautiful girl.

I could teach you to be a civilized lady...

and you could do no work at all.

Did I say so crazy?

Left, right, left, right.

Left, right, left, right, left, right, left.

Good morning, sir.

Mr. Johnson, I want my money.

We want that money.

I will pay you soon. Health to you.

Good health. Good health.

Hey! Make them stop.

You no go inside. Go away!

Johnson?

Good morning, sir. God preserve you.

Johnson, why are you so bloody late?

S-Sir, the clock is fast.

The clock is stopped, Johnson.

Ah, but it was fast when it stopped, sir.

Get me that PWD circular that came in from Lagos, will you, Johnson?

Yes, sir. Ten seconds, sir.

Uh —

The point is, Waziri, you just can't do it.

- Why not, lord? - Because it's —

It's barbaric.

Oh, but i-it's been done for centuries.

Damn it, Waziri, I am not having women flogged.

There's been a directive from the governor.

- But they are prostitutes. - I don't care what they are.

No flogging.

What shall we do to them, Lord Rudbeck?

W-Well, put them in prison.

Prison?

That's abominable cruelty. They would die of shame.

Well, we can't flog them.

So we'll just have to think of something else then.

Well.

Left, right, left, right, left.

Saleh, my pet.

This is the file on elephant poachers.

And why in the name of God is it full of correspondence about tobacco?

Um —

Uh —

You say tobacco look like elephant dropping.

This is the local exports file.

Yes, sir.

Johnson.

What on earth has Sergeant Gollup's cow got to do with local exports?

Mmm —

I think the hide, sir.

But the bloody cow isn't dead.

But I think it going to die soon.

"Thy wife shall be as fruitful...

as the vine upon the walls of thy house.

Lo, thus shall a man be blessed."

And wilt thou, Mr. Johnson...

take this woman, Bamu, to be thy lawfully wedded wife?

Oh, yes. I certainly do.

And wilt thou, Bamu, take this man, Mr. Johnson...

to be thy wedded husband?

Uh, I now pronounce you man and wife.

What do you go after then, Gollup? Pig?

Oh, no, sir. No.

No, there, uh, there aren't no pig round here. Not now, sir.

Fair bit of guinea fowl though. Oh, yes.

- Any leopard? - There's a big one, sir.

So they tell me. Up the Bauchi Road.

Uh, got himself a couple nigs — natives, sir.

Uh, only last week.

I might have a go at him.

I'd go with you, if I didn't have to go on this damn tour up to Maiduguri.

Perhaps in a few months, eh?

Oh, right you are, sir. Not half. Oh, yes, yes.

All right.

Another one of Johnson's bloody parties. Big one too.

- Oh. - Probably going to go on all night.

- Go wear your English lady dress now. - It no good.

I will make you the seat.

But why not? Now, the right thing to do —

Waziri salutes Johnson, clerk of Fada.

I salute Waziri.

God grant you long life.

So... a beautiful wife.

A grand party.

Expensive.

But you are an important man, clerk Johnson.

I hear the new judge, Rudbeck, is your friend.

- Quite true, Waziri. - Hmm.

That you know everything that happens in the office.

Also true, Waziri.

In the government, we know all orders.

Mmm.

Mr. Bauli, who used to be clerk before you...

he was a good friend of mine.

So I have heard.

And you give him 10 shillings a month.

Ah, much more, clerk Johnson. More than that.

And he showed you all the government letters.

Mmm, sometimes if a letter came...

about the-the emir...

or the new taxes...

I read it even before the judge did.

You say to me, "You belong for the king.

You tell me all the king's thoughts.

I give you plenty money."

It is the custom.

You think I be thief, Waziri?

Bamu, why you no wake me?

Good-bye, Harry. See you in a few months.

Good-bye, sir. Oh, and, uh —

Oh.

Now, remember what I said. Keep an eye on the emir.

- And that cunning old Waziri. - Will do, sir.

Oh, that clerk of yours, uh —

- Uh, Johnson. - Johnson. Don't trust him.

Keep an eye on the whole bloody lot of 'em!

I work for Lord Rudbeck.

Go! Go away!

Go away! Away! I'll go pay you tomorrow!

Tomorrow!

What in God's name is going on here?

This one owes us money.

- To all these people? - And many more, lord.

What do you have to say, Johnson?

These ignorant, savage people.

They — They no understand that —

Ah, sir. Excuse me one moment, sir.

I think you wait for this, sir.

Yes, by God, at last.

Lord Rudbeck, sir. Our case.

Yes, a-another time, I'm afraid. I have things to do.

Away, you undereducated dogs!

Away! Away!

Go. Can't you see Lord Rudbeck is thinking?

Away. Make they go.

Excuse, sir.

Maybe you could advance me one small small portion of next pay.

Sorry, Johnson, you know the rules. You'll just have to be more prudent.

Oh, I will, sir. But I just got married, sir.

Look, Johnson, you know what'll happen.

Next month, there'll be another advance and so on.

Sorry. Bad idea.

Yes, sir. Thank you, sir.

Oh, you big, bloody fool, Johnson.

Johnson, why you so bloody late?

Eh? Ah, go away.

Sir.

- You know what this is, Johnson? - No, sir.

A prismatic compass.

- Isn't she a beauty? - Oh, yes, sir.

It'll make one fine road.

Yeah. Great thing, a road, Johnson.

Great thing.

When you've made a road, you know you've done something.

You've — You've —

Well, you can see it.

You can see that it's all been worth something.

Yes, sir. I agree for your beautiful road.

Yeah.

It's not going far, I'm afraid.

No bloody money.

Maybe we think of something, sir.

A big road bring in plenty trade.

That's it, Johnson. Precisely.

Yes. Not much hope for that, I'm afraid.

You can do it, sir. Join the big north road.

The mighty road to Kano.

The great north road?

That's a hundred miles, Mr. Johnson.

Fourteen rivers in the way.

Now kindly return to the paperwork department.

Oh, yes, sir. I bring you this.

Oh, yes. That's very thoughtful of you, Johnson.

Very thoughtful of you. Thank you.

My friend, Lord Rudbeck and me...

we are going to build a mighty road.

100 miles.

Oh, that's wonderful, Mr. Johnson.

Only 100 miles?