As It's Remembered

I have to do it again.

I see no other way.

If you could see what I see...

the way that I see it...

you would understand.

It's all about perception.

An entire school of thought exists claiming...

explaining that reality

is just a series of perceptions.

Now, if that were true,

don't you think you could change it?

I'm going to.

You see, I believe--

I know it's all locked in space.

It's all still happening.

It's like a record.

When it's playing, it's happening.

It's a story that's alive.

Like it has life.

But it's not.

It's locked.

Frozen in the wind.

From the very same time...

and it's always there,

just sitting.

Trapped.

Reality is like a record.

The trick is...

getting it to play again.

Miss Derkins.

He'll see you now.

Hey, Natalie.

Glad you could make it this week.

I want to do it again.

I know you do.

But I know--

You know that's not real.

Not something you can do, anyway.

Listen.

Take a breath. Close your eyes.

It's only an exercise.

Good. What do you see?

You know what I see.

It's the same every time.

The hill--

You're holding, you know you are.

-Why? -I just want to do it again.

I know. I know.

Now, let's just get back to--

Have you ever heard of George Berkeley?

Um, yeah.

Yes, Berkeley.

-Well, he said-- -"To be is to be perceived."

Right.

Basically, it's this whole thing about

how nothing actually exists unless there's somebody

who's actively perceiving it.

But how would that work?

I mean, the rocks in the woods.

Well, Berkeley said there's a great perceiver.

-God? -No.

God's too passive.

I think that we--

I think that people are actively perceiving

their own reality into existence.

So there is no God.

We're all gods.

I just want to do it again.

You shouldn't smoke.

It's cheaper than therapy.

So tell me more about this perception.

Kind of over it.

-You're afraid of what I write? -No.

Okay.

What?

It bothers you.

Nothing bothers me.

Natalie, unless I'm confused, you want to be God.

Something must be bothering you.

I want to be in control of my own reality.

I want to be the perceiver.

Not God.

Right, well...

you see in Berkeley's world, in his ideology...

God is the receiver...

everything exists.

The rocks in the woods,

the plants at the bottom of the ocean,

the wind in the desert

because it's being perceived by God.

So how does that undo what happened?

You got a lot of planes here.

Airport's just over there.

You say nothing can undo what happened.

Time flows forward.

Nothing changes that.

I was contacted by the FBI.

What are you doing?

What did they want?

You need to be careful.

Did you tell them about me?

No, no.

Our conversations are protected.

For now.

I have to make this happen.

-Natalie, what happens if you-- -I'll die.

Are you threatening to take your own life?

No.

But I'm going to die one way or another, right?

Natalie, I can't help you if I don't know your plan.

Natalie Derkins?

Are you Natalie Derkins?

-Yeah. -Special Agent Nuñez.

I have some questions to ask you.

May I come in?

-Do you want some water? -No, thank you.

Do you know why I'm here, Miss Derkins?

Well, much of your recent buying activity

is drawing some attention.

We'll just pretend like this is enough.

It's not, but, uh, I'd really like

to see somebody pull this off.

How is that any of your concern, sir?

You see, my department is sort of a--

We watch what people buy.

Then we determine if we need to see

what they're doing with their purchases.

You know, some a--

some math major with a minor in poly sci

buys two tons of fertilizer.

Maybe I need to come see if he's doing something--

If he's building a bomb?

Doing something he shouldn't.

But your idea is interesting.

This is what I'm trying to build.

Trying to change the past through perception.

So, how are you connecting perception to reality?

Perception is reality.

Imagining is not being.

If that were true, the Cubs would have won

the World Series by now.

How are you connecting the then to the now?

Sleeping pills.

Sensory cues,

the way that his jacket felt,

the music that we listened to...

cigarette smells.

Sure, so some fake VR?

I need it to be more than that.

I need it to be real.

I'm not building a bomb.

If you were clean, you wouldn't protest so much.

I protested once.

While I'm here.

So, I think you get the point

and I think you know where I'm going with this.

What is it that you think I've bought?

It wasn't two tons of fertilizer.

What could you possibly think that I have?

It's not what I think you have.

We're not the brightest over at the FBI,

but I'll tell you what we don't do.

You don't buy into any crazy theories or throw hunches.

I know what you have.

You've recently managed to obtain these materials,

Miss Derkins.

None of these are illegal to own.

Maybe not, but rarely do people buy these combinations

in these kinds of quantities.

Otherwise, I wouldn't be here.

On top of that with your major in engineering

and your minor in philosophy.

Do I need to get my lawyer?

Do you?

Can I use the bathroom?

You're talking about quantum immortality...

the idea that a particle can exist

in two places simultaneously.

Two different realities.

You know, like if you were to die

in one of them, well, then--

You could live in the other one.

Yeah, um...

your little doodle here might do it,

but it's kind of like

trying to get to Mars on a steam engine.

You're going to need some rocket fuel.

And a lot of people have gotten screwed up,

and a couple of people have died trying to pull

-this sort of thing off. -I don't care.

You're really going to be juicing your brain.

And Natalie, if certain people figure out

you're trying to pull this off

they're going to want to stop you.

I won't let them.

Do you have any more questions for me?

Should I?

What if I'm not satisfied with any of your answers?

Well, then I would get satisfied.

Miss Derkins, you do realize that my being here means