Camp Crasher (Campamento con mamá)

#VERYPREGNANT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY, SON!

TODAY WE WORK

CAMP CRASHER

RAMI

PENDING THIS ACCOUNT IS PRIVATE

FOLLOW THIS ACCOUNT

- -

Hey!

Easy does it!

Slip it right in there. Nice and gentle.

No. Come on, like you mean it.

Okay, too far. Too far.

-Can you drive? What's his problem? -I've got it. Don't rush me.

You sure don't look like you've got it.

Pull up.

Pull up. Pull up, pull up!

The hell?

Are you pranking me?

-No, but... -Okay, let me in. Scoot over.

-You make me nervous, Patricia. -Right.

I'd have been fine if you weren't here.

-Mother of God. -Oops.

He's been driving 60 years, you think he'd be more chill.

It's you. You stress him out.

And how am I supposed to look you in the eye?

I don't recognize you anymore.

-How come... -Don't you have work to do?

It's been slow so I'm rehearsing.

How come I can't see this pic of Rami?

You know why, Patri.

How?

Nah...

-Eh... -He must've blocked me by mistake.

-He's got butterfingers, that boy. -He didn't block his cool aunt.

Okay, back to work for real.

Acting is my work.

-But I thought you worked in logistics. - Mm.

Is the load of urine samples set to four degrees?

-Yes, I know. -Are you sure?

We wouldn't want a repeat of last time,

when the temp dropped and they arrived frozen.

-Want me to block you? -When your work's done, kiddo.

Hey.

You work way too much.

Maybe get a massage, or pick up a hobby for once?

Oh sure, why not? Let me see...

Intro to Origami class, or... No, bonsai.

-Which do you think is more me? -I mean it.

I have a business to run. Please.

When did you last take a vacation, Patricia?

-Papa never took a vacation. -Yeah, that's what killed him.

Oh my God.

You think Pop died 'cause of work? Nah, the man smoked like a chimney.

Isn't it weird you're trying to impress

a guy who named his business Pomiró and Sons,

despite only having daughters?

Show some respect, that's our father.

It's thanks to him you have this job and have time to do your play-acting.

Get to work, I'm busy.

Holding onto all Pop's baggage is bad for you.

Can't you put yourself first for once in your life?

You deserve to take some time off. Have some fun!

-Why don't you work for once in your life? -

-See ya, Carlita. -Bye.

Rami!

I'm home.

Ramiro.

Rami!

- -

- -Rami!

For the love of...

Son of a bitch! Ramiro!

Ramiro!

Hey!

-Ugh. -Yeah?

Hey!

Can you please clean up after yourself for once!

Just once can you put the lid on one single bottle,

that's all I'm asking.

If I had my own game room, I wouldn't get the house dirty.

Oh yeah, if you had that, you'd be a zombie!

Not a chance.

Please help me out here, Rami, darling.

Can you please shower, Rami?

-Go take a damn shower. -You don't have to boss me around.

I obviously do have to. I'm serious, go.

I don't want to.

My body, my choice. Maybe later, 'kay?

Don't forget to scrub your ears.

Oh, unbelievable...

Your room looks like someone dropped a bomb. My God...

-Did you hear me? - Yes, I'll clean it later.

Yeah, I'm sure.

Hey, Rami. I'll put your backpack on your bed.

And I brought you some sunscreen too.

- All right, already. -Hm.

Take a blanket, okay? It gets super cold there at night.

And don't wait till the last minute to pack your backpack.

Do you know if we're out of bug spray?

- - Why would I know that, Ma?

SHE WON'T LEAVE ME ALONE! SHE'S UNBEARABLE

DID YOU ASK HER? DO YOU WANT ME TO TALK TO HER?

I ALREADY TOLD HER. SHE AGREES.

All right, glad to hear it.

You can move in here as soon as camp's over.

-My God... -Love you, kiddo.

All right, glad to hear it.

You can move in here as soon as camp's over.

Love you, kiddo.

You wanna pick out some tunes for us?

How about that song you like... Um...

No, Mom, no. It's not about "friends."

He's with a singer.

"Ferxxo" with an X.

"Ferxxo"? Is he a big deal?

What color chair do you want for your game space?

Black or red?

Black is always classic. But then, you could also do two colors.

Live a little.

Don't worry 'bout it, Mom.

Right, the color's whatever, the most important thing is your comfort.

'Cause you'll be spending a lot of time in it. All your time.

Um...

Butterfly kiss me?

-No, Ma... Mom, stop, cut it out. -Dee-dee-dee!

Hon, you used to love that, right?

- -Babe, have a great day.

I love you!

I'll make him an epic game room. Epic.

I'll cook his favorite dinner every day. He'll get all the burgers he can handle.

He can watch endless Netflix.

He can watch any bullshit show he wants to.

-And forget about bedtimes. -Ah. Oh, fantastic.

We're going through a rough patch, he's a preteen, and that's normal!

Right?

I guess.

I'll do whatever it takes to keep him with me.

-It could be a learning experience, huh? -Learning's for dipshits.

Living with his dad might not be the worst thing.

-It means I failed as a mother. -No, that's not what it means, hon. It's...

Fine, I'll look for the damn chair.

-You mean it? -Yes. It'll be okay, babe, don't worry.

-I don't know shit about gaming. -Me neither, but we'll figure this out...

-Then start researching it! -Okay, gimme a sec, I'm on it.

God... What is it? A video game chair?

Rami. Look what I got you.

But I don't need it.

You do! It's on the packing list they gave us.

But Dad let me use his.

Ah... Maybe you can take mine in case that breaks.

You can't be too prepared. Come on.

Hey.

To have on the bus ride.

You're serious?

You're on vacation. Come on. Whoo!

Well, thank you.

-I've got underwear. -Yes, but these are boxers.

Didn't you say you were too old for briefs because you're 12 now?

Mama listens, am I right? Plus...

I put your name on the tags.

I packed my undies, I don't need more.

I know, but why not put some on top, in case you're in a big rush?

I won't be!

Please let me pack my backpack, by myself.

Fine, I'm sorry. I was just trying to help you.

Sorry, Rami...

Hey, you're gonna be gone for almost a week.

I'm gonna miss you, kid.

Don't shut me out here.

I wanna be in your life. Please, look at me.

We used to be best friends. You loved hugs and snuggles.

What happened to us?

Tell me what I can do to help you.

Just leave me alone. For once? Yeah?

Thank you.

You know, Rami, you can tell me about anything.

Like what?

Anything.

Actually...

I do wanna tell you something.

Let me pack my bags my own way. Don't tell me where to put my underwear.

And it's all the time.

It's like I always do everything wrong. Why can't I make my own choices?

-Because I've got 30 years on y... -You see?

These kids in my class say I'm a mama's boy.

That you treat me like a dog on a leash.

'Kay, who do I have to strangle?

Just kidding. Don't pay any attention to those idiots.

Mom, I... I wanna live my own life, make my own mistakes.

Can't you see that?

Mom, I'm gonna get some water. That okay?

Uh-huh.