The Office

Angela. What?

That was a voicemail that corporate left last night.

They did not get our tax forms.

Did you send them?

They arrived this morning.

Are you sure?

It is a big deal if... Is it a big deal?

Is it, Kevin?

Do you really not know?

Because it is a big deal.

Five of us transferred from Stamford.

There's two of us left. Me and Karen.

It's like we're touring Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory

and dropping off one by one.

Well, guess what?

I'm not falling in a chocolate river.

Everything okay?

It's fine. You are in the clear.

Thank you.

I don't want those.

Dwight, care to join us? Finally.

Thank you.

Hey, Dwight, pass the tardy sauce.

Get it, Michael? Yes.

Okay.

Here is the dream team.

My sales dream team.

Today we are going to team up for sales calls.

Andy, since this was your idea, you get to pick first.

Well, let me think about this for a minute.

Oh, I don't know. Michael Scott?

PhD. Doctor of sales.

Well, I appreciate that. That's very gracious of you.

Well, it is very gracious of you to accept. Well, thank you, sir.

Okay, now going by seniority.

Phyllis, our resident senior.

We're the same age.

And I'll pick Karen.

Oh, thanks.

Good.

Next up, the Super Fly himself, Stanley. Pass.

You can't pass. You gotta pick somebody.

I'll take the kid.

I'm very flattered. I was his second choice after pass.

So that just leaves Dwight and Jim.

Okay, wait. Does anyone want to trade?

Yeah, I'll trade.

Dwight and I used to go on sales calls all the time.

In fact, I have a picture to remember that time.

Oh, young Jim.

There's just so much I need to warn you about

and yet, tragically, I cannot.

Sebring by Chrysler.

A heck of a motor carriage.

Dwight! Yeah?

Here you go.

Yeah!

You want shirts on hangers? Please.

He does your laundry?

Long story.

All right, everybody, circle up!

Here we go.

You know what this is?

This is The Amazing Race.

And you guys are retired Marines, and you guys are the mother-daughter,

and you guys are the gay couple, and we are the firefighter heroes.

Are we ready to go? Wait.

Amazing Race, like, the biggest sale wins?

No. We're just gonna rush out, do the sales thing and come back.

Is there a prize? Just bragging rights.

Then how is this Amazing Race?

It's just...

It's Amazing Race, Phyllis, okay?

We're in teams of two and we're on a mission.

All right. So, on your mark. Get set. Go.

Let's do it. Come on!

Michael...

Do you have a pole?

Let's go get a broom.

Seriously, are you gonna sit in the back?

Yeah. It's the safest part of a car.

In the event of a crash, the driver always protects his side first.

Here we go.

In order to take down Dwight, I have to chip away at his ally.

In this case, Michael.

And here's the good news.

Every success I've ever had in my job or with the lady folk

has come from my ability to slowly and painfully wear someone down.

What's the deal with Dwight doing your laundry?

That is a long story.

A couple of months ago, Dwight tried to go behind my back with Jan

and get my job.

And I am now having him do my laundry as punishment.

Wow. That is a long story, but quite well told, Michael.

I find it very interesting.

Especially the part about Dwight going behind your back

and basically being, like, a terrible person.

You know, if you want your laundry done right,

I used to work at Abercrombie, so...

Pretty good folder.

Hey, Pam.

Would you like to go with me to grab a coffee?

Really? Yeah.

I thought you could use some fresh air and it might be fun.

Okay. Sure.

Okay.

Why are we turning in here? This is a beauty salon.

Hey, do you mind if I take the lead on this one

and then you can critique me after?

You want the lead?

Yeah, if you don't mind. Mind?

Nothing would delight me more.

Leave the keys.

You still do that thing? Leave the keys.

I think that you have assembled an amazing team at Scranton.

It's really a pleasure to be a part of it.

It's like everyone has their own special skill, you know.

Just like the Super Friends.

Except for Dwight, who's kind of more of a Super Dud.

I mean, he'd be a Super Friend if there was a Super Friend

whose super power was always being late.

You know?

Hawkman.

My plan is taking longer than I thought,

but I don't give up easily.

I have walked two marathons, so...

Let's go.

The men's room was disgusting.

After you, sir. No, thank you.

I never let anyone walk behind me.

Seven out of 10 attacks are from the rear.

Okay. Well, that still leaves a 30% chance that I'll attack you from the front.

Yeah, but it'll be easier to stop.

I can always block the blow. Or I can counter it...

Angela, you seem so happy.

I bet you wish you were like this all the time.

This friend of mine... Let's call her "Noel."

She missed this deadline turning something into corporate in New York.

But then this gallant gentleman, we'll call him "Kurt."

He drove all the way to New York and handed it in for her.

That's... I don't know.

I guess he just really likes her a lot.

Well, that's great.

Yes, it is.

Hello?

Hey.

Did you catch that up at Lake Wallenpaupack?

Yeah.

You know, I used to go up there all the time with my step-dad

and I never caught anything that big.

I caught an 80-pound shark off Montauk.

That's in the Hamptons.

My dad's got a 42-foot Bayliner.

Sniped it with a rifle from the crow's- nest.

Also shot a deer once.

You know what? Let's get right down to it.

Dunder Mifflin may be just two rooms and a warehouse,

but what we lack in flash,

we will make up for with hard work and decency.

Okay, this is the classic undersell.

Because you should know we don't work out of a log cabin.

We trade on the New York Stock Exchange. Ever heard of it? It's in New York.

I have to say I'm a little wary of getting involved with a big company.

We've had some problems in the past.

And I think what Andy is trying to express is that

while we have the resources of a large company,

we will give you the care and attention of a small company.

Man, that is like poetry.

I swear. No.

This guy could sell paper to a tree stump.

I'm so sorry, man.

I really screwed that up.

I really... No. Don't worry about it.

I really Schruted it.

What?

I Schruted it.

It's just this thing people say around your office all the time.

Like when you screw something up in a really irreversible way,

you Schruted it.

I don't know where it comes from, though.

You think it comes from Dwight Schrute?

I don't know. Who knows how words are formed.

Dunder Mifflin, this is Pam.

This is Pam.

I did?

Yeah, I did a watercolor of Francis Willard Elementary School

for a contest they were having.

They were calling with the results.

And I won.

I won. My painting won!

So I'd like to thank my mom for always encouraging me.

And I'd like to thank my dad for buying me my first set of art pencils.

And I'd like to thank the sixth-grade class that picked me.

It's a big order.

Thanks, Ken. Yeah, thank you.

Hey, how's Annie? She's great.

This is us last year in Bermuda.

Lovely place. You ever been to Bermuda?

Stanley Hudson. Julius, how's it going?

Great, great, great. Stanley, so good to see you.