Kickin' It

All right guys, stand back.

What's the big deal, Jack? You've done that a thousand times.

Wait for it.

Whoa!

Man, I'd give you a million bucks.

If you could do that to my cello.

Playas don't play the cello.

Well, you're not a playa.

I will be when I get rid of that dang cello.

I'm going to get a smoothie.

No no!

Don't you die on me, not now!

It's not your time!

What's going on in there?

Rudy's toilet's clogged again.

Poor myrtle.

I almost lost her.

Twice I had to plunge her back to life.

How do you know if a toilet's a boy or a girl?

You take the top off the tank,

- You reach your arm in, and you feel around... - Stop!

I think I'd rather hear about this.

In an awkward conversation with my father.

Rudy, focus.

The new owner of the mall's gonna be here any minute.

Hey, you guys gotta check this out.

These brochures are all over the place.

This new owner's making some big changes.

Wow, they finally moved the baby changing area out of the food court.

And if you ask me, that was a big step in the right direction.

No way! They're bringing in a Captain corn dog!

Oh snap! That's a classy joint.

Yeah, my sister got married in a Captain corn dog.

The Captain walked her down the plank himself.

Whoa, look at that huge new parking lot.

Wait a minute, where's our dojo?

There's a parking lot where our dojo should be.

Whoa.

- Mr. Turner, - Nice to meet you, Rudy.

- This is my son Arthur. - Hello, sir.

What a wonderful dojo you have here.

Let me ask you, how do you do it?

A Sensei, a businessman and obviously a male model.

Yeah, I know, totally.

It's because I'm... look at me.

Arthur, go make some friends while Rudy and I talk.

Yes, daddy.

You and Rudy go have a good talk, all right?

I'll just... I'll just be out here with the gang.

Okay okay. How are you doing?

So what do you losers this dump? Around.

Sit around and pretend to know karate?

Yo, pretend to know karate?

Check this out.

Go ahead, show him, Jack.

- Yeah. - Come on, Jack.

- Come on, dude. - You got this.

You got this, dude. Come on.

Yeah!

That was nothing.

You guys wanna see some real karate moves?

Watch this.

Uh-oh.

- What was that? - I can't believe it, sir.

That kid just busted up all your trophies.

Milton, you are in big trouble.

What? It wasn't Milton. It was Arthur.

Oh. Well, accidents happen.

Thank you for showing us.

What a dangerous place that is to keep trophies.

Now everyone, give our newest member Arthur.

A big Bobby Wasabi welcome.

What?

I love clapping. Whoo!

Ya ya ya! Ya!

- Hi-yah! - Ah!

- Kim, take it easy. - Sorry, Eddie.

I'm just so sick and tired of being looked at as just another pretty face.

Oh, welcome to my world, sister.

I mean, what's the point of being a reporter for the school tv station.

If Margaret bork thinks I'm just.

Some "airhead" Southern belle who can't do real news?

Oh man!

You guys should've seen what we just did.

It was a riot.

It was like taking candy from a baby.

That's what you actually did, Arthur.

You took candy from a baby.

Hey, could... could I get in on that?

Thanks.

Nothing tastes better than something stolen from a baby.

I don't get it, Rudy.

Why does Arthur have to join our dojo?

Why do we have to be his friends?

And why are you sitting on a toilet?

This new high-tech toilet is a gift from Mr. Turner.

So you're just throwing myrtle away?

After everything you put her through?

Oh please, myrtle's just an old flush bucket.

The magic was gone years ago.

We were just going through the motions.

Oh okay, I see what this is about.

You sold us out for a new toilet.

I saved our dojo.

When Mr. Turner was saying that Arthur was having a hard time making friends,

I jumped on it and said he could make friends right here.

Rudy, we don't want to be friends with him.

Friends are loyal. Friends have your back.

Now come on, just promise me.

That you'll try and make this Arthur thing work.

Fine.

If it means saving the dojo,

I'll give the spoiled little brat a chance.

See? That's the spirit.

Hey, Jack, check this out.

The evacutron 5000 is now ready for boarding.

Would you like your seat warmed?

If this thing could cook, I would totally marry it.

Apparently it can cook.

Your, uh, toilet waffles are ready.

- Are you sure you want to eat those? - No.

Not without syrup.

Ooh.

Margaret, come on.

There are so many important stories I could cover.

Kimmy, you're good at pretty, you're good at perky,

But you can't handle the big stories.

And that's why I'm the head reporter.

Here's your assignment.

Seriously?

I'm standing here with Mrs. Lubinski,

The teacher that fell asleep during detention.

And was swarmed by a gang of spit-ballers.

Any comments?

- Whoa, what's this? - It's a gift.

I know I've been a little bit of a jerk.

A little bit of a jerk?

That's like saying Jerry's a little bit confused.

What?

Wait, what'd I miss?

I'm confused.

Look, to show you that I'm not all bad,

I got you guys this brand-new.

State-of-the-art punching dummy.

You know what, Arthur? Maybe I had you wrong.

- That's a pretty cool move. - All right, that's more like it.

Now I think I should be the one to break this bad boy in.

Whoo!

Whoa!

Oh man, that was good!

See, I told you guys it was a punching dummy.

You get it?

It's on, dummy. It's on.

- That's it. - Jack, you can't do this.

You promised Rudy.

- But I didn't. - No, Kim.

- I want him all to myself. - No, Eddie.

This one's all me.

Wait, why can't Jack do this?

Guys, let's just start practice.

Whoa whoa whoa, Jack. I got this.

Since Rudy's not around and I outrank everyone,

I'll lead the class.

Are you nuts? You don't outrank Jack.

Really?

See, I don't know if you noticed,

But I'm a green belt.

Yeah, because your daddy bought it for you.

Jack, you don't know anything about karate.

You're nothing but a scrawny little skate rat.

And you're nothing but a spoiled little poser.

- Poser, huh? - Yeah.

That's it.

Whoa!

- Whoa! - You're gonna be sorry you did that!

- What is going on? - It's a good thing you're here, dad.

I was just saying my prayers and eating my vitamins,

And Jack threw me into this wall.

We had a deal, Rudy.

You said this was a warm, safe environment.

Where Arthur could learn karate and make friends.

Jack, did you throw Arthur into our wall of friendship?

They don't do that to just anyone.

They must really like you.

Don't you, Jack?

Rudy, I didn't want to fight him.

He just came right at me.

He came at you, you came at him...

It's like a big comin' at you party in here.

All right, back to practice, you loveable scamps.

- Yeah. - Rudy, this is unacceptable.

I want Jack thrown out of your dojo.

- What? - What?

Bye-bye, Jack.

I'm sorry, Mr. Turner, but that's not gonna happen.

Okay, then. You have two hours to get out.