Brews Brothers

Beer.

A wise man once said

that beer makes you feel the way you ought to feel without beer.

Couldn't agree more.

First one's on the house.

Uh, actually, I'm looking for the Accommodator.

Sorry. We don't have the Accommodator.

Yeah, it's not a beer. It's a dildo.

What? Why does everyone think this is a porn shop?

Well, we're in Van Nuys,

and you spelled "extreme" with triple X's, so...

Okay, because my last name is Rodman, and the beer,

as you will taste, is very extreme.

- This is my most drinkable ale. - Mmm!

It's called the Rod Guzzler.

Yeah.

Oh.

Oh!

- This is bright beer. Nothing fresher. - Bright beer.

- Okay. - Yeah.

Mmm! Incredible.

If you just sold dildos and fetish wear

like you advertise, this place would be a home run, Wilheim.

My name's Wilhelm.

My real name's Will, but I had it legally changed to Wilhelm,

in honor of the Bavarian duke responsible for the Reinheitsgebot,

which is the beer purity law of 1516.

Ooh, Chuy, Chuy, Ch-Chuy! Come here!

Come here. You gotta meet this guy.

Chuy used to work at the auto body shop next door,

and I poached him because he wanted a little career change.

I wanna be a businessman, so I watch him.

Oh, thank you, Chuy.

If I just do the opposite of whatever he does,

sky's the limit for me.

- Yeah. - Okay.

Hey, boss, tonight I'm throwing a tasting party

for my soccer buds.

Mind if I take home a little research?

Take whatever you want. You know that's the rule.

Thank you. Later, man.

What a great guy, right?

- Incredible. - He's a gem.

- You're lucky to have him. - Nope, drop it.

Oh, man.

Your car's being towed.

Oh, shit.

- Mm-kay. Bye. - Oh, shit.

- So sorry. See you again. - Bye, Ben. Nice meeting you.

- Bye! Okay. - Hope you get your dildo.

Stop letting Chuy take the booze.

Will, what are you doing?

LeBron James or Abe Lincoln?

Colonel Sanders.

Oh, my God, Will, get your shit together.

Everything is gonna be fine, okay?

The distributor's coming by today. He likes our beer.

- We're golden. Stop being a buzzkill. - Oh, my God. I...

I see how much you drink, okay? Nothing can kill your buzz.

Even your dog is day drunk.

So what? He's a little drunk.

- Friar Lucas knows when to say when. - Does he?

Come here. I got a question for you.

- Why did you put the darts on this side? - Ah, let me tell you why.

Ow!

I needed room for my latest genius promotion.

Ta-da, huh? Pretty good.

You take a growler home with you,

and then you get another one for free when you come back.

It's gonna catch on like wildfire.

I think it already has.

No, no!

No, hey, that is the wrong kind of growler.

You can't do that here!

Hey, the sign says I can.

"Take a growler, leave a growler." Same thing.

No, not my kind of growlers.

Please, get out of here.

Oh, no, no, no!

Yes. You see, to my point,

I'm taking a growler here, and this morning,

I left a growler there.

You see? Same thing.

- You need shoes. - It's sanitary.

I... don't need these anymore.

You have to promise me you will stop taking a growler!

But can I leave a growler?

I'm gonna give you my shoes, and you're gonna go, okay?

But that I could, my dear man.

Since the death of printed media, I'm at a loss for wipes, hmm?

Ever tried to wipe your ass with a Kindle?

No!

- Back to the statehouse, Senator. - Senator? What?

Ooh, Merrells.

The rock shoe of the white, urban climber.

Hmm. The hops are timid,

and there's a meek earthiness vying for attention.

Hmm.

Detecting a delicate bouquet of pine

with notes of citrus.

Possibly clementines?

He's good.

If the brewmaster remembered that he was making a beer

and not a smoothie, you might really have something here.

Unfortunately, the beer, much like the brewmaster himself,

smells like, as he would say, "Scheiße!"

- You can pour that out. - Hello, Adam.

- Nice to see you, too. - Hi.

Wait. Who's this guy?

- My brother. - Bring it in.

Oh, shit!

Family.

- Will, I didn't know you had a brother. - Yeah, I haven't seen Oxy in a long time.

Aww, that's a cute nickname.

Unless it's short for Oxycontin.

No, it's short for oxidation.

Oxidation destroys beer... and Adam destroys everything.

I can get you Oxy.

We should be so close.

Adam and I were adopted by farmers in beautiful Yakima Valley.

And as you know, that's where 70% of American hops are grown.

Nobody knows that, and nobody cares.

I'm actually angry that I know now.

Pipe down! I'm painting a picture.

Adam snuck me my first beer, and I thought it was horrible.

And that's when he said, "We can make it better."

The next few years,

we became the best beer-making duo around.

We even entered a beer contest.

You guys entered a beer contest when you were that young?

And we won.

- That's great. - Not great.

Adam really wanted to use his beer,

but I knew mine was better, so...

at the last minute, I switched them.

When he found out...

...he was pissed.

I will never work with you again.

Traitor!

And I never saw him again... till today.

Look, the guy makes really, really good beer.

- It's just that... - Will, like, come on.

You spent your money on a place that's way too big,

and there's barely any customers.

Um, by the way, boss, "taking a growler" means "to shit."

Where were you a week ago?

Whatever you think about your brother, if he makes amazing beer,

why not give him a shot?

So...

I have discussed it with my team, and we have decided

to let you work with us on the following conditions...

I accept.

We gotta make a lot of changes around here.

You gotta change the way you're marketing this place.

Yes, okay, great. That's exactly what we shall do.

Okay, let's get rid of that barrel, these menus.

- What? - Get rid of those games.

No chairs, no tables.

Send 'em back to the junkyard I assume you got them from.

Maybe board up these windows.

- Why? - 'Cause they look like shit.

Okay, pool tables and beer pong, here we come.

No, the opposite. We want this whole place to be stripped down.

We want people to be able to meditate on the beer.

I want our customers to see the way I prepare the grist for the mash tun.

- Oh, my God, he is worse than you. - Told ya.

And you guys could really stand to fix yourselves up a little bit.

Do you work here?

Yes.

Yes, Chuy, you work here.

- Yes! Yes. - Yes, you do. You do.

Okay, great. And you're wearing sandals in a brewery?

- Pool wear? - Yes.

- Yes. - All right.

There's something about you. I like you. Put your hair up, pull it back.

Make it more presentable.

Okay. Yeah, sure thing.

- Sick! Look at her ear. It's bad. - What?

- Y-Your ear is all messed up. - Oh, my God. Calm down.

It's just cauliflower ear.

Yeah, but it is gross. Looks like a dog chewed on it.

It stinks, too.

- It stinks? - It doesn't.

Sarah used to be an MMA fighter.

Yeah, and I had to retire after I got injured.

- Oh, my God. - It's an injury.

I bet people are so happy to not see that melted thing.

What? They love it, okay? They love me and my ear.

Okay.

- Bye. Bye. - Come on, we got shit to do.

Hello, hello. Welcome to Rodman's.

What can I get you?

Hi. Um, can I have a Stella?

We actually only serve our own beer here, so we don't have Stella,

but I'd be happy to find you something that is similar...

Sorry, you want a Stella?

No, Stella is the most unoriginal beer in the world.

So that means that you're the most unoriginal person in the world.

What about you? Hi, how are you?

- What are you thinking of having? - Do you have something like a Bud Light?