54

I'm not gonna bullshit you.

It was the greatest party in the history of the world.

My boss used to say, "the road of excess leads to the palace of wisdom."

Maybe it did.

One thing's for sure, it was the ultimate escape

from a fucked up city in a fucked up time.

But like any great escape, it never lasts.

One moment it's all around you

and the next, it's gone forever.

It was the late '70s, and everybody was screwed.

The recession, the mile-long lines at the station,

the hostage crisis in Iran.

When I look back at it now, it's crazy I can remember any of it.

It feels like flashes from somebody else's life.

We were all looking for a way out, some place to go,

some place to belong. Nobody knew where, especially me.

There I am, Shane O'Shea. I was 19 years old and I had nothing.

Now, my dad would say I had more than he did at my age,

but fillin' gas tanks at a Jersey City station,

goin' to the same dive with the same gang,

tryin' to pick up on the same chicks was not tons of fun.

Sorry.

I'm sorry.

It's just that-- look at you, you're so...

You wanna go out tomorrow?

I know this place where the pizza's dynamite.

What? I'm from Montclair, right?

And you're from Jersey City.

Yeah.

So I don't go out with guys from Jersey City.

Oh.

I knew the real place to be was right across the river.

But it seemed like another world.

I used to go there with my mom.

She did makeup for this TV show

and took me to work with her a couple times.

I loved being around the stars. It was like magic.

My mother always told me I could be anything I wanted to be.

Mom died when I was 12.

This was Dad. His idea of the good life

was a can of Schlitz and Carol Burnett on the tube.

I had to get out of there.

I had to make a change.

All right, all right, all right!

Move over.

What? What you laughin' at?

What's with the hair? What do you got, the new look?

Look at this guy! Look at this guy! Where's my hair?

What are you talkin' about? You look like Vidal Sassoon.

If you don't look good-- We don't look good.

Shit. I should have borrowed my brother's platforms.

Do I look short? No, you look all right. Fix your collar.

I don't know, man.

You better have put on new underwear. Get the fuck outta here!

Hey, you guys, you guys, you guys.

Before we go in, check it out.

Oh, take me home ba-- Who are they?

That's Julie Black from All of My Children. She's my fuckin' dream girl.

Julie Black. She's from Alpine. My aunt does her ma's hair.

Saw her once, too, hangin' out at the Alpine Inn.

Alpine Inn? We should stake her out.

Where was this taken, anyway?

54.

You know, Studio 54. Ain't you never heard of it?

That place is full of freaks. And girls.

And fags. Come on, you guys.

Listen, you know who was there last night? Jacqueline Bisset.

You know who she is? Yeah, I fucked her.

All right, you turkeys can stay here and rot, for all I care,

but I'm gonna go see if I can get a look at Olivia.

Olivia Newton-John?

Ow-oooh! We ain't there yet?

Fuck you, Jersey!

Shit.

We'll save you a place in line. Hey, wait!

You m-- You gonna leave me here with these freaks?

Oh, my God. Hey!

Step back.

Hey!

I can't let you in here. You're wearing an ascot. You look like an asshole.

No. Go home. Sorry. No.

- Hey, come on! - Over there.

That's us. Go in, go in.

Excuse me. Excuse me, he just pointed at us.

Okay, just you. What? Say what?

Just you, not him.

Ladies-- Hey, man, he's my friend. You can't--

Girls, please, stand back, please. Step back, please.

Step back.

Oh, my God. Don't be a spaz, man. Go for it.

All right, but don't wait for me. I'll find my way home.

- Okay, you guys, come on. - Go in, go in.

No, not you.

Please. Hey! Take your fuckin' hands off me, you jive-ass turkey!

Fuckin' gorilla! Fuck you! Sorry, guy.

Steve! Hey, Steve! What?

Not with that shirt.

Hey!

I said, not with that shirt.

That's your ticket in, man.

You're hot!

That's how you get in. Welcome to my party, handsome.

Go for it, Shane!

You wanna check that bod, sugar?

Mirror, mirror on the wall.

Who's the fairest of them all?

Truman? Truman Capote, where are you?

Here, sugar! There you are.

In honor of your fantastic new face lift,

I thought I'd get you a couple of things.

And-- and to make sure that the lift sticks,

I thought we should all "Knock On Wood."

Whooo!

¶ I better knock, knock knock on wood

Well, the thing about stars is, they're short.

You talk to any of 'em? Kind of.

Like who? Who?

Like-- I don't know, but you should have seen all the photographers.

I bet you I even got in one of their pictures.

Think Farrah ever goes there? Maybe.

And Lee Majors? Probably.

What about Princess Grace? Sure, I bet she goes all the time.

Really? Maybe we can touch her when she goes by.

- And we'll tell her that Mom named us after her. - Hey, kids!

Hey, Dad.

Hey, baby. What? Hey, Dad, can I borrow the keys tonight?

What for? Shane was in the city last night and he wants to go back.

The city? Yeah, Shane was just telling us

how he went to Studio 54 last night.

Studio 54? That's that big disco everybody's talking about.

Where all the stars go. Yeah, Dad, you shoulda seen it.

Hey, I saw a star once-- Bob Hope.

Did you see him there?

Thanks for the memories, Dad, but it wasn't a Korean War show.

So Shane, tell him about that black lady you danced with.

Yeah, she was up on this bridge, singing

and she looked right down at me.

A negro? Yeah.

What else, Shane? Well, I went up into the balcony.

It was pretty--

It was pretty... dark.

Outside the compound they were burning an effigy

of President Carter.

They were chanting, "Death to Carter."

He's right out there in the hallway if you want to see him for yourself.

He's gorgeous? Gorgeous? He's gorgeous. Look for yourself.

What's two plus two? Huh?

You'll be fine. You're right, he's gorgeous.

Come on in.

Where do bad little bartenders go if they don't go to hell first?

Xenon. Right. A fate worse than death.

So, as of tonight,

the new bartender will be...

Rhett. Choice.

Oh, and we got a new busboy. His name is Shane.

Shane! Shane, come here, come here.

Couldn't find the right size.

And remember, it's you boys who are truly

New York's finest.

One Chablis. Hey, kid!

Chablis. So, uh, what'll it be?

What'll it be?

Where did they get you, Rocky? Philadelphia?

No talkin' to the animals, busboy.

Hang in there, baby.

Greg, man, can you help me please?

This is how it works.

Keep the bottles and the glasses off the dance floor.

Now, remember, keep the champagne cold, and keep it flowing.

You gotta pay attention to the V.I.P. area.

Steve doesn't want 'em ever to have to pour champagne themselves.

Now, listen up.

After everybody's all gone, you check the banquettes.

We usually find some pretty good stuff.

Is that Julie Black?

Think so. Ready? Yeah.

Hey, Fiorucci! How are you?

You know, I'm such a big fan of yours. Your windows are great.

Grazie. Thank you. Great.

You're so Italian and adorable, I wanna eat you with a spoon.

Come.

I really gotta get out of here and get some sleep, I swear.

Hey. Hey, Stevie! Hey, pussycat.

Hey.

Pleasure doin' business with ya, paisano.

Thanks. All right. All right? No problem.

You know, I'd say it was this big.

Oh, stop. No, at least.

Did you get his number? It ain't the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean.

Did your mother teach you that? His father.

He sounds kinda defensive to me.

Hey, I think we're freaking the new kid out.

Hey, how'd you do tonight? Good. I made quite a bit, I think.

He doesn't mean the tips. You went up to the balcony with Patti, hmm?

Word gets around fast, I guess.

So, did she do the accent? Um, so how was she?

Really great, you know. She's a model.

Really? Have we seen her in anything?

- Yeah, Vogue. - French Vogue.

Yeah, she told me Cosmo.