Popcorn

Have you got the tickets?

Hey, sis.

How can a girl like that be going out with a guy like him?

I mean, she's fit and he's not.

- Must be her brother. - Her gay brother.

Or maybe not.

- Probably just minted. - Maybe he has a very large cock.

What?

I'm not nine.

And he might.

Where'd you learn to speak like that?

Films.

Next.

Next.

- I think I'm in love. - Yeah, but this one's real.

I know.

Which means you might actually have to talk to her.

I know...

But I think I have a plan.

Screen one.

Screen seven. Screen nine.

Screen twelve.

Screen nine.

That was not talking to her.

Yeah, but did you see how she said "Screen nine" to me?

Okay.

Don't worry...

I think I have a plan B.

Popcorn - No Escurinho do Cinema -

Danny!

Lo!

Hey, I'm Kris. I'm the assistant manager here.

Get into the lift and come up to the fourth floor.

We'll get you both started. Welcome to Movie World.

Okay. I need you two to fill in one of these forms...

and then I'll take you on a tour.

Carl's Pizza.

The number must have changed. All right.

That's Carl, team leader.

- Is Max about yet? - Nah.

Follow me.

These corridors line the entire building...

and interconnect all the other areas of the complex.

They're all pretty badly designed and unsigned.

Try not to get lost.

Okay. Now, this place will become the centre of your existence.

Let me present the staff room.

Jeannie.

Most of Jeannie.

Does it fit?

In all the right places. And one wrong one.

Nice.

It's part of a promotion we're doing for a movie.

But not till tonight.

Most people think that cinemas are in the film business...

and make a little extra selling popcorn. But they're wrong.

Cinemas are in the popcorn business.

Films are just a way to get people coming through the door.

And if you give any away free, you're fired.

Now. Although not our core business...

you'll be required to know a little bit about each film...

that is playing at any one time.

This week we have eight different films...

playing at 14 separate screens.

Film one: Comedy. Keep It Simple, Stupid.

Two word review: Simple, stupid.

Film two...

Another Night Under The Stars. Romantic drama.

Actually, that one's pretty good.

Three-piss picture, if ever I saw one.

Kat has her own rating system.

The more times she remembers to urinate during a film, the worse it is.

Looks a bit lanky to me.

I think he looks really clever.

I get it. Clever guys are more creative...

you get more oral.

Sometimes the bastards even get it right.

I don't understand. Do you like men or hate men?

I hate men. But I like cock. That's the problem.

Do you always have to swear?

There's nothing wrong with swearing. It's legal. It's just not...

lady like.

But you swear at work. And they let you.

Yeah. That's cos I'm smart.

Here, I only ever swear in accordance with the film certificate.

Right, some kid comes in for a U movie, I say nothing.

If it's a PG, then I use words that have got double meanings, like...

"muff", "hoe", "toss", "stick", "pussy"...

If it's a 12, then I occasionally throw in a "shit".

If it's a 15, I give them the odd "fuck".

If it's an 18, then I say whatever dirty, nasty, sleazy smut I like...

especially if I like the guy.

You should give it a try, it's incredibly empowering.

With your stuck-up accent, you'll have blokes lining up around the block...

to hear some posh girl talk dirty to them.

Shut up.

You dirty ho.

Yeah, nice try, but I am over 18.

You really dirty ho.

Yeah, you're gonna have to keep trying. On someone else.

Now, the two big films that are opening head-to-head tonight...

are Sarah's Highly Innocent Teenage Exploration...

and The Indestructible Terror.

Sex versus violence.

The first, billed as the most sexually explicit mainstream movie ever made.

The second, the most violent.

So great, Kat pissed herself...

twice.

Finally, we have Projection.

- Hi, Kris. - Florence.

Just showing the new boys around.

- Anything else? - No, that's it.

Great.

Hi. I'm Zak, one of the projectionists.

And this is Florence...

the other one.

Up here we get the prints, splice them and project them.

At the moment this is all done on film.

Beautiful 35mm celluloid.

Used to be we used to have to change the reels every 20 minutes.

Now we just stick them all together and put them on here.

But...

from next year, all projectors will be digital...

like this tester. Then all we have to do is this.

Right.

Is there anything I need to know today, boss?

No.

No.

No. No.

Oh, no.

No, no, no.

Yeah?

We're done. Carl asked me to come and get you.

Fine. That's good. I'll be right in.

I have no real rules.

I like to run a relaxed house.

If you want to get on my good side, don't be a yes man.

If I say "No", I like you to say "No" too.

Warn the others.

Who d'you think it is?

Okay, your duty rosters.

Katerina, Annie, Jeannie: Box office...

obviously. Siggy, Andrea: Ice cream.

Bobby, Leah: Pick 'n' mix.

Lo, Mark: Concessions.

Matt, Eve: Cleaning, usher one to seven.

Danny...

Suki: Cleaning, usher eight to 14.

And if you manage to catch any screamers...

bring them to me.

Wear these.

We need to check if anyone's recording the film.

Have we met?

Sorry?

You look really familiar.

Real lesbians are really different from screen lesbians, aren't they?

Take it like a woman, you bitch.

I suppose. But then...

aren't real people really different from screen people anyway?

What's a screamer?

A kid who runs in a screen, screams really loudly and then runs out again.

Why?

Fun.

Is it getting hot in here?

Yeah.

They're upping all the temperatures...

in all the screens that are showing Teenage Exploration.

It's to make the audience think that they're more into it.

Is it getting hot in here?

What is it with guys and porn?

It's not porn, it's art.

It says so on the poster.

Oh, so it's well-lit porn?

No.

That's erotica.

As opposed to studio-funded, hypocritical exploitation?

I think you'll find it's called Teenage Exploration.

Is it about a 16-year-old Catholic schoolgirl...

who decides to sexually experiment...

with boys, girls, whips, chains and small animals...

for a school project?

Okay, so it's exploitation.

But you do need to take a look.

- What's that... - No, no, no. Not the film.

Not even that film.

What?

What is it?

I think the boy's in serious love.

Don't do anything. Please. Don't do anything.

Men. Why is it always about sex?

Come on. You need to react a little more.

Stand straighter. Just relax.

- Suki? - Yeah?

- Suki. - Danny.

Suki.

Suck my dick, you dirty whore.

- Suki. - How about I just go down on you?

- I... - You know you like it.

What I wanted to say was...

Anal sex doesn't hurt as much as you think.