Transparent

Josh: Hey. Sarah: What's going on?

Where is she?

She's in the back breaking child labor laws.

What is so urgent?

Shelly: Your grandma

might just become an elected official.

Hi, joshie.

Hi. Hi. Come here, tushy.

Can we talk? Oh, hi, baby doll.

Hey, sarie, did you tell joshie

that I'm running for a seat on the condo board?

Hey, I need to talk to you. I haven't had a chance yet.

And I am putting these monsters to work.

I'm building my campaign

around cleaning up that horrendous duck pond.

Mom. She's, uh...

You're not gonna... you're just going to have to spit it out.

Your task, should you choose to accept it...

Hey! Is that you...

I need to speak to you not in front of children.

You want to do this right here, or do you want to...

I forgot. I forgot.

You forgot?

Yeah.

That I had a kid?

Mom, you have known about Colton

for 17 years. Oh, please.

I mean, other things were going on.

Every day you kids had some mishegoss or another.

And your father was diddly...

Doing god knows what at that cross-dressing camp.

I was... I was all alone.

I can't get those years back.

You don't seem to understand that.

I put Colton out of my mind.

I put him out of our world

to protect you, Josh.

You have no idea how difficult it is

to be a parent, right, sarie?

Wow. Okay. Okay.

Okay.

You think I was so terrible?

I didn't beat you.

I kept you fed.

You had a credit card.

You had a credit card. You know... wait.

Other people throw babies in dumpsters.

They raise kids, right?

They raise kids in closets.

You guys had it pretty good.

I'm sorry. I have to go take a shower.

Oh, now she's going to go out.

I love you.

Ali: It ends with an essay question.

And the prompts? Look at them.

They are, I mean, dumb.

"Please expand upon the way your work relates to society

in a larger historical context."

Okay.

What about this?

What if you replace the word "work"

with the word "cunt"?

Then you have a really great essay.

You mean like "please expand upon the way

your cunt relates to society."

By Ali pfefferman.

Should I be asking Leslie what she thinks?

I mean, yeah,

I'm sure she has a lot of opinions about your cunt.

You know, it couldn't hurt to ask her, right?

Or it could hurt to ask her,

and I should just be, like,

a serious, independent thinker

who wants to go to graduate school.

All right.

Run it by me.

Okay.

Okay, so there's this thing

that I've been googling

that I think is super interesting,

which is called... which are called Jew shoes.

You're wowing me.

I'm not telling you.

No, just tell me.

You are not...

No, no, no, no. Okay, Jew shoes.

Jew shoes. It's a real thing from back in the old days

where they used to make Jewish women

wear these horrible shoes.

One was red, and one was black,

and they had bells on them

so that you could hear them coming.

That's what your essay's going to be about?

Yes.

No?

It shouldn't be about that?

Well, now I'm completely embarrassed.

Well, you should be.

Well... ... i think you should be.

Come on. It's a great idea.

I think you're the one who's really embarrassed.

By what? I can't think of one thing you could do to embarrass me.

I think this situation here really embarrasses you...

No. God, I just...

I think especially when I do that. Mm!

It really embarrasses you.

I don't think so. So much, it...

Embarrassing!

Stop it. Stop...

Ow! Ha ha ha ha!

Ow.

Raquel: My mom is the same way.

She just does not admit shit.

It's hard because you're looking for a parent,

and they're just not...

Oh, I'm not even looking for a parent.

I'm just looking for a fucking human being.

Oh, honey. You know?

Like, how ridiculous would it be

if they actually told the truth?

Like... I know.

I can't stop thinking

about what it would be like

if they hadn't fucked with my life.

I guess one could argue

that if they hadn't lied to you...

That maybe you wouldn't be in this room

trying to fold your t-shirts across...

From... from the most amazing human being that I've ever met,

who is inspiring a huge boner in me right now.

Your honor, permission

for said boner to approach the bench.

May... may... may I, your highness?

I think...

Um...

Babe, uh, there's some...

Something's on your back.

Want me on my back? No, no, no, no.

It's just like some spots or something,

but it kind of... Where?

Mm, looks a little bit like measles.

Maybe it's measles.

There's no measles, but I'm just saying...

God, it's, like, everywhere.

It's probably something that you ate

because it looks like a rash

or, you know, people have a reaction...

Let me call Dr. Susan just because I don't know...

Don't touch them. I don't want to be contagious.

All right. Okay.

Oof. Well, that was hot.

Oh, it's hot.

I'm going to get up all over that rash.

I'm going to get up on it.

Maura: You understand what I'm saying?

Shea: Yes. I do understand.

Just overlap a little bit.

Okay, so you want to do another layer?

Or not? I think we should.

I think... really?

Can you hand me a noodle?

I never thought I would live to say that.

So, um, I told you that I went to Dr. venti...

I cannot say that doctor's name. Ventmiglia.

And she gave me this drug called lupron.

It's a t blocker. Uh-huh.

It's a testosterone blocker.

Oh, like spironolactone.

Yes. So she said

that I might have less of a sex drive.

That's one possible side effect,

but also my body hair might thin,

and I will soften out.

Yes. That's exactly... Is that all true?

Well, yeah, and you got to be careful.

Why? Well, because

it's possible things might not work

as well as they used to work. Do you know what I mean?

Yes. I understand. So just be careful.

I'd rather be horny and hairy,

quite frankly. Yeah.

Well, you're just saying that

because your man's getting out.

That's true. Well, I'm good with that.

I'm just focusing on...

Moi.

Good. You don't need to be focused

on anyone but yourself right now.

Are we layering these the right way?

Yeah, but you have to put...

Yes, yes. It looks great.

Basil there and basil there. That's good.

I have a question.

Is it okay to stay in the turret

when sal's here? Of course it is.

Why would you even ask something like that?

Don't start that. Because I don't know.

Oh, don't be ridiculous.

Maybe you and sal want to have more...

We'll be fine. Room to express yourself,