Hammer House of Horror

Pills!

Pills!

There we are. 42 Coleman Road.

There's no sale board up.

No, well, it's been on the market quite a while.

Conventional mortgages are rather tricky on these older properties.

Well, beggars can't be choosers.

I think it'll do very well.

Shall we go inside?

She'll be all right in the car.

Stay there, darling. We won't be long.

We're just going to go in the house with Mr Powers. All right?

It needs rather a lot doing to it, I'm afraid.

That's all right. I don't mind, as long as the price is right.

Yes, of course. House prices are ridiculous these days,

especially to first-time purchasers.

I've even managed to get a job in the area, too.

Splendid.

Well, now, we'll just check the particulars.

Just one child, isn't it?

Mm. Sophie.

An impressionable age, I always think.

She's very quiet.

Yes, well, this all seems in order, Mr Peters.

Not exactly

shipshape condition, but I'm sure there'll be no problem of a loan on

this particular property.

I hope you'll be very happy here.

Yeah, yeah, all right. Over to me a bit. Take it round a bit.

Timmy.

You promised.

That's right. I promised.

- (Screams) - Sophie!

Mummy! Mummy!

- It's all right. - What is it?

- The wall. - (Sobbing)

It's all right. It's all right. Sh! Sh!

- (Emma) She says it's blood. - Blood?

Someone’s got a vivid imagination, haven't they?

I expect it's iron or rust.

God alone knows what you've done to the gas.

It's leaking all over the bedroom - the gas tap. I couldn't turn it off.

There's nothing.

No gas. Nothing.

But there was. I know there was. It was...

- Look. Nothing. - But I couldn't get it to stop.

- Oh, hello. - Hello.

I'm Jean Evans. I live just across the road.

I thought you might like a cup of tea.

- How lovely. Come in. - Thank you.

William!

Come through into the kitchen.

By the way, I'm Emma.

We're in a terrible mess, I'm afraid.

- I don't envy you. - Yes, there's a lotto do.

Excuse me a minute.

William!

Come down.

Your tea break's arrived!

Ooh, how lovely. You are kind. Thank you.

Oh, this is my husband.

- Hi. William Peters. - Hello. Jean Evans.

- I do hope you don't think I'm butting in. - Oh, good Lord, no.

Do you know, I read that moving house is the biggest upheaval

you'll ever have in your life.

It's much more stressful than something like changing jobs,

a death in the family, or getting a divorce.

I don't think I fancy any of those.

Not today, at any rate.

Oh, so much needs doing.

You get the feeling

that you'll never get straight in a million years.

Hey.

Look at this.

That's not ours, is it, darling?

Oh no, I didn't say it was.

But if there's a spare one going, we might as well use it.

Clear the decks.

Oh.

It must have belonged to the last people, I suppose.

- Did you know them? - Me?

Me? No, not really.

Oh, what about Sophie?

She doesn't drink tea.

Milk. I'll take her some milk.

Why don't you come upstairs with me and meet Sophie?

Urn, rules of the house.

No-one's allowed to go upstairs empty-handed.

Oh. Fair enough. What shall I take?

Well, you can load me up with blankets and you can bring the milk.

Shall I get the milk?

Ooh, and d'you think you could get the pillow as well?

- Yes. - Thanks.

Thank you.

Oh, very good. You look like a Sherpa going up Everest.

I am.

Are you all right?

Oh, I'm sorry. It's just that I didn't see that there before.

on, that.

I just found it. Down there in the cupboard where the tablecloth was.

I'm going to collapse if I stand here much longer.

I'm coming.

- This is Sophie. - Hello, Sophie.

- I've brought you up some milk. - Sophie, darling,

say hello to Jean.

Oh, dear. She talks more to the cat than she does to us.

Oh, they all go through a phase.

Come along, then. Got to make your bed up, haven't we?

Can I do anything to help?

Oh, you could just shove that lot in there. At least they'll be out of sight.

How's Timmy now, darling?

He doesn't like it here.

Oh, dear.

Well, he'll soon get used to it, don't worry.

You haven't clone any unpacking, have you?

And you know your night-light's in there somewhere, don't you?

And you know what an old fusspot you are about it.

Look.

Oh.

How many more of these are we going to find?

Hey, look!

Snap. We've got a pair.

What are you trying to do?

Kill me?

What are you looking at?

The really nice thing about people who've just moved in

is that they don't have time to put their curtains up.

You're a dirty old man.

I wouldn't say old.

Well, she'd better put something on. She'll freeze to death in that house.

Wrong again.

Come on. That's quite woken me up.

You'll be queuing up for blue movies next.

Why should I want to do that?

Well, that's that.

Hm?

- What's the matter? - Nothing.

It's just that... Well, what were those sword things...

- What? - What were they doing there?

I thought the police took everything away.

How should I know? Come to bed.

Poor things.

They obviously don't know.

- There's no reason why they should. - They're bound to find out.

Eventually, yes,

but for goodness' sake, let them settle in first, love.

Now, come to bed.

Morning! Want a lift?

Morning. I'm George Evans. Where are you off to?

Morning. I'm starting work today at the hospital. St Stephen's.

Oh, it's on my way. I can easily drop you off. Jump in.

Thank you.

What's your line of work, then?

Not a brain surgeon, by any chance, are you? (Laughs)

Not yet. No, I'm not sure myself.

I used to be a steward on a cruise liner, but that's no sort of life.

No? All that sunshine, and beautiful girls lying around a swimming pool?

- Do me a favour! - Yeah, well, that side of it's OK.

No, with Sophie growing up and, well, me always away from home...

This is the only kind of job I could get around here.

To tell you the truth, I'm not even sure what hospital porters do.

They wheel dead bodies around most of the time, I should imagine.

Oh, great! Cut myself shaving, I'm out like a light.

There you are. Now, off you go and find Timmy.

And when you find him,

tell him from me he's to carry his own cat food from the supermarket

from now on.

Mind you don't spill it, darling.

Timmy.

Timmy.

Timmy.

Timmy.

Timmy.

Timmy.

Timmy.

Oh, God! Get something!

It's all right, Sophie. It's all right.

It's all right. Stop it, darling.

Stop it. It's all right. It's all right!

Sh!

It's all right now. It's all right.

It's all right.

Poor Timmy.

You're just going to stay in Mummy's bed with Mummy,

and we'll look after each other, OK?

Stupid cat.

She loved that bloody cat.

Well, you know how sorry we both are.

Emma's taken one of the pills the doctor left. I think it's the best thing.

Sophie?

Oh, she went off hours ago, poor little thing.

Why? That's what I keep asking myself.

I mean, cats aren't stupid, so why does ours have to be?

I didn't even know the damn window was broken.

She thought the world of the blessed thing.

- You could get her another one. - Oh, try telling that to Sophie.

Yeah, that's silly. I'm sorry.