Tremors

Good morning, Mr. Basset. This is your wake-up call.

Please move your ass.

Stampede!

Stampede, Earl! Get out of the way! Get out of the way!

You dumb shit.

I was in a stampede once.

Three hundred head going hell-bent for the horizon.

Now, exactly how many cows are required for a stampede, Earl?

I mean, is it like three or more? Is there a minimum speed?

I wish a stampede up your ass.

No breakfast?

I did it yesterday. It was bologna and beans.

No. It was eggs.

I did eggs, over easy.

The hell you did. Bologna and beans. It's your turn.

Well, I guess when I'm your age, I'll forget what I eat, too.

Oh, God damn it!

I ask you, is this a job for intelligent men?

Show me one. I'll ask him.

I mean, if we were real serious about money, we'd quit being hired hands...

Handymen, Earl. We are handymen.

Yeah, yeah. We should quit this job and find ourselves some real employment.

Are you gonna give up all this personal freedom?

I don't know.

Freeway!

So, what's on the agenda for today?

- It's garbage day. - Oh, man! Already?

Hey, what's Nestor paying us?

50 bucks. And that's 47 bucks more than we got.

Burt and Heather's place is closer.

Let's do their linoleum today and do the garbage tomorrow.

Nestor's not home tomorrow.

Now, look, we don't dig today, we don't get paid today.

Now, damn it, Valentine, you never plan ahead.

You never take the long view.

I mean, here it is Monday, and I'm already thinking of Wednesday.

It is Monday, right?

Hey, who the hell's that?

That's not what's-his-name, the grad student?

- No. He graduated. Must be the new one. - The new one?

That's supposed to be a girl.

You will have long, blonde hair,

big, green eyes, world-class breasts,

ass that won't quit and legs that go all the way up!

Hi! I'm Rhonda. Rhonda LeBeck. I'm up here for the semester.

- Yeah, geography. - Geology.

Yeah, well, actually seismology. Earthquakes.

And you two must be Val and Earl.

- I've heard all about you. - We deny everything.

Hey, listen, I've got a question for you.

Do you know if anybody's doing any drilling or blasting

or anything like that?

Around here? No, ma'am.

Well, I'm supposed to monitor the seismographs.

You know, they measure vibrations.

Vibrations in the ground.

Yeah.

Well, I've been getting some really strange readings.

I mean, the school's had these machines up here for three years,

and we've never recorded anything like this.

Well, we'll ask around. You know, see if anyone's heard anything.

Thanks.

God, I hope they're not broken. I might have to bag the whole semester.

Anyway, sorry to bother you.

No problem.

Nice meeting you. Hope you get it all sorted out.

You know, if you wanted, we could take a look at those

seismographs for her if you want.

What the hell do we know about seismographs?

Nothing.

It sure might be a slick way to get to know her.

Why?

Damn it, Valentine.

You don't go for any gal unless she fits that stupid list of yours from top to bottom.

- Well, sure! - Yeah, and it's dumber than my hind end.

I mean, like that Bobby Lynn Dexter.

Tammy Lynn Baxter.

It don't matter. They're all the same, dead weight.

"Ooh! I broke a nail!"

Makes my skin crawl.

Well, I'm a victim of circumstance.

I thought you call it your pecker.

Hey, pizza face!

Melvin?

Melvin! You touch that truck and die.

Oh, man, I'm really shaking.

Thanks, Walter.

Look, these are hollow points, but they're not Hydrashok hollow points.

Excuse me, I thought bullets were bullets.

Hi, guys. What you been doing?

We ran into that new college student, that Rona.

Rhonda. Yeah, she's having trouble with her, uh,

uh, things.

You know, those college kids turn up oil or uranium or something out there.

Next thing the feds will be at our door. "Sorry. Time to move. Eminent domain."

Down, honey. Down.

Yeah, Burt. The way you worry,

you'll have a heart attack before you get a chance to survive World War lll.

We'll see. We'll see.

Hey, guys, listen. Bearing going out.

- What do you think? - Could be.

Catch you later, Chang. We got a schedule to keep.

Oh, yeah. See, we plan ahead.

That way we don't do anything right now. Earl explained it to me.

Cocktail?

You bet.

Well, I'll tell you.

Nobody handles garbage better than we do.

Yep.

Oh, come on, Earl. Now this is low.

We have got to set our sights a little bit higher.

Hey, Melvin, why don't you give us a hand? Most of this shit is yours anyway.

Listen, run down to the store and pick me up a six-pack. I'll pay for it.

Son, beer is for adults.

You know, not having a plan is what keeps us doing jobs like this.

Just doing jobs like this is you dragging your feet.

Are you gonna stand there and tell me, in broad daylight,

that I'm the reason we're still in Perfection?

You know how close I am to leaving this place right now?

I'll call that little bluff. How close?

- Shit! - God damn!

Jesus Christ! God damn!

Don't forget the TV.

Hey, what's that vacuum cleaner for, man?

I like this vacuum cleaner.

- Hell, you never use it. - Well, it's good for parts.

And, besides, maybe we'll hire a maid. Now had you thought about that, Earl?

Get in the truck.

Guys!

Hey, guys, wait!

Hi.

Sorry, Nancy. We're not delivering firewood anymore.

- We're heading for Bixby permanent. - Oh, sure.

Oh, my God. You really are!

Hey, Mindy, what's the count?

Six hundred and forty.

Guys, look, I don't need firewood.

I have this big order to fill, and I have to build my new pottery kiln.

Come on, it'll be at least a month's work.

I'll throw in lunches.

And beer.

I can't believe we said no to free beer.

We did it! We did it! We faced temptation and did not bend!

God damn! Praise the Lord!

Now there's nothing, and I mean nothing, between us and Bixby but nothing!

- Yeah! - Yeah!

Hey, look at that guy!

Oh, that's one job I'd never do. Working around electricity.

Hey, hold up.

That's Edgar Deems.

Come on.

No. He only wears that one damn jacket.

That's him, I'm telling you.

Man, oh, man, he sure must've been drunk this time.

Edgar, get your butt down from there!

Well, shit.

We can't leave him up there.

Thank you, Edgar.

You owe me on this one, you damned old boozehound.

One of these days, you're gonna have to get your ass on a wagon and stay there.

Jesus! It's not like I don't have better things to do

than to climb towers and drag your hairy ass down.

Jesus Christ!

Was it a heart attack, Doctor?

No.

He died of dehydration. Thirst.

Well, that doesn't make any sense. That takes a couple of days, doesn't it?

Maybe even three or four.

You mean he sat up there three or four days?

He sat up there and just died of thirst?

Hmm.

You reckon he hated Perfection more than us?

Do you suppose he wanted to kill himself?

Come on. Somebody must've chased him up there.

What, you mean someone who ain't scared of a Winchester rifle?

Then what'd they do?

Camp out down below and just wait for him to die?

What the hell?

What the shit?

Hey, Fred!

Hey, there, old Fred!

Hey, Fred!

Fred!

This is weird. This is real weird.

Jesus!

What the hell's going on?

I mean, what the hell is going on?

Everybody get the hell out of here! There's a killer on the loose!

- What? - A murderer, man! A real psycho!

He's cutting people's heads off.

I'm not kidding!

They're pulling our chain.

Yeah.

What?

Shit.

Howard! Howard!

Carmine?

Who could be doing it?

I'm not accusing anybody.

I'm just saying, some of my cattle are missing.