It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia

Fxx presents it's always sunny in Philadelphia.

¶ Go for it, go for it, go ¶

¶ go for it, go for it, go ¶

¶ go for it, go for it, go. ¶

¶ go for it, go for it, go. ¶

go for it, go for it.

Well, somebody's chipper this morning.

Oh... you guys were there all this time?

I didn't see you.

Yeah, we just didn't want to interrupt

your morning routine.

Is doing cocaine every morning your routine, frank?

Yeah. Hey, frank,

how's wolf cola doing?

Funny you should ask.

I'm selling it to the Jews

in boca raton.

They're slurping it up

like candy. They're...

I'm telling you, they're addicted.

If I recall, wolf cola used to just be, like,

a money laundering front.

Well, it was, but I'm selling it now by the truckload.

I mean, they can't get enough of it.

It's become the official drink of boca raton.

Why do you ask?

Well, just 'cause of this.

The group released

another video today.

Preliminary investigations

have revealed that wolf cola may in fact be

an American soda company, although how and why boko haram

has adopted it as their official soft drink

is unknown at this time.

We'll keep you updated on this story as it develops.

Boca raton, frank?

Or the official soft drink of boko haram?

Whoops.

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how do you confuse a city in Florida

with a terrorist organization in Africa?

It's an easy misunderstanding.

It is if you're an elderly cokehead,

trying to launder money through a dummy

soda corporation.

This is bigger than cola, Dee.

This is gonna touch all of frank's fluids.

My god, there are other fluids?

Yeah, wolf cola, some nip boba drink...

Fight milk.

Fight milk?! Fight milk?!

Yeah. Wait, wait, dude, that's our drink.

You've been selling that?

It's selling like crazy

with the ufc guys.

Ufc fighters are drinking fight milk? What?!

Buying it like crazy.

Oh, my god, Charlie, this is huge.

Yeah! Remember, we designed that

for bodyguards, by bodyguards.

And it makes total sense because the-the best bodyguards

are former ufc fighters. Well, of course.

And the best ufc fighters are former bodyguards,

so bodyguards, ufc fighters,

that's like... It's a revolving door.

Absolutely. Of course. We got to take control of the product.

L-let's get out there.

Let's-let's-let's mingle with these dudes.

Let's expand the brand, baby.

Fight milk's back.

Fight milk! Yeah! Yeah!

Found my go bag.

Dee, come over here and dye my hair blond.

Go bag? You're gonna go blond?

Yeah.

This is not funny.

Oh, no, it's very funny to me, actually,

'cause your life's falling apart.

Yeah, you really screwed yourself this time, frank.

Hey, do you mind?

Yeah, go ahead. I'm screwed?

You're going down, too, buddy.

What?

Remember when you wanted all the power

so you could get the puss?

I made you executive

vice president of worldwide distribution.

Shit, but nobody knows that, right?

I mean, dude, I only wanted the illusion of power.

The-the illusion.

I never saw an ounce of puss.

Oh, this is a good day for me.

You're going down, too? This is great. You're laughing?

You're executive vice president of operations.

Oh. What? Yes.

Goddamn it, frank, why would you lump me into this?

It's a family business. I wanted it to be wholesome.

Okay, a-all right, all right. Oh, no.

Don't panic, don't panic, don't panic. Oh, no.

I got this, I got this.

We-we just need to face this thing head-on.

And we need to do it right away, okay?

Because we only have...

24 hours.

This is why we had to wait

for you to go to bed bath & beyond?

Yes, bitch. Now, listen,

we live in the age of the 24-hour news cycle,

which means we only have

24 hours to respond to this, okay?

If we don't, then Internet trolls

are gonna control the narrative.

I don't know how we're gonna come back

from dealing with terrorists.

Christ, Mercedes built Nazi tanks, okay?

And the Jews are still driving their cars around.

Floyd Mayweather beat the shit

out of multiple women and he's the highest paid

athlete of all time.

All right? There's only one thing

you can't come back from... Banging kids.

Well, what about the catholic church?

That's a good point. Hmm.

Yeah, no, they did sidestep

banging kids pretty masterfully,

but they've got billions of dollars at their disposal

and we do not, so... No.

Here we go.

Fight milk! Fight milk's in the house.

Fight milk's in the house.

Who wants to drink some fight milk? Fight! Fight!

Fight milk's in the house. That's right.

Time to stop eating your crow

and start drinking your crow, everybody.

Hey, guys.

Turn off that Cancun,

pussy ass, techno bullshit.

Yeah. Yeah, that's what I said.

I said turn off the... That's what I was saying is...

Don't play the c... the...

The Cancun bullshit, Charlie,

and he said... I said the same thing, yeah.

Got to go spring break. Well, anyway,

let's tell you about ourselves. Yeah.

We're the founders and creators of fight milk.

Yeah. We wanted to come by and tell you

a little bit about what we do.

Yeah. Now, I've always been very passionate

about dominating other men. Uh-oh.

There's nothing like the feeling

of another man submitting to your will.

Now that's power.

Yeah. In a lot of ways, that's love.

What are you talking about?

Okay, he's a bodyguard, though.

Yeah. I feel like you were being unclear.

Did-did I not say that? Yeah, you should say...

You should lead with that. I'm screwing up the pitch.

You know what, I'm gonna jump in here.

We're-we're a couple of crow enthusiasts

who wanted to take the power

and essence of a crow

and-and we packed that into a delicious milk drink

that we invented, thus fight milk. Yeah.

I don't know what you guys are talking about right now,

but I have heard of your stuff

and cerrone and felder, they actually love it.

Are you kidding me, dude? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Cowboy cerrone and Paul felder drink fight milk?

Oh, they love it. They crush it.

They crush it. They're crushing...

That's... Fight milk

is supposed to be crushed.

Uh, this is for wiping yourself down.

Yeah, yeah, thanks, bro. Okay, man.

All right, yeah, my man. All right, thanks, bro.

Yeah, thanks, guys.

Hey, good luck with that. Oh, yeah, yeah.

Hello? Hello?

Uh, Mr. cowboy, Mr. felder.

Oh, cowboy! Hey!

Oh! Oh!

It's us, the fight milk guys. Hey.

Oh, man, we love your drink.

We just had some.

Yeah, man, I'd get up and shake your hands

if I wasn't shitting my brains out right now.

Oh, no. No, no, that's fine, yeah.

So, fight milk makes you sick?

Makes you expel all body fluids.

Sweat, piss,

and shit; We got these weigh-ins coming up.

Nothing cuts weight like fight milk.

Oh, you're using it to cut weight, huh?

They should give you guys a nobel...

Oh, I just puked on my dick!

Rock and roll.

All right, cool.

Well, uh... Rock and roll, yeah.

Yeah. We just got you some merch.