The Rainmaker

I say to you, I tell you, a tornado...

I say a tornado, that's a terrible thing.

A terrible thing.

I saw a little town in Idaho.

Pretty and green in the grass, looked like it would live forever.

Saw that same town, the same night, after a tornado blew through that place.

Why, there wasn't a single blade of grass, or even one tired little buttercup.

And everybody gone.

The men ran north and the women ran south.

The dogs ran east and the cats ran west.

Nobody left in that town but a little boy...

calling down the main street.

"Bowser." He was calling for his dog.

"Bowser. Where's my little dog Bowser?"

Hello, tornado. Goodbye, town.

We ain't never had a tornado here.

That's what they said in Idaho.

Said it in the morning, tornado came at night.

What do you call that there pole?

I'm mighty glad you asked me, mister. Mighty glad indeed.

I call it a tornado rod.

You nail it on your roof, let that pinwheel turn in the breeze...

and I warranty and I guarantee...

if this here pretty little town ever gets hit by a tornado...

it'll blow through here like a gentle spring breeze.

And the thinnest little birch tree, it'll bend over dancing...

and spring right back up again on its two little feet.

- That's him, Sheriff. - Like to hold it, little girl?

You see that, folks? Light enough for a little girl to hold on to.

And now, hear me'.

I want you to know that this first tornado rod goes absolutely free...

to this pretty little girl, if she'll tell me her name.

My name's Starbuck, honey. What's yours?

Belinda.

From me to you, Belinda. To remember me by.

Now, that's the first one.

The next one ain't gonna cost $100.'

No, sirree, it's not gonna cost you $50.

It is gonna cost you one quarter.

Twenty-five cents, one-fourth part of $1. Two bits. Now, who gets it?

I'll take it.

Very well. Pass that down. Let the money go.

The next one's gonna cost you 50 cents.

Hurry up. Act fast. The price is going up.

- Fifty cents, half a dollar. - I'll take it'.

- Who is it? - Me.

Right there for the gent, please. Thank you.

The next one's gonna cost $1. $1, $2, $3, $4.

- Hurry up, there won't be no more. - Starbuck.

- Your name Starbuck? - Get him, he's a con man.

There they go.

Hey, he's gone.

Everybody after him'. Clear the square'.

Don't let him get away. Come on.

So long, Belinda.

Whoa, boy.

Jimmy won the prize.

- Jimmy won the prize. - Hey, Jimmy.

You won it easy, Jimmy.

- Is this here roadster yours? - Sure is.

- How many cylinders? - Five.

- How tall are you? - 6'.

That's pretty tall.

Ain't short.

It's a nice height for a fellow to be.

I wouldn't be nothing else.

I was watching you at the dance.

You dance like you were gonna bust.

Feel like I'm gonna bust.

- You visiting? - The Maguires.

- They're my cousins. - Hey, Jimmy, come on.

Your name's Snookie.

Yours is Jim Curry.

No, I seen you three times last week and four times this week.

- Seven times altogether. - Altogether.

Why didn't you talk?

Didn't have nothing to say.

- You always wear that little red hat? - No law says that I can't.

- Gonna wear it all your life? - Nope.

I'm gonna give it to some handsome fellow. That's when, as, and if.

- Did you say five cylinders? - Yeah.

- You say 6'? - Yeah.

Like to see how she runs?

Yeah.

Jim Curry'.

If you're looking for your brother, just seen him go out...

and Snookie Maguire after him.

- Find Jim, Noah? - No, I didn't, Pop.

Phil says he come out with Snookie Maguire.

If Jim comes back, will you tell him we went down to the depot...

- to meet Lizzie's train? - Yeah, I'll tell him.

But seems to me, if Jimmy's found a girlfriend...

he ain't gonna waste no time meeting his sister.

- Let's go, Noah. - No, I'm gonna find that kid.

When Lizzie gets off that train, I sure hope she got what she went for, H.C.

- Like what? - Like a husband, maybe.

No offense, just friendly.

- Where'd you find him? - He was parked with Snookie Maguire.

What of it?

What of it? You could have got yourself in a hatful of trouble.

- Well, what kind of trouble, Noah? - That girl.

I tell you, Pop, her hair is so bleached blond...

- It ain't bleached. - Don't tell me.

She's been in town less than a week...

and Gil Denby says she's bought two pints of peroxide.

Well, what's that? I use peroxide for a cut finger.

Well, if she got cut that often, she'd bleed to death.

- What happened? - I'll tell you what happened.

They were out in the car, so twisted up together...

that I couldn't tell where he left off and Snookie began.

If I hadn't come along, heck knows what would've happened.

Heck knows I might have come home with her little red hat.

With her what?

Nothing.

Do you know what trouble you can get yourself into with a girl like that?

You think you're smart enough to handle it yourself?

I ain't saying I'm smart.

I don't mind you telling me how to do and how to figure things out.

I just wish you wouldn't holler'.

There she comes.

Now, remember, Jimmy, when Lizzie gets off the train, no questions.

Well, how'll we know how she made out?

No questions.

I won't ask no dumb questions, Pop.

I'll just say:

"Lizzie, which one of Uncle Ned's sons looks like the marrying kind?"

Yeah, that'll fool her.

Pop.'

Lizzie'.

Hiya, Lizzie.

It's so great to have you back, Lizzie'.

How was the trip, Lizzie?

Fine. Everything was fine.

- I brought you a present, Pop. - Pop means at Uncle Ned's.

- How was it at Uncle Ned's? - Fine, Jimmy. Everything was fine.

I brought you one, too.

Don't eat it all in one night. You might get sick.

Here's yours, Noah. The pen is filled with red ink.

Which one of Uncle Ned's sons looks like the marrying...

Home again. It doesn't seem like a week.

More like a year.

Everything right where it was. Every...

Everything just like home.

- Now, Pop. Can we... - No, not now.

Looks like you made out fine, Pop.

Dishes all washed, no dirty pans on the stove.

You should have seen the place while you was gone.

Filthy. Dishes stacked up in the sink that high every day.

- Ain't that right, boys? - Sure, that's right.

I washed the dishes every night. What are you talking about?

Looks like the trip perked you up real good.

When you left here, you were looking all dragged out by the heat.

What was it like in Sweet River?

- Hotter than hell. - Now, you quit that.

I don't see nothing funny in her talking like a cowhand.

I'm sorry, Noah. That's all the conversation I've heard for a week.

How's Uncle Ned, Lizzie? And Aunt Ivy?

- Yeah. How's all them boys? - Big.

Well, if they take after Aunt Ivy, I'll bet they talked your ear off.

No, they take after Uncle Ned. They just grunt.

Who got to be the best looking of the boys, Lizzie?

I guess Pete.

I never could get those boys straight. Which one is Pete?

- He's the one with the yellow hair. - Yellow hair? Hey, that's nice on a man.

- It's honest. - Pete's honest, all right.

The way you say it, I bet you liked him the best.

Yeah, I'm crazy about Pete.

He asked me to marry him.

- Is that true, Lizzie? - Word of honor.

Well, what'd you tell him?

I told him I would as soon as he graduates from grammar school.

Grammar school?

Well, is he that dumb?

No, Pete's not dumb. He's only 9 years old.

Look, Pop, let's not beat around the bush.

I know why you sent me to Sweet River, because Uncle Ned's got six boys.

Three of them are old enough to get married, and so am I.

Well, I'm sorry you went to all that expense:

the railroad ticket and all those new clothes.

Noah, you can write it in the books in red ink.

I'm sorry, the trip didn't work.

- Lizzie, that ain't what we sent you for. - Jimmy, please.

She's right. That's what we sent her for. Nothing come of it.

What I want to know is why did nothing come of it?

Let it alone, Noah.

No, Pop, an investment's an investment.

If we put money in a heifer and she don't turn out, we got to ask questions.

- That's very well put, Noah. - What happened in Sweet River, Lizzie?

Nothing.

That's the awful thing.

Just nothing at all.

What did you do? Where'd you go?

The first three or four days I was there, I stayed in my room, mostly.

Why'd you do that?

- Because I was embarrassed. - Embarrassed about what?

Noah, use your head. I knew what I was there for...

and that whole family knew it, too.

I couldn't stand the way they were looking me over.

So I'd go downstairs for my meals, and then I'd rush right back to my room.

I packed, unpacked, washed my hair a dozen times...