The Cat's-Paw

Do we take the boat from there, Daddy?

Yes, my son...

and all the way across the Pacific Ocean.

That's China, isn't it?

Yes. Sheng Tu is a little village...

far in the interior.

Miles from the railroad even.

We'll have to travel by ox cart.

Daddy, aren't we nearly there?

I think so, my son. You must have patience.

Are you all right, my dear?

A little tired, Julian.

The trip has been so long.

Yes. Stockport seems a long way off now.

The mission... our new home.

Welcome to Sheng Tu, Mr. Cobb.

Thank you, sir. This is Mrs. Cobb, my wife.

How do you do, Mrs. Cobb?

May I present you to my venerable friend Keen Lung?

How do you do, sir?

And this I presume is the successor to my successor?

My son Ezekiel.

I'm glad to meet you, sir.

You, too.

A cordial greeting, my worthy friend.

Thank you, sir.

Isn't that funny writing?

Our native language, my young missionary.

- May I have it? - Ezekiel!

Oh, I shall be honored...

if he would accept it as a gift.

Thank you, sir!

As he ripens in years, he will learn from it.

The wisdom of Ling Po...

our great poet and philosopher.

You are very kind, sir.

Now, if you will enter the mission...

I will introduce you to your future friends.

It would be a privilege, sir.

Hello.

What?

You'll have to talk a little slower.

I guess I just don't understand.

Ohh, I see!

I have told them that Ezekiel is leaving...

and they grieve exceedingly.

Yes. I've just bid him Godspeed on his journey...

and in a few minutes he will be gone.

It is well, honorable sir.

The separation must be borne in fairness to the boy.

True, but I'm worried.

You see, he hasn't been out of this little village...

in over 20 years.

Ah, but he is well-versed in languages and the classics.

He is educated.

As a Chinese gentleman, yes...

but he knows nothing of the world.

Then this trip to America will broaden his education.

It will fit him even more eminently to return...

and continue your missionary work among us.

It's always been my ambition...

for him to perpetuate this mission.

To do that, he must marry.

Therefore a visit to America is necessary...

for him to find a mother for his children.

I realize that.

And he has promised to return as soon as...

he has found a suitable wife.

I must give him this to mail in San Francisco.

It's a letter to the Reverend Junius P. Withers...

of our parent church in Stockport.

I'm sure that he will welcome Ezekiel as a guest.

Good-bye, my son. May God be with you.

Good-bye!

Good-bye, my son! Good-bye!

Read all about it! Death in the penthouse!

Pardon me, sir.

May I humbly inquire the direction...

to the First Church of Stockport?

The first church? Sure. Just grab yourself a bus...

and hop over to the music box on 31st street.

You know, where the red-hot babies are playing?

You'll find it easy.

Just buzz any flatfoot on the beat.

He'll serve you the dope. You got me? OK.

Extra! Read all about it!

Big love murder! Murder for love!

Extra! Murder for love! Murder for love! Extra!

What are you talkin' about?

Read all about it!

Playboy graft! Extra! Extra! Read all about it!

Uh, pardon me, sir. I seem to be in a predicament.

You see, I'd like to get to the First Church of Stockport.

Well, ain't this the joint you want?

Oh, yes. Yes, indeed.

That was most kind of you.

Want me to wait?

Oh, no. I'm to be a guest of the Reverend Junius P. Withers.

You see, this is the parent church of my father's mission.

Think of that.

For what reason?

Once more?

Why should I think of my father's mission?

I'll bite. Why?

Well... I enjoyed our little ride exceedingly.

Uh, would you allow me...

to pay you for the use of your conveyance?

I'll say I will. 2 bucks.

Bucks? Couldn't I pay you in dollars?

Sure.

Just give me $3.00 and we'll call it square.

Thank you.

Hey, buddy!

There's a dollar for yourself...

for pickin' an honest guy out of a bunch of crooks.

Ha ha ha!

Ah ha ha ha!

Oh, pardon me.

Will you kindly convey to your master...

We don't want any.

Well!

Pardon me. I don't think you understand.

I wish to see the Reverend Junius P. Withers!

You can't. He's busy.

But I'm Ezekiel Cobb.

I've just arrived from China to visit him.

From China!

China!

- Huh? - China!

China?

Yes. He's expecting me.

Well, I'll tell him.

Come in.

There's a man outside selling china.

Says you're expecting him.

China? Ridiculous.

Yes, sir. Do you want to see him?

Certainly not. I'm busy.

Mr. Withers says he's too busy to see you.

Oh, but there must be some mistake!

He don't want to see you!

Oh, I'm afraid this is my last attempt...

to become mayor of Stockport.

Oh ho!

I'm not as young as I used to be.

Oh, forget it.

Why, say, it wouldn't be an election...

if you weren't running on our ticket.

Why, say, I really have a chance...

to be elected this time, don't you think?

- Why, sure you have. - Yeah?

Anyway, we'll know by Tuesday night.

Yeah. Well, good day, Mr. Mayo.

So long. See you tomorrow.

Hello, Jake.

- Hello, Pete. - How are you?

Hey, if you're waiting for a parade, there ain't none.

Were you addressing me?

Say, what's the big idea?

I have no ideas.

In fact, I'm quite bewildered.

Now, don't get gay with me.

Sir, I'm far from gay.

Now, listen...

Now, keep your shirt on, Pete.

Where you from, son?

China.

China? You mean where the laundrymen come from?

Yes.

Well, what brought you to Stockport?

I was born here.

Uh-huh. Hometown boy, eh?

Any friends here?

Well, uh... no.

But I have a letter to Tien Wang...

a Chinese gentleman.

I'm sure he'll welcome me as a guest.

Say, that ain't right.

White man coming back here, no place to go but a Chink's?

Oh, but it's the Chinese...

that defrayed the expenses of my trip.

What, from China?

Oh, yes! The celestial Keen Lung sent me...

to his gracious friend Lee Wong in Shanghai...

who sent me to the worthy Ma Sing in San Francisco...

who sent me to the venerable Fu Chi...

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

You mean, they sort of passed you along...

from one to the other?

Yes, you see, Fi Chu is a friend of Ma Sing...

and Ma Sing was a friend of Lee Wong...

Yeah, never mind. Never mind.

If the Chinks can do that for you...

I guess an Irishman can stake you...

to a flop and a boiled egg.

Call a taxi, Pete.

We'll fix him up at Mrs. Noon's.

Well, I'm most grateful, sir...

but, you see, I have a little money.

Oh. Well, you might just as well put up at the boarding house.