Dead Heading

- A very good morning,

ladies and gentlemen,

I trust you've had a restful night's sleep.

The local time is eight a.m.,

we are an hour and a half from London Heathrow.

We'll be passing the cabin

serving breakfast shortly, thank you.

Thank you.

What?

It was an accident.

Oh, that's okay then.

Accidents do happen, sir.

Accident my ass.

Morning, can I get you a coffee?

Yes, please.

My home brew.

- Here you go. - Thank you.

Okay.

Oh, bless, poor thing.

We'll be there in a couple of hours. Hang in there.

Mel, have you got that bag?

We'll pop it in here.

I'll give you those.

I'll be back in a few moments to take any used ones, okay?

- Blimey, that poor girl's been blowing like a volcano.

Oh, yeah.

Not a lot of breakfast being eaten at her end of the plane.

Poor thing.

Flight attendants,

20 minutes until landing, please.

- Oh my goodness sir, I am so sorry. (laughing)

Are you okay? - You smashed me nose.

Must have been an accident.

Touch me again, and it won't be.

- Flight attendants prepare for landing.

Oh, we're landing now, sir.

We'll get that nose seen to when we

get to the terminal, okay?

Is your seat belt on?

There's a good chap.

Ladies and gentlemen, the captain has signaled

that we are now in our final descent.

The seat belt sign is now illuminated,

the toilets are now out of use.

Please make sure that your seat backs

and tray tables are in their full,

upright position and the arm rests are down.

Make sure the seat belt is securely fastened,

and any carry on luggage is stowed underneath the seat

in front of you, or in the overhead bins.

Please turn off all electronic devices

until we are safely parked at the gate.

Thank you.

- Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to London Heathrow

where the local time is 9:30 a.m.

and the temperature is 19 degrees celsius.

On behalf of the captain and cabin crew,

we hope you've had a relaxing flight with us.

It's been a pleasure to look after you during this flight,

and we hope to be of service to you again soon.

Please do have a safe on with journey,

and a very pleasant day.

Thank you, and a very good morning.

- So, Anna, what are your plans for this evening?

I was wondering if you wanted to come out

for a few drinks with the rest of us?

- No, I think I'll just lay low, get some sleep.

I've been turned around more than usual this week,

and I've got a new dog that barks all night,

so really tired.

I was hoping we'd get that drink

you promised me a few months ago.

Sorry, Steve.

I guess I can't drink with other men anymore.

Wow, when did that happen?

Last month, whirlwind romance.

When you know it's right, you've just got to dive in.

Well, he's a lucky guy.

Just imagine what could have happened

if we'd had that drink together earlier.

You're right Steve, I can only imagine.

I'll leave you to rest. Text you later.

Dodged a bullet there, again.

Well played.

Morning, Anna Lawson checking in please.

Anna Lawson?

Can I check, how are you spelling that please?

Your kidding, right?

Anna A-N-N-A, Lawson L-A-W-S-O-N.

I'm so sorry Ms. Lawson,

but we don't have a booking for you.

- I've just got off a seven hour flight with no sleep,

my third this week and you're telling me

that my name isn't in your stupid machine?

I'm sure we can sort this out.

I'll organize a room for you now.

That would be a great idea, wouldn't it?

Are you okay, Anna?

Steve!

- Happy to say your booking has been authorized.

Here's your room key.

That was easy.

Thank you.

Have a great night Steve.

And you.

Hi. - Can I help you sir?

I'm sorry, she's very tired.

That perfectly understandable Sir.

Thank you.

- Mind you, I'd better be on that machine of yours.

Awesome.

Another bland hotel room.

Not too bad.

Ah, fuck!

Stupid bitch.

Simon!

Hello darling.

Hey gorgeous.

- How'd the flight go? - Ugh, the usual.

Had a girl vomit on descent,

and the hot water boiler broke again.

- Oh no, so no coffee and tea!

I bet that went down well.

We managed.

We used the one in first class,

but, I had to keep walking around loads to refill it.

Very annoying.

Oh poor baby.

You're in the hotel now are you?

Yeah.

It's okay.

Just had a nice bath.

Plan on getting lots of sleep.

Yeah, good idea.

You have been working long shifts, babe.

- Yeah, but I'll be back in 48 hours and you can take me

on that picnic you promised me on the hill.

How's Barney?

I miss him too.

Well, apart from

the barking all night he's cool.

He loves his new bed,

not sure next door's cat likes him though.

- Oh, well, he'll learn to stay away I'm sure.

- Look, you get some deserved rest.

I'll chat later.

I love you so much.

- I love you too, cant wait to hold you again.

Oh, me too.

Barney's no substitute.

His breath smells. (chuckling)

Take care, hugs.

Hugs back, speak soon.

Love you.

Love you.

No way.

Mm.

Simon.

Just get some sleep.

Wow, all afternoon.

Club sandwich, pizza, chicken Tikka Masala.

Yuck!

Restaurant time.

Popular place.

- Yes, it is a tad quiet tonight, table for one?

Yeah, if you can squeeze me in?

I'll try my best.

Would you like to follow me?

Can I get you anything to drink?

Ah, red wine?

- We have a great Shiraz. - Perfect.

- Large or small? - Definitely a large.

Thanks. - Are you ready to order?

Yeah, I'll have the medium rare

filet steak with peppercorn sauce.

With chips or potatoes?

Chips.

Thanks.

Chips.

Can I get you another drink?

I tell you what, should we just give you the bottle?

On the house.

- That's very nice of you, thank you very much.

- Enjoy. - Thanks.

Is everything alright for you?

Oh yeah, it's great.

Would you like the desert menu?

No, thanks, I'm full up.

I think I'll just chill at the bar.

Right.

Hi, I'm Paul, I noticed you--

Did you?

Did you notice me, Paul?

And now that your friends have you all the way over here

on your own, what's the plan, Paul?

The plan?

Well, I don't really-- - You don't?

Surely you have a plan to seduce me.

So what is it?

Are you funny?