Zelig

He was the phenomenon of the '20s.

When you think, at the time, he was as well-known as Lindbergh,

it's really quite astonishing.

His story reflected the nature of our civilization,

the character of our times,

yet it was also one man's story.

And all the themes of our culture were there.

Heroism, will, things like that.

But when you look back on it, it was very strange.

Well, it is ironic to see how quickly he has faded from memory,

considering what an astounding record he made.

He was, of course, very amusing, but at the same time touched a nerve in people,

perhaps in a way in which they would prefer not to be touched.

It certainly is a very bizarre story.

The year is 1928.

America, enjoying a decade of unequalled prosperity, has gone wild.

The morals are looser, the liquor is cheaper,

when you can get it.

It is a time of diverse heroes and madcap stunts,

of speakeasies and flamboyant parties.

One typical party occurs at the Long Island estate

of Mr. and Mrs. Henry Porter Sutton,

socialites, patrons of the arts.

Politicians and poets rub elbows with the cream of high society.

Present at the party is Scott Fitzgerald,

who is to cast perspective on the '20s for all future generations.

He writes in his notebook about a curious little man named Leon Selwyn or Zelman,

who seemed clearly to be an aristocrat,

and extolled the very rich as he chatted with socialites.

He spoke adoringly of Coolidge and the Republican party,

all in an upper-class Boston accent.

"An hour later," writes Fitzgerald,

"I was stunned to see the same man speaking with the kitchen help."

"Now, he claimed to be a Democrat and his accent seemed to be coarse,"

"as if he were one of the crowd."

It is the first small notice taken of Leonard Zelig.

Florida, one year later.

An odd incident occurs at the New York Yankees' training camp.

Journalists, anxious as always

to immortalize the exploits of the great home-run hitters,

notice a strange new player waiting his turn at bat after Babe Ruth.

He is listed on the roster as Lou Zelig,

but no one on the team has heard of him.

Security guards are called, and he is escorted from the premises.

It appears as a small item in the next day's newspaper.

Chicago, Illinois, that same year.

There is a private party at a speakeasy on the South Side.

People from the most respectable walks of life dance and drink bathtub gin.

Present that evening was Calvin Turner, a waiter.

A lotta customers, a lotta gangsters came in the place.

'Cause they always good tippers and take good care of us,

and of course we try to take care of our customers.

But on this particular night, I looked over and here's a strange guy comin' in.

I'd never seen him before, so I asked one of the others, I say,

"John, you know this guy? You ever seen him?"

So he looks. "No, I ain't never seen him before."

"I don't know who he is, but I know he's a tough-looking hombre."

So I looked over, and next thing, the guy had disappeared.

I don't know where he went to, but about this time, the music usually gets started.

And the band started... Playin', and I looked,

and here's a colored guy, a colored boy playin' trumpet.

Man, he was playin' back.

"I looked at the guy and said" Well, my goodness.

"He looks just like that gangster, but the gangster was white"

"and this guy is black."

So I don't know what's... What's happening.

New York City. It is several months later.

Police are investigating the disappearance of a clerk named Leonard Zelig.

Both his landlady and his employer have reported him missing.

They tell police he was an odd little man who kept to himself.

Only two clues are found in Zelig's Greenwich Village flat.

One, a photograph of Zelig with Eugene O'Neill,

and one of him as Pagliacci.

Acting on a tip, they trace his whereabouts to Chinatown,

where, in the rear of a Chinese establishment, a strange-looking Oriental

who fits the description of Leonard Zelig is discovered.

Suspicious, the detectives try to pull off his disguise,

but it is not a disguise, and a fight breaks out.

He is removed by force, and taken to Manhattan Hospital.

In the ambulance, he rants and curses in what sounds like authentic Chinese.

He is restrained with a straitjacket.

When he emerges from the car 20 minutes later,

incredibly, he is no longer Chinese, but Caucasian.

Bewildered interns place him in the emergency room for observation.

At 7:00 a.m., Dr. Eudora Fletcher, a psychiatrist, makes her usual rounds.

When I first heard about this emergency case that had been brought in,

I didn't think anything peculiar.

And when I first laid eyes on him, it was a bit strange,

because I mistook him for a doctor.

He had a very professional demeanor about him.

As a young psychiatrist,

Eudora Fletcher is fascinated by Leonard Zelig.

She convinces the conservative staff at the hospital to allow her

to pursue a study of the new admission.

- What do you do? - Oh, me? I'm a psychiatrist.

- Oh, yes? - Yes, yes, I work

mostly with delusional paranoids.

- Tell me about it. - Oh, there's not much to tell. I...

I work mostly on the Continent,

and I've written quite a few psychoanalytic papers.

I've studied a great deal. I worked with Freud in Vienna.

Yes, we broke over the concept of penis envy.

Freud felt that it should be limited to women.

It's not that he was making any sense at all.

It was just a conglomeration of psychological double-talk

that he had apparently heard, or perhaps was familiar with through reading.

The funny thing was that his delivery was quite fluid,

and might have been really quite convincing

to someone who did not know any better.

Who was this Leonard Zelig

that seemed to create such diverse impressions everywhere?

All that was known of him was that he was the son of a Yiddish actor

named Morris Zelig, whose performance as Puck

in the Orthodox version of A Midsummer Night's Dream, was coolly received.

The elder Zelig's second marriage is marked by constant violent quarrelling,

so much so, that although the family lives over a bowling alley,

it is the bowling alley that complains of noise.

As a boy, Leonard is frequently bullied by anti-Semites.

His parents, who never take his part and blame him for everything,

side with the anti-Semites.

They punish him often by locking him in a dark closet.

When they are really angry, they get into the closet with him.

On his deathbed, Morris Zelig tells his son

that life is a meaningless nightmare of suffering,

and the only advice he gives him is to save string.

Though brother Jack has a nervous breakdown,

and sister Ruth becomes a shoplifter and alcoholic,

Leonard Zelig appears to have adjusted to life.

Somehow, he seems to have coped.

And then, suddenly, increasingly strange behavior.

Fascinated by the Zelig phenomenon,

Dr. Fletcher arranges a series of experiments

and invites the skeptical staff to observe.

With the doctors watching, Zelig becomes a perfect psychiatrist.

When two Frenchmen are brought in,

Zelig assumes their characters and speaks reasonable French.

In the company of a Chinese person, he begins to develop oriental features.

By now, word has gotten out to the press,

and a public thirsting for thrills and novelty is immediately captivated.

The clamor is so great that Dr. Allan Sindell is forced to issue a statement.

We're just beginning to realize the dimensions

of what could be the scientific medical phenomenon of the age,

and possibly of all time.

Fresh stories roll off the press every day

about Zelig and his puzzling condition.

Although the doctors claim to have the situation in hand,

no two can agree on a diagnosis.

I'm convinced that it's glandular in nature

and although there's no evidence now of any misfunction,

I'm sure that further tests will show a problem in the secretions.

I'm certain it's something he picked up from eating Mexican food.

This manifestation is neurological in origin.

Now, this patient is suffering from a brain tumor,

and I should not be surprised if, within several weeks, he died.

Now, we have not as yet been able to locate the tumor,

but we're still looking.

Ironically, within two weeks' time,

it is Dr. Birsky himself who dies of a brain tumor.

Leonard Zelig is fine.

Throughout the weeks of testing and speculation,

Eudora Fletcher begins to feel that the patient might be suffering

not from a physiological disorder,

but from a psychological one.

It is Zelig's unstable make-up, she suggests,

that accounts for his metamorphoses.

The governing board of doctors is hostile to her notion.

They conclude that Zelig's malady can be traced to poor alignment of the vertebrae.

Tests prove them wrong, and cause a temporary problem for the patient.

Now, the press and public hang on every bit of news,

thoroughly absorbed in the real-life drama.

The continuing saga of the strange creature

at Manhattan Hospital goes on.

This morning, doctors report, experiments were conducted

and several women of varying types were placed in close proximity to the subject,

but no change occurred, leading authorities to conclude

that the phenomenon does not occur with women.

Later today, doctors will be experimenting with a midget and a chicken.

Leonard Zelig continues to astound scientists

at New York's Manhattan Hospital,

where numerous tests have led nowhere

in determining the nature of this astonishing manifestation.

He is confronted by two overweight men at the request of the doctors.

As the men discuss their obesity, an initially reticent Zelig joins in,

swelling himself to a miraculous 250 pounds.

Next, in the presence of two Negro men,

Zelig rapidly becomes one himself.

What will they think of next?

Meanwhile, Americans all over have their own reactions.

I wish I could be Lenny Zelig, the changing man.

I'd be different people, and maybe someday my wishes will come true.

Leonard Zelig is one of the finest gentlemen

in the United States of America!

He is the cat's pajamas!

Trying a new approach, Dr. Fletcher

places the subject under hypnosis.

Tell me why you assume the characteristics

of the person you're with.

It's safe.

What do you mean? What do you mean, "safe"?

Safe to...