Jimmy Hollywood

Ready.

Gloria Swanson.

Maurice Chevalier.

Ralph Bellamy.

Lon Chaney.

Phillips Lord.

One of my favorites. Humphrey Bogart.

Here's an actress. Snow White.

Ann Miller.

Jean Harlow.

Blank.

Rex Harrison.

Burgess Meredith.

Ray Bolger.

Blank.

Steve McQueen.

Danny Kaye.

Sarah Vaughan.

Jimmy Stewart.

Victor Mature.

Edward G. Robinson.

Blank.

Dinah Shore.

Adolphe Menjou.

Erich Von Stroheim.

Tom Mix.

Rory Calhoun.

Henry Fonda.

Burt Lancaster.

This one, if l had a hat, l'd tip it.

John Ford.

Betty Grable.

Little Richard.

Jimmy Cagney.

Blank.

Van Heflin.

"Richard Widmark."

Richard Widmark. Shit!

That was pretty good, though.

Richard Widmark. How could l not get that one?

Yeah. How many was that?

-What? -How many, William?

l thought you were going to count.

How could l be counting? l'm thinking of names.

Come on, William. l depend on you.

This is important to me.

l think this was my personal best.

l don't ever remember doing this well before.

This was definitely a better run than my Debbie Reynolds one.

Debbie Reynolds one?

Now we gotta go back and count. l gotta count all the stars again.

l can't believe you did this to me. l can't believe you did it.

Come on. Let's go. We're to count them.

One, two...

You don't remember where l started at all?

Think. Maybe if you see it. Three.

How many was that?

What? Five?

How many did we just do?

One, two, three, four, five.

Here we go.

You look good.

Very, very good. Very compelling.

Catches your eye, don't you think? lf you were riding by, it catches your eye?

Don't forget, this is a big traffic flow area.

A lot of people passing by are seeing this.

Big traffic flow.

You look good. Very, very good.

Very, very compelling.

Sometimes you just got to invest in your future, you know.

You got to step up and invest.

They did a beautiful job with the artwork. lt really catches your eye.

Definitely worth the money.

l should probably have a fax or two waiting by the time we get home, right?

What do you think?

Yeah.

There go the Ortegas.

ls that my phone?

No. No, it's not yours.

Hi. This is Jimmy Alto, actor extraordinaire.

l'm gonna have to get back to you. l have a very busy schedule.

l'm on the set right now,

so please leave a message or a fax for me. Thanks.

-Favorite movie? -Gone with the Wind.

1 939, Selznick lnternational.

First movie you ever saw?

-The Mummy. -Boris Karloff.

l was a young kid with my dad. l wasn't feeling well.

My dad let me stay up and watch Fright Night.

You know what l could never figure out about the mummy?

The mummy used to walk with one arm out and a leg dragging behind.

He was still always able to get his victim.

l'm thinking as a kid, "l'm pretty fast.

"Just put some moves on the mummy,

"and the mummy would never get me."

This is what you're thinking about?

Then l realize the mummy never has to sleep.

Eventually, l'd get tired of running around the mummy.

That's when he'd get me.

So what did you do? Scare yourself to death

thinking you were going to sleep

and the mummy was coming in your room at night?

This schmuck, this mummy is in Cairo.

He's got to take a plane from Egypt to Philadelphia.

This mummy has got to get a passport,

and you're worried he's coming in your room at night?

This mummy's got more important things on its mind.

You know what l could never figure out about the mummy

was how he used to walk around with one arm out

-and a leg dragging behind him. -William.

William, you're blanking.

Did l say that?

Trust me.

l did say that.

Watch the radio.

l got to go to the bathroom.

You see this?

We're going to make a withdrawal.

Oh, God. Of all the people, you have to pick on me?

l make very little money.

Two hundred's not going to kill you. Just hurry up.

Two hundred?

l never use these machines at night.

l'm always afraid.

Just shut up and get on with it.

l'm wrong. "Enter again."

Lady, don't provoke me!

Don't touch my back, please. You make me nervous.

Don't provoke me. Just give me the money!

Wait, wait. "Processing."

"No funds?"

-What do you mean? -l can't believe it!

l don't have any money in my account.

-All right, give me your purse. -l don't have any money, man.

l don't have anything.

Pick it up. Pick it up!

No. lf l do, then you'll hit me in the head.

Take what you want. l don't have anything.

Put your hands down. Put your hands down.

Okay, pick up the car keys.

Go ahead. Pick up the car keys.

Where's your car?

lt's the blue Mazda.

-Okay, come on. -Okay, no, listen,

-if you want the car, you have the car. -No, no, no. Understand? Gun.

-Do you speak English? Okay. -Yes, yes, yes.

-l want you to get into the car... -No, no.

Listen to me. lf you want the car, just take it.

-l won't say anything. -l just want you to get into the car.

-l don't want to get into an argument! -Don't touch me!

lf you want the car, you have the car! Take it!

Oh, shit.

Would you put your fucking hands...

You get up, you big tub of guts.

Jimmy.

-Jimmy. -Hey.

Some guy just held me up at the ready teller.

-What? -He had a gun in my back.

-He wanted $200. -The lowlife scum.

What the fuck is going on in this world today?

Will somebody tell me what kind of sick world this is we live in?

Tell me what happened.

Don't leave anything out.

l couldn't get money from the machine. l didn't have any.

-He wanted me to get in the car. -Don't tell me you got in the car.

-You didn't get in the car? -No.

l threw the keys away, and he ran off.

Lowlife scum. Scum of the earth.

l'll tell you, it was smart not to get in the car.

l knew l wasn't going to get into the car.

Definitely smart not to get in the car.

-What did he get? -He didn't get anything.

l didn't have any money in my account.

Honey, l'm sorry.

l'm sorry.

Don't worry.

lt's a good thing l took that money.

-You took the money? -Yeah. Definitely the right move.

You mean you took my money?

What the hell is wrong with you?

l borrowed the card.

l had a crisis with my bus bench advertisement.

What are you talking about?

l have a bus bench on Sunset

right near the gates of Bel Air, big traffic flow area.

They're looking for an actor, boom, they see me.

Jimmy, you stole my money.

"Stole" is a harsh word, honey. l used it as an investment in us.

ln us? ln you, not in us!

The phone could ring any moment. That could be the call.

Next thing you know, l'm in a series.

Then we're living on the Westside.

Bam! lt happens just like that. We're on our way.

You don't have that bullshit job anymore. Boom! We're on our way.

You took my money. How could you take my money like that?

You know how strong l am as an actor.

l'm bound to be recognized.

You really are a sick nut, you know that?

-Oh, yeah? -Yeah.

"Ring, ring." Any moment.