They Shoot Horses, Don't They?

Okay, now, all you kids got a release form.

You fill it out, you sign it,

then you hand it over when you get your official entry numbers.

Only read it first.

You break a leg, we fix it.

You catch a cold, there's free aspirin.

But acts of God, the management is strictly not to be held to account.

Fire, flats, double pneumonia, that's between you and Him.

So read it and then sign.

For the benefit of the first-timers, we go around the clock,

and around and around and around.

Ten-minute break every two hours.

Rollo!

That's the warning signal.

If it's your partner,

you've got exactly 30 seconds to get them moving again.

No excuses, no explanations.

Thirty seconds.

If it's two knees… Rollo.

That's it, out. O-U-T, out.

We're gonna run it as fair as human nature allows,

so when one of the judges rules, that's it… no appeals.

When your partner is ruled out,

you can solo for 24 hours.

If you match up with another solo, fair enough.

Otherwise, that's it… out!

There'll always be a trainer or a nurse on duty,

and a doctor out here 24 hours a day.

Okay?

Now, food.

Four regular meals and three small ones each day.

NOW!

What the hell's going on over there?

Sorry.

Kid, fill this out and get over there.

Come on, get over there.

There'll be two judges on the floor at all times,

nurses and trainers in the rest areas.

Any questions, come up and ask them.

Fellas, give me a break.

In a couple of hours,

we fling open the magic doors of fame and fortune,

so line up and get your number.

Yeah, we'll take care of that, don't worry.

Where do you want these, Rocky?

They'll be here in a second. Put them in there.

Turkey, check the rest areas.

Is this the first time you've been in a contest?

Some system. Just like the fleet.

Line up and wait, only longer.

Hey! How about goosin' it up a little?

You'll get your turn. Take it easy, huh?

What's this stuff? Hooch?

No, that's for my stomach. I got a bad stomach.

- Paregoric, opium base. - No number.

He's got another one.

It's medicine. I gotta take it for my stomach.

So take it somewhere else. I got enough trouble without a hophead.

You heard him, school's over. Blow.

- That's no fair. Just because a guy's… - Hire a lawyer.

Come on. Next. Move it up.

Once, between hitches, I worked a cattle boat out of Galveston.

Same thing, you know what I mean?

No, I don't think I do, actually.

Well, what I mean is, if you think about it, cattle ain't got it much worse than us.

They got it better.

There's always somebody feeding them.

Sure. Stuffin' 'em up good for the slaughter pen.

Right down the chute and some big dumb bohunk

is standing there with a Sledgehammer.

But they don't know it's gonna happen.

That puts 'em one up on us, don't it?

Yeah, if you think of it that way.

What's the matter with him?

Nothing.

Have you got a specialty of some kind?

I'm an actress. Alice LeBlanc, from London.

You got an act or a bit? Let's see a little.

Well, if you give us a few seconds, we could work something up, okay?

Yes, they told me you were fools,

but I was not to listen to your fine words, nor trust your charity.

Jesus Christ.

You promised me my life, but you lied!

You think that life is nothing but not being stone dead!

Alice.

That's great, I really mean it. Shakespeare, huh?

- It's from "St. Joan." - Yeah, that's what I figured.

Maybe it's too highbrow, but don't worry,

I'll set up something just right for you.

Next!

Hey, Sailor.

Rocky, look at this.

Thirty-one?

Yeah, 31.

What do I need… A note from my mother?

It's your feet, Sailor.

Next!

Move it. Move it.

Doc.

- You sick or something? - It's all right.

Open up. Wider.

Wider.

What is this? He's all right.

Bronchitis, maybe.

Yeah, maybe the Mongolian crud.

No dice. You infect the whole place,

I got the health department on my back.

That's the way it is.

Next!

- I'm sorry, Gloria. - That's a big help.

- You're the one that talked me into this. - I'm sorry.

What about me?

- I'm sorry. - That's what he said.

I can't buy coffee and cigarettes with it.

I can't make exceptions.

- How many you got? - 71 going through and I'm holding out…

What about her?

If she ain't pregnant, I'm Nelson Eddy.

So, what's healthier than having a kid?

And it gives the audience something to root for.

What do you want me to do… Run out and get knocked up?

We could discuss it later.

That soap's a little hard.

- Is this our number? - Just hold on a second.

- You got any other suggestions? - Get yourself another partner.

Yeah, where?

Hey, cowboy!

Yeah, you! Come here.

Good luck, Bates.

Keep the line moving.

Look, I was just out walking. I didn't come to…

Is that a fact?

What's your name, cowboy?

Robert. Robert Siverton.

In a minute!

You got a partner, Richard?

No, I… It's Robert

- I was just walkin'. - There you are, miss.

How's he gonna dance in those things?

You mean boots? They're not mine.

I room with another guy. He went away and left them behind.

- He's gonna break an arch. - Dig him up a pair of shoes.

Or maybe you'd rather wait for the Prince of Wales.

- Have I got a choice? - Yeah. Take it or leave it.

Yowsah, yowsah, yowsah!

Welcome to the dance of destiny, ladies and gentlemen.

Around and around and around we go, and we're only beginning, folks.

Only beginning!

On and on and on and on and when will it stop?

When will it end?

When?

Only when the last two of these wonderful, starry-eyed kids are left.

Only when the last two dancers stagger and sway,

stumble and swoon, across the sea of defeat and despair to victory.

One couple, and only one, will waltz out of here,

over broken bodies and broken dreams,

carrying the grand prize 1,500 silver dollars.

Mr. Light Man!

The clock of fate, ladies and gentlemen.

I said "the prize" because only one couple

will dance on to fame and fortune.

Those who give up, those who give out,

those who give in-out!

Tough rules, but these are tough times.

In the words of our great leader, Herbert Hoover,

"Prosperity is just around the corner."

But what do we say about the Depression?

That's what we say about the Depression.

Come on, let's hear it, folks!

Let's hear it!

It's walking dead night, Turkey.

Pour me a shot of water.

So pick your couple, folks.

Struggle with 'em, hope with 'em, pray with 'em.

See if you can pick out that one lucky couple and then cheer them on.

Come on, let 'em hear you care, folks.

Let 'em know you're with them all the way!

You hear that, kids?

You hear those wonderful folks out there rooting for you?

Come on, kids, show them you care.

A little… a little sprint for those wonderful folks out there!

That's it. You see 'em give, folks?

You see 'em give? That's the spirit!

So why California?

You don't freeze while you're starving.

It has the movies.

Are you an actress?

I done four atmosphere bits since I've been here.

I'd have done more, but I can't get into Central Casting.

They got it all sewed up.

Don't you know anyone who can help you?

In this business? How can you tell who can help you?

One day you're an electrician, the next day you're a producer.

The only way I could get near a big shot is to jump on the running board of his car.

God. Check that one.

Anyway, I don't know if the men stars can help me as much as the women stars.

From what I've been seeing lately,

I think I've been letting the wrong sex try to make me.

- You in movies, too? - Sort of.

I was a dead French villager in "Fallen Angels."