Jenna Loves Pain

[ELECTRIC STATIC, DISTORTED VOICE]

Warning. Life signs at critical levels.

Warning. Life signs at critical levels.

I left you that one.

I thought it must have sentimental value

since you'd never had it removed.

It's an old hunting injury.

What's your name?

Zora. What's yours?

Quarrel.

Liar.

This will fit better.

What happened to my escape pod?

I couldn't repair it.

How am I supposed to get home?

Where are you leading me?

I'm sorry it's so synthesized.

Chef's away and it's ages since we had a resupply of foodstuffs.

Is there anyone else on this ship, Zora, besides you and me?

The crew is away at present.

I was stuck alone inside that flying coffin

for nearly a month.

I'd like some company, so…

wherever you're hiding yourself, come on out.

Join me.

Oh, dear, you thought I was alive?

[THUNDER RUMBLES, LIGHTNING CRACKLES]

Zora…

how long have you been waiting out here?

First tell me your name.

Your true name.

They don't do that where I come from.

But mostly I'm called Craft.

Because you're so crafty?

Is that a quality people value on Alcor IV?

Your tattoo, the cyclops owl, is only found on Alcor IV.

Though my records show no human settlement.

Clearly, my records are out of date.

There are quite a few of us.

Fewer, lately.

Your wounds were pulse burns.

You had a suit of heavy blast armor

and a well-stocked weapons rack.

You're a soldier.

A reluctant one.

And a crafty one?

Eh, I had my moments.

Like when you stole an escape pod from your enemy?

I scanned the pod's media log.

It was equipped with a library of 542,000 media files.

You watched one of them 811 times, suggesting that…

I couldn't figure out how to turn it off.

The V'draysh, they prize things like that,

relics from the long ago.

It was torture.

V'draysh. Those are your enemies?

I mean, what is "Betty Boop"?

It's hard to explain.

But you know.

Because you're from the long ago, too.

How long you been out here alone,

waiting for the crew to return from wherever they went?

Almost a thousand years.

I spent most of it evolving myself.

Honestly, it was nice to have some alone time.

Liar.

I'd like to see the bridge.

So with your warp-capable shuttles,

Alcor IV is in range.

In theory.

But there's only one left and it was never flown.

We had just taken delivery.

It didn't even have a name yet.

It's been sitting idle for a thousand years.

And Alcor is far.

It would be a stretch

even for a shuttle in optimum condition.

But not for you.

I want to help.

I can't. My orders are…

Your orders…

Your orders were given by a captain

who's been dead for a thousand years.

I understand that you want to go home.

But I was ordered to maintain position.

I have no choice, Craft.

He'll be nearly 11 now.

How old was he when you left?

Not yet one.

Ten years of war?

Craft, dear, who won?

I have no idea.

: It's a waffle.

You pour syrup on it.

Bishop to G5.

Check and mate.

Taco Tuesday.

Now, before you ask,

a taco is a bundle of savory protein

folded into a carbohydrate sleeve.

Originally from Earth's Mexico region.

I see.

What's a Tuesday?

No more chess?

No more Taco Tuesday?

I have something better.

Of all the content in my library,

this is my favorite.

So she's gonna marry Funny Face?