Spring Break

Well, you gotta get away, gotta go and play

Gotta find a day that's full of nothing but sun

Cruising down the street, moving to the beat

Everyone you meet is having nothing but fun

Leave it all behind you

Feel those palm trees blow

The folks up north can't find you

They're outside shoveling snow

The time to move but don't be slow

On your mark, get ready to go

Lovin' with the Lauderdale ladies

Playin' in the Lauderdale sun

Lovin' with the Lauderdale ladies

And you won't be going home till you find...

Nelson,

wherever you look... skin skin skin.

Spring break in Fort Lauderdale.

250,000 kids

here for the sole purpose of partying.

Lookin' for the best, better than the rest

Put her to the test and see that she's number one...

- Hi. - Special kind of smile

Special kind of style, it's gonna be a while

Before you know how it's done

Always on the run when you're lovin'

With the Lauderdale ladies

Playing in the Lauderdale sun

Lovin'

With the Lauderdale ladies

And you won't be going home till you find the one...

- So this is it? - Ahh, nothing but the best, buddy!

Whoo!

- Humma humma humma! - Easy, big fella. Easy.

Ohh!

Come on, guys! - Nice, huh?

Yeah.

So I'm...

So where'd you hear about this place anyway,

Guinness Book of World Records?

"Hotel most resembling a refugee camp."

Excuse me, pardon me.

Sorry. He he!

All right, who's next? Hey!

Lovin' with the Lauderdale ladies

And you won't be going home

- Till you find the one. - Do you have a reservation?

About what?

I mean yes. I mean I do.

- Uh, Stern. - Stern? Okay.

Stern, uh, yes. Right.

Here you go.

- Do you want to sign in? - Why not?

I think he'd like to sign up.

Well, there's nothing wrong with having a good time.

Bing bing! Bing bing!

- That's Eesh. Ask him. - Hi there.

Hi.

Holy sh...

Viola!

Gentlemen, home!

I think somebody's using this room.

Oh, no no! Don't worry about it.

No! This... this is lickety-split.

See?

Very clean.

Over here? No problem. Two seconds... one, two,

three.

Good like brand new!

Bingo, huh?

Look... sanitized for your protection.

And over here, please.

Over here...

see? The wonderful view!

Oh, this.

Well.

Nice!

So?

Now you tip.

Oh.

- All I have is a five. - No problem.

Anything you need, you call Eesh. Anything you want, you call Eesh.

You get in troubles...

they work themselves out.

Enjoy!

Okay.

Well, I'm gonna go down to the pool,

get a beer and a hard-on.

First we take off our shoes.

Do you want help with your laces?

I'm... I'm sorry. I just still feel... funny.

Nelson, relax.

You're not funny.

So what if you took off? So what if your stepfather's mad that you took off?

Nelson, you gotta stop letting this guy push you around so much.

You weren't even there when he decided

you're supposed to work during spring break.

You had no choice!

Nelson, he was gonna make you stay there at home in the snow,

where every kit's covered up by a shirt and two sweaters.

We're talking cruel and unusual punishment here

just to work on his goddamn campaign.

Campaign? It's not even off the ground yet.

Shit.

Nelson, we're college students.

College students don't work during spring break. It's unnatural.

We're supposed to go fucking crazy.

College students are supposed to go fucking crazy during spring break

because after college is over, they're never expected to ever again.

This is your chance. Don't blow it.

If you don't go crazy down here,

then you are crazy!

All right, all right, all right!

Oh, buddy buddy buddy, this is gonna be great!

Come here! Hurry up, will ya?

Hey, man, do you mind? I've been sweating my ass off since Gainesville.

Go ahead.

Beer is like...

fucking great, you know?

Welcome to Florida.

Whoa! Stand up and cheer.

Aww, sheesh.

Isn't your air conditioning working right?

It's you that's not working right, Eddie.

I can see why my brother died young.

What I can't see is why he married you in the first place.

Why did he?

I'm busy. What do you want?

Guess what? I still got a hot buyer for this dump.

You can turn around and march your ass out of here.

I'm not selling this hotel.

You sure? Heh heh heh!

You may not have to sell.

Maybe it'll just be taken away from you.

Will you get out of here?

I was talking to Philly Kaufman down at the bank today.

I bet you didn't know that Philly Kaufman and I

are old poker buddies, did you?

Well, Philly says you're way behind in your mortgage payments.

I'm always behind before spring break

and I'm always paid up when it's over.

Well, God forbid something should happen to close you down

- before you could pay it up. - Will you get out of here?

My sister-in-law Geri Potmore; my friend Mr. Ames.

- Pleasure. - Charmed.

- Another poker buddy? - Close enough.

I thought Ames would take an interest in going over the place.

He takes a professional interest. He's got a professional right.

He belongs to the Unsafe Buildings Commission.

My ID.

Okay. Go inspect.

Heh heh heh. Thanks, Ger.

- What an asshole. - Really.

- Oh, sorry. - Why?

You hit the nail right on the head.

What can I do for you fellas? Nothing too tough though, okay?

Nah, we have reservations.

Oh, hi.

Suitcase. Catch you later.

- Hey hey! - Pleasure.

- Excuse me, excuse me. - Pardon me.

- Popular room. - Too popular.

It's a nice one, huh?

Swell.

- Yeah, hi, this is room 21. Oh yeah, right... Stern.

No, see, we got a problem. This is Stu Molinera

- and you gave the room to me. - But Stern's in there.

- That's the problem. - Just a sec. Let me check.

I really need this.

Oh, honey, I'm sorry. I've got a lot on my mind.

I don't know what to say. Every room in town is booked.

- So what are you gonna do? - Send up some extra towels?

I can't fucking believe this.

- Yo, OT! - Everything settled?

I haven't even sat my ass down yet and bang! A hassle.

That's bullshit. This is my vacation.

Isn't it funny how well hassles travel?

You know what my vacation was last year?

Working one job instead of three.

I mean, I've been saving money for two years to come down here.

You know what it's like saving money in New York?

It's like making it with your sister... it's just not done.

Whoa, is that one hot sun out there.

So what's the story?

The story is we got "el shafto grande."

We have nowhere to go.

- Fuck it. - Man, what do you mean, "Fuck it"?

We're here.

You're right.

When you're right you're right, and you are right, brother.

Wait a minute. I think it's great that you guys are so right,

- but what are you talking about? - Stayin'.

- I know, but where? - Here.

- What? - What are we supposed to do?

Sleep in the fucking car?

I mean, come on. What are you gonna do, throw us out?

You won't even know we're here.

Don't worry about us. You guys go swim,

- get laid, whatever. - Now wait a minute.

Stu. OT.

I'm Nelson. This is Adam.