New Girl

So they call our names and we can't decide what song to sing.

I want to do Journey, of course.

And Jess wants to Adele. Of course.

We can't decide.

Hail Mary...

We decide to do The Doors!

And we bring the house...

down.

Oh, that's the end?

Yeah. Riveting.

I like the story.

You know, The Doors?

Man, that's a nice white group.

Yeah, I love that you two are dating.

Well, Cece and I have moved on

to a very different and more exciting chapter.

We'd like to invite all of you to a walkthrough

of our new kitchen.

We have finally have walls. Got the walls!

Wait, you're just getting walls now?

Who's building your house...

Congress?

So relevant. To the news of today.

Mm-hmm.

Truth be told, we've had

some trouble with our contractor.

He's a real Joe Public.

Just a newspaper-and-dump kind of guy.

Robby, hey.

I haven't seen you at the marina.

Hey, Joan. I know.

I haven't been sailing much

since I broke most of my body and face.

Oh, you look good to me.

We should grab dinner.

Or breakfast.

Or both.

Uh, I don't know.

But it's really great to see you so far inland.

Great to see you, too.

Keep it moving, Joan.

Your purse don't match your bangs.

Sorry about that, Jess. Why are you sorry?

The boat lady was hit...

The boat lady was hitting on him.

Right in front of you. So?

I don't own him.

He's not the box set of Felicity.

Question, because I'm invested.

Um, are you two exclusive?

Oh, well, we haven't had Well, I mean...

A proper conversation about it. Yeah, I don't think...

There's a whole...

This feels like a private conversation...

Respectfully, I'd like to

take it slow, you know?

'Cause I'm always

diving into the deep end

in relationships

And I'd kind of like

to splash around the shallow end.

I get it. Let's just let this chicken marinate.

So, what are we looking at here?

Uh, open relationship?

Friends with benefits?

The old "dog and bone" situation?

We're just two people hanging out

in a cool and modern way.

Welcome to the future.

What exactly is

a "dog and bone" situation?

I'm assuming you-you're the bone...

You know damn well I was the bone!

Almost broke my neck.

I am terrified about what women have done to you, Winston.

We all got to get off, right?

We all got to get... I'm gonna need you to leave.

I saw that coming.

Ooh! Officer and a Gentlemen!

Yes.

Nice.

Um, Die Hard 2!

I truly love pre-movie trivia.

Me, too, and I love seeing the local advertisements.

I like knowing who's hot in the teeth-whitening game.

Also, Robby, I just want to say

I'm really happy we're both on the same page

about taking it slow.

I feel really great about it. Me, too.

And, actually, I got a date this weekend.

Really?

With the boat lady?

Oh, no, it's a woman I work with

at the factory, Babs.

You work in a factory?

Well, no, actually, um, I design them.

Oh, well, that's not fascinating at all.

That's fresh from the sarcasm factory,

'cause it is fascinating.

Thought you would've mentioned that before.

You guys ask me surprisingly little

about my personal life.

You're okay with this, right?

I mean, you wanted to see other people.

Yeah. Yeah, I definitely said that.

Yeah, I actually have a date, too.

You do? Mm-hmm.

With who? Shh, trailers are starting.

Okay, this way.

Come on in.

Wait, so Robby has a date?

That was so fast.

The man didn't waste any time.

But you know what?

It's okay, 'cause I'm dating, too.

But you aren't, though.

Your guy's fake.

Can we come back to Robby

designing factories?

The man is an enigma. He's my second best friend,

and I know nothing about him.

Now, can we please focus?

We are doing a formal walkthrough.

Behold, the kitchen of tomorrow.

Where are the dang walls?!

Mr. Jason said one week at the latest.

No! No! No!

Uh, a minute alone with the boy?

Hey, bud.

Nick...

I am at my wit's end here.

Should I call the Better Business Bureau?

Better Business Bureau... That's not a real thing...

It's a very real thing and as a man

who co-owns a small business with you, I'm alarmed.

Okay, you just got to know how to talk to these people.

There's Mr. Jason over there.

See the brunette with his arms crossed?

Okay, let me take a crack at this.

And don't call men brunettes.

We've talked about this before.

That's a nice grain. Great grain.

Got to cut with the grain. Uh, always.

Watch the fingers. It's a living.

Get the hands dirty. Yeah, you know,

early bird gets the worm.

Clean your jeans.

Ask her what time it is,

she'll tell you to build a watch, you know?

Would you look at that? It's good, though. It's good framing.

Ah, it's beautiful, stuff, yeah. These guys are good.

You guys have done beautiful stuff.

Where does a modern girl go

to make a fake guy real?

That is an insane combination of words.

It's not the Internet, a bar

or a nightclub, 'cause I'm uncomfortable

with all those. You're taking

a lot of options off the table.

And are you sure you're just not scared

to get serious with Robby

because you don't want to get hurt?

No, I'm not scared, I just...

don't want to start a relationship

with someone I barely know. I mean, he has a boat.

What's next, a kid? And then I have to meet

the boat and the kid at some weird sea luncheon?

Honestly,

playing the field sounds really exciting to me.

You know, going to strange places with strange men.

Sign me up for that. You know,

that certainly sounds like you, Jess.

You know what, you should just start right now.

There's a lot of guys here.

You should go and... talk to one.

At a construction site?

We... support it.

Okay, I can't tell

if you're mocking me... but fine,

I'll go have a look around.

Fine. Fine.

I see what you did there. Yeah,

the quicker this plays out, the sooner she'll realize

how ridiculous she's being.

Now, I'm not trying to break stones over here,

but what can we do about these walls?

I can't do the walls until they do the electric,

and I can't do the electric without my guy. You got to have

your guy, I get it, but what am I gonna do?

If I could I would, but I'm not Santa Claus.

What do you want me to do? What?

Do I need to get your mother out here to do it?

'Cause I'll call your mother.

I got her in my phone. You're gonna call my mother?

Yeah, I'm gonna call your mother. All right,

you sack of crap.

I'll make a call. Thank you.

All right.

Great!

What the hell was that? Oh, he's gonna