Kickin' It

Oh yeah, waxy Wednesday,

where plastic tray meets a freshly buffed floor and legends are born.

Hey, guys. I got the tray.

- Any problem getting by Marge the lunch lady? - Nah.

She said he don't pay her enough to care.

Guys, did I miss anything?

Not yet.

Hey! Shouldn't you be in detention for putting a tolu in the boy bathroom?

I should be, but when you sit me in the back and you go window open

I must take color-flag risk.

Jack, your record's about to be broken.

Prepare for the new world champion, Milton the miso crabnic.

Dude, it's a sandwich.

Oh, look at this! I've walked into the middle of a loser-po-loser.

- What do you want Truman? - I thought I just hang out.

Do you have to do it here?

It's a free hallway Jerry.

Truman, if you escuse me. I have a date with destiny.

Oh, that would be your first date ever.

Ha ha ha ha. Very funny.

You're about to see my skin marks

Ok, I thought that gonna sound different when it came out.

Ok guys, this garbage can marked Jack's record of 47 floor tiles.

He just shattered your record.

And that paper-maseille solar system outside the science room.

It looks like somebody greased this tray.

Looks like. Ha ha ha ha!

Looks like Saturn's now larged in the dark side of the moon.

Hold on.

Something's different. Wait, don't tell me.

New bathrobe.

It's my hair. This is what I get for showering.

Rudy, what kind of shampoo are we using?

That's the same shampoo we always use.

What? This isn't shampoo.

It's pink hair dye.

Dude, do you shampoo your leg hair?

Bro, when I shampoo, I'm all in.

Love your new look!

Awesome. Just awesome.

I know you did this, Truman.

Somehow you snuck in here and switched out that shampoo for pink hair dye.

- what? - No, it wasn't Truman.

I've been here all day and I never once saw him ooze his way in here.

Looks like I've got an airtight alibi.

See ya around, pinky.

Pinky?

Why would anyone call me "pinky"?

Ow!

Oh, I get it.

- Flawless. - It's breathtaking.

Perfection!

I don't know what we're looking at.

It's a single grain of rice.

I spent over $1,000 on it.

A tibetan monk spent a year engraving.

- The Wasabi code on it. - Mmm.

I once wrote my name on a corn dog with mustard.

But then I ate it, so I really can't prove it.

Lonnie, you could never appreciate.

Such a precious piece of art.

- You own a reptile store and your car has a tail. - Hmm.

Oh no. No no no no.

- That did not just happen! - It sure did.

- Well, we'll see you around. - No no no no!

No no, you open your girlfriend's mouth

- 'cause I'm going in! - Just relax.

- It'll come out in her poop. - How long is that gonna take?

Well, Brazilian monkey lizards usually go once a year,

And she just went, so a year.

No no no, I... I can't wait a whole year.

You know what? We have to trick her.

Into thinking that the seasons are changing.

Are you insane?

You seriously think you can outsmart a lizard?

It sleeps in a sock and its best friend is a stick,

So I'm gonna go with "yes."

Wait, what was that?

It sounded like that thing just laughed at me.

Don't be ridiculous. Lizards don't know how to laugh.

You are so bad.

Come on, people! Let's make some noise!

As the Captain of our pep squad,

Kim Crawford leads out our championship girls' basketball team.

The seaford.

Lady whales!

All right, girls, when I break through that paper,

I want you guys to keep going, throw your hands up in the air.

And pep that crowd up! Come on, everyone!

Pep pep pep!

Come on!

Oh!

Look like you got yourself into sticky situation.

Okay.

- I love the fall. - Mmm.

I can't believe it's Thanksgiving already.

But I guess that's what happens when time passes.

And the seasons change.

Almost makes you wanna poop.

Do not rush it.

Now let's eat.

Mmm. How's the Turkey?

I don't know. The stuffing's pretty good.

Eh, it's lenore's favorite. It's got meal worms in it.

Check it out... Heather Clark.

Oh, she's reading the note I left in her locker,

Which means she's gonna come over here.

Pit crew, go go go go.

- Roll roll roll roll. - Wait wait wait.

A final touch... a splash of cologne.

Ah.

What the...

Oh! Someone put bleu cheese in my cologne.

I can't stand bleu cheese.

Remember what happened when he smelled it at...

Whoa, don't... don't hurl, man. Or think about hurling.

- Or the taste in your mouth you get right before... - Shut it!

Hey, Jack, I got your note. I thought it was really sweet.

Eww!

You just yakked on my shoes!

It's a category 5 hurl-icane!

Guys, we all know Truman's behind all these pranks.

We just gotta figure out how he's doing it.

Grease, hair dye, sticky paper and bleu cheese...

Sounds like my grandmother's medicine cabinet.

Truman's picking us off one by one.

He's got all of us, except for...

- Eddie. - What are you guys saying?

We're saying you're next.

If I were you, I'd roll myself up in bubble wrap and sit in the basement.

I did that when my father showed me my own birth video.

Do you guys have any idea where we come from?

My mother told me it was a Pumpkin patch.

I wish.

I think what Eddie needs to hear.

Is that we're gonna be there for him.

Guys, guys, I can take care of myself.

No no no, don't worry, Eddie. We'll protect you.

We'll walk you to school in the morning...

And after school we'll walk you back home.

We'll be the last thing you see at night.

And the first thing you see in the morning.

How do you like your eggs?

Guys, stop!

I can't take it anymore!

It wasn't Truman who pulled those pranks on you.

- Well, then who was it? - It was me.

What?

Eddie, why would you prank us like that?

Do you know what you did to me? That paper was so sticky,

I lost four freckles and half an eyebrow.

And a clown keeps following me around.

Asking me where I get my hair done.

I didn't want to.

Truman's been blackmailing me.

How is he blackmailing you?

Truman's father owns the security company that watches the mall.

- So? - One night

Rudy let me stay late in the dojo to work on some moves.

The thing is I wasn't working on karate moves.

May I have this dance?

You put on that cherry lip gloss for me?

Truman saw everything from his father's office.

He put it on a flash drive.

And unless I do whatever he says,

He's gonna put it on the Internet.

- I'm sorry, guys. - It's okay, Eddie.

He's not gonna get away with it.

Truman's gonna be sorry he messed with us.

When you poke a bear, do you know what happens?

Seriously, does anybody know?

Brr! Whoa.

What are you guys doing in here?

Just celebrating Christmas with a monkey lizard.

Waiting for it to poop out something that belongs to me.

Oh, right on. Wait.

How do you know the lizard's not Jewish and celebrates hanukkah?