Hammer House of Horror

Terence?

Terence!

William?

What are you doing?

William?

William!

Terence...

his face,

it's like hatred.

He's dead.

I know what a busy woman you are, Mrs Morton, but James won't be long.

Nurse Foster's packing his case,

making sure he hasn't forgotten any of his little treasures.

There's no hurry, Matron. I've taken the whole clay off.

Oh, splendid.

Mind you, if you knew some of the little horrors,

you'd be amazed they are capable of such an innocent sound.

You do a wonderful job here.

Oh. That's very kind of you to say so.

But I've heard you do some excellent work for charities yourself, Mrs Morton.

The Trust was very grateful for your handsome check.

- It was the least we could do. - Perhaps.

Anyway, you'll have no problem with young James.

His parents were good, solid,

professional people.

Well, there we are, young man.

- All packed and ready to go. - Hello, James.

Hello, Mrs Morton.

After all you've seen of Mrs Morton,

I thought it would be "Mother" now.

Be a good boy. Don't let me down. And I'll come and see you very soon.

Goodbye, Matron. Thank you for all you've done for me.

Isn't he sweet?

- So polite... like a little old man. - Mind your head, James.

Matron, isn't he a little old for that rabbit?

Bugsy? Oh, he's just for comfort.

As a matter of fact, he only took to him

after he'd been to see you for those few weeks.

Did he say Why?

No, and I didn't ask.

There's no point in trying to fathom boys of his age.

Be patient. He'll soon grow out of it.

Yes. Yes, I'm sure you're right.

Keep in touch, James. Let me know how you're all getting on.

Well, we're nearly there.

Looking forward to going home?

- I think I am. - Think?

I shall miss Matron.

And some friends.

Well, when school starts, you'll make lots of new friends.

What shall I do in the holidays?

Your father and I are rather busy at the moment, which is unfortunate, but...

I'm sure you'll find things to do. You can explore the countryside,

take Nipper for a walk.

What a horrid place!

It's only a churchyard.

Why are all the graves so old?

Except that one.

Aghh!

Oh, my God!

I'm so sorry, James.

I don't know what it was.

I just couldn't get the steering wheel to...

Well, it... just wouldn't...

Do what it was told?

Yes, that's right.

After they died, Mother and Father were cremated.

Why did you say that?

I don't know, really.

Whiskers, you're doing very well.

Yes, you're exceeding all reasonable expectations.

In we go.

That's it.

There we are.

You carry on the good work.

I'm relying on you.

We've had your room redecorated since you were last here.

- Do you like the wallpaper? - It's very nice.

Terence, your father, bought that crane at Harrods.

Well, that's a famous department store in London.

It was very kind of him. You're both very kind.

James, please don't say things, unless...

Unless what, Mrs Morton?

Unless what?

Never mind. Doesn't matter.

- Well, aren't you going to put that rabbit down? - Yes, when he's settled in.

Of course. We'll be eating soon.

- I hope you're hungry. - Have you seen my jackknife?

Have you got a jackknife?

Matron gave me a list of all your things.

No.

No jackknife.

Unless you had it hidden away. I know what boys are like.

I wouldn't do that.

It would be dishonest. If it isn't written down there,

I suppose I couldn't have had one.

Right.

Well, er... wash your hands and face, and then come down.

Whichever way I pulled the wheel, it was...

as if it wanted to...

Do what?

Oh, I don't know. It sounds so silly, but...

it felt as if I was struggling with...

No, against.

- Against what? - I don't know.

We were passing a church.

Laurie, it was a fault in the steering or oil on the road, that's all.

Look, I'm not a mechanic, I'm a botanist.

I'll get Bob Thornton from the garage to have a look at it tomorrow.

Can I take your car tomorrow?

I've got a dockland committee at eleven,

then straight on to a reception for the Asian refugees.

Fine. I'm here all day.

I've got a couple of officials from the World Food Council coming over

Just to have a look around, but I think they'll be rather impressed.

Whiskers has put on 143g in a week.

Oh, good.

Terence?

- Terence! - What?

- You will keep an eye on James, please. - Of course I will.

Laurie, I'm absolutely ravenous.

OK.

Hey.

Come on.

Whiskers! Come on.

Hungry?

Very hungry.

Go and sit down and talk to your father.

It'll be in in a minute.

Nipper, basket, come on.

Hello, James. Sorry I wasn't around when you got in.

There was some work I had to finish off before tomorrow.

- I'm afraid it's rather a busy time for me. - Mrs Morton did explain.

Yes?

Good.

I was sorry to hear about the trouble in the car.

Your mother tells me you didn't turn a hair, hmm? Good for you.

I wasn't at all frightened. I don't know why.

Good.

Urn... do you think you can put your rabbit down now, James? We're going to eat.

We scientists have got a thing about cleanliness.

He is a little grubby.

He's special.

Well, yes, I can see that.

What do you call him?

"Horace."

Why did you say that?

He's not called "Horace".

I distinctly remember Matron referring to him as "Bugsy".

He's called "Horace" now.

I've just changed his name.

Why? Why have you just changed his name?

It just came into my head when Mr Morton asked.

A chap's perfectly entitled to change his favourite rabbit's name.

I change my rabbits' names all the time.

One day he can be a Bert, or a Bob,

and then he puts on a bit of weight,

looks more aristocratic, and so I rename him: "Cedric".

Yes. What about those steaks?

James, did you know two-thirds of the world's population have never seen a steak?

No, I don't think I did.

Well, two-thirds of the world's population are protein-starved.

I'm going to try and do something about that. Protein makes you grow.

I grow protein-rich plants.

Odd-looking things. Someday I'll let you see one.

Remember I told you last time you were here,

you must never go into my laboratory on your own.

You understand?

Is it dangerous in your laboratory?

No, it's just that the plants are delicate and valuable.

One day a lot of people from Africa, or wherever, might put on a bit of weight

through eating my plants.

That's very interesting.

Yes.

Well, they're not as appetizing as a steak, so tuck in, eh?

Would you mind if I didn't eat mine?

- Oh, James, you said you were hungry. - I am.

You don't like meat, is that it?

No, I just don't like these things in it.

Oh! Oh, how disgusting!

Oh, God, what the hell...?

Oh. Give me your plates.

James?

Yes, Mrs Morton?

You were in the kitchen. You pulled out the grill pan.

I was hungry. I'm still hungry.

- Laurie, you're not suggesting... - I am not suggesting anything!

I'm sorry.

I've got something for you.

A surprise.

There. Isn't he nice?

Well, what shall we call him?

I don't know. Perhaps you can think of something.

Oh. Well, I thought something might just come to you, like it did earlier.

No, nothing’s coming to me at the moment,

except a funny feeling.

What sort of funny feeling?

I think he's a rather unhappy rabbit.

Unhappy? WW?

It's not his face.