The Big Show Show

- -

And that's why I named my eighth poodle

- after my fourth husband. -

That's great, Dorothy,

but you know the ding just means the passenger seat belt sign is off,

not that it's time to share.

- - Not in my day!

So, what brings you to Tampa, Lola?

Um, I'm actually moving there to live with my dad.

He just retired.

Oh! What did he do?

He was kind of an entertainer.

Ooh... Like Celine Dion?

- -

- - Look at that!

The Big Show has won

- the US title! -

- - Yep, just like Celine Dion.

- - If Celine Dion ate an entire Vegas buffet

- of Celine Dions. -

So now your dad's retired, what is he doing?

I think he's got his hands in a lot of stuff.

Done, boom, yes!

- Dad, this is not a French braid. -

Oh, man, I don't know why this is so hard.

There's something wrong with your hair.

I used to braid Mick Foley's hair all the time.

And he loved it.

- - I've said it before

and I'll say it again.

Stop comparing me to Mick Foley.

- - Good morning. How's my Big Show?

And my little show... Oh.

So, I went on this amazing run this morning

and I tried to jog through the Starbucks drive-through again.

- - Got into a real spicy conversation

with the manager.

Long story short,

we are banned from that Starbucks.

But that's my favorite Starbucks!

They always sneak me day-old cake pops.

- - Well, if you wanna go there,

you'll have to wear a disguise.

Look at me.

What kind of disguise could I possibly wear?

Shrek? Hulk?

Kool-Aid Man? Giant potato?

I could do this all day.

You know what, there's a Starbucks near the airport.

Ooh, yeah, about that, I can't go to the airport today

to pick up Lola with you.

No! You have to!

Lola's not just visiting this time,

she's actually moving in with us. Everything has to be perfect!

- And it will be! Don't worry. -

Just you being there will be enough.

No, it won't! I need you.

You class me up, Cassy.

You talked me out of wearing cargo shorts for our wedding.

- - But not to the reception.

- - Look, I'm sorry I can't go with you,

but I have a really good reason.

I finally got the Litman listing.

The house where the old lady died? Isn't that place super haunted?

That's just a myth that turned out to be true.

- - Look, no one's ever been able

to sell that place.

I sell it, I finally get my face on a bus bench.

You know, I've had my face on a bus bench.

It sucks. It's just butts, all day long.

ADB. All Day Butts.

- -

Can I go to the airport?

I love the smell of jet fuel in the morning.

Uh, no, JJ, you can go to school.

I'm just psyched to be getting a big sister.

What are you talking about?

You already have a big sister.

Me!

Oh, my God, I am losing my identity.

Guys, MSS

is a legit problem.

- - MSS?

Middle Sister Syndrome.

It's real and it affects one in three children

- of three-children households. -

Okay, I think we're being a little dramatic.

Dramatic?

I am not dramatic.

Do you all really think that I'm dramatic?

Tell me right now or I will run away forever.

Nobody say anything,

- let's see if she's bluffing. -

Okay, we have a few minutes before school.

I think I know who will cheer you up, if you're game, Doctor Mandy.

Seriously? Do we have time?

Oh, we'll make time.

- - Doctor,

there's something terribly wrong with our patient!

- - You just gave her the one dose, right?

- -

Need more candy!

Run! It's Giant JJ!

- - Need more candy!

- -

Need more candy!

Candy!

- -

Okay, today's the day.

We gotta tell Mandy she's moving in with JJ,

and give her room to Lola.

Do we have to? She is scary.

Especially when she goes into silent mode.

- - Please, I'm not scared of a tween.

I'm only scared of two things:

mascots and shopping for jeans at Banana Republic.

Hey, what's up?

Mandy!

Your mom wants to talk to you.

- - That is a straight up lie.

- -

Okay.

I'm the dad and what I say goes. Lola's getting your room.

You know, 'cause Lola's only spent summer vacations with us.

- -

You know, 'cause we promised she'd have her own room?

Okay, great talk, honey. Love you!

Ooh!

- That was tough to watch. -

She crushed you.

- - You need a hug?

Yes, please.

- -

I know that sneeze.

- - JJ!

Oh, hey, Dad.

So before you get upset, just hear me out.

- I got nothing. -

I just wanted to come pick up Lola with you.

"Aw, JJ!

That's so sweet!"

- - You can't do your own reaction.

And you can't skip school.

You're in a lot of trouble, young lady.

I brought a confetti cannon.

You're in a little less trouble, young lady. Come on!

- - Hey!

You're that wrestler guy.

John Cena.

- - John Cena?

Do I look like a guy that wakes up twice a night to moisturize?

- - Dude, this is The Big Show.

Yes, I'm a huge fan!

Officer Lance Johnson.

Can I have your autograph?

Hit the bricks, Johnson. My dad's a busy man.

- - No, I'm not.

It'd be my pleasure. I'd do anything for the police.

Anything?

Yeah, so my mom got this killer job and moved to Belgium.

Oh, so she's in the waffle industry?

Don't think that's a thing.

- Wish it was, though. -

But, anyways, that's why I'm moving here.

To live with my dad, stepmom and half sisters.

Well, that's a big change.

I'm actually super excited about it.

The weather is amazing.

My dad said I have my own room,

and there's a girl's hockey team at my new school.

Oh, you play hockey?

Dorothy, I'm from Minnesota.

- We learn hockey before we learn math. -

- - So, is your dad picking you up?

No, I'm just gonna Uber. I don't need anyone to pick me up.

Plus, I know

he would make a big deal out of... Dad?

Hi, sweetie.

- - Surprise.

What is happening?

- - Also, why is it happening?

- - Ah, he wanted me to hold him like a baby.

It happens sometimes with fans.

I know I'm a cop, but I've never felt so safe.

Welcome to Tampa, Lola!

Hey, JJ!

- -

- - Lola, hi!

- You cut your hair. - Cassy!

- You noticed. -

I noticed, too.

It's rounder and hairier.

- - I just didn't say anything.

- Because I'm lying. -

Where are your bags?

The airline's lost 'em.

The guy at the counter did say they would be delivered today.