Gilmore Girls

Please, Luke. Please, please, please.

How many cups have you had today?

- None. - 'Plus.'

five, but yours is better.

- You have a problem. - Yes, I do.

'Junkie.' - angel.

You've got wings, baby.

Luke's?

Yeah.

You make that look really good.

Oh, it is really good. It's the best coffee in town.

- Oh, yeah? I'll get a cup. - Good plan.

Yeah, I've never been here before.

Just, uh, passing through on my way to Hartford.

You're a regular Jack kerouac.

Yeah.

You mind if I sit down?

Oh, you know what? Actually, I'm meeting someone so I..

- I'm Joey. - Okay.

- What? You don't have a name? - No, I do have a name.

I just, I'm really meeting someone, so..

So I guess I should get going.

- So soon? - What?

I'm just screwing with your mind.

It's nice to meet you. Enjoy Hartford.

Enjoy your coffee, mystery woman.

Hm. I like that.

Hey. It's freezing.

Oh, what do you need? Hot tea, coffee?

- Lip gloss. - Aha.

I have vanilla, chocolate, strawberry

and toasted marshmallow.

Anything in there not resembling a breakfast cereal?

Yes.

It has no smell but it changes colors with your mood.

Rupaul doesn't need this much makeup.

Well, you're crabby.

I'm sorry. I lost my Macy gray cd and I need caffeine.

- I have your cd. - Thief.

Sorry, I'll get you some coffee.

What? It's not for me. It's for Rory, I swear.

- You're shameless. - Look, officer krupke.

She's right at that table, right over there.

Ah. He's got quite a pair, this guy.

Thanks.

Yeah, I've never been through here before.

Oh, you have, too.

- Oh, hi. - Oh, hi.

You really like my table, don't you?

I was just, uh..

Getting to know my daughter.

- Your.. - Are you my new daddy?

Wow. You do not look old enough to have a daughter.

No, I mean it. And you do not look like a daughter.

That's possibly very sweet of you. Thanks.

So... daughter.

You know, I am traveling with a friend.

- She's sixteen. - Bye.

Drive safe.

- Here you go. - Thanks.

Independence inn, Michel speaking.

No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

We have a wedding party here.

No, there is really nothing I can do.

Yes, I'm sure.

Positive.

No, I don't have to look, ma'am, I...

Yes, of course I'll look.

No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

'Oh, no, don't move.'

just ignore the tiny woman pushing

the 200-pound instrument around.

'No, this is good, I like this.'

after this I'll, uh, bench press a piano, huh?

Oh, that's it, lady, tie your shoe now.

Yeah, don't worry, I'll wait.

Hi, drella, hi.

I was just wondering, um, could you be, uh, nicer to the guests?

I'm sorry. Did you not want a harp player?

Yes, I did.

And did you not want a great harp player?

Yes, I did.

Okay. I am a great harp player.

And this is my great harp, okay?

So if you're looking for someone to be nice to the guests

get a harmonica player.

Maybe someone who whistles through his nose.

Okay? Capisce?

Oh, that is a great spot for a table. Decorator's a genius.

Madame, you have no idea how desperately I'd like to help.

But see, I'd have to build a room for you myself

and I'm not a man who works with his hands.

So the best I can do is suggest that you

please try for another weekend. Any weekend.

Ah, good, fine, the twenty-first.

Hold on, I'll look.

No, I'm sorry, we're completely booked.

Has the plumber attended to room four yet?

He was here, he did nothing, it's a hundred dollars.

Hi, Marco, Lorelai. Talk to me about room four.

What was wrong with it?

Uh-huh? I thought you replaced that already.

Well, because you told me you did and I never forget anything.

So this one's on you, right?

Pleasure doing business with you.

What is your offspring doing?

I need stamps. Can I have these?

- No. - Take them.

- What's with the muumuu? - Stop.

I'm just saying, you couldn't find one made of metal

in case anyone has X-ray eyes?

And now we say goodbye.

Have Michel look at your French paper before you go.

- Excuse me? - That'd be great.

- No. - Come on, Michel.

I'll tell all the ladies what a stud you are.

Hm. I believe that memo has already been sent.

Oh, please, Michel. Pretty please with Sucre on top.

I will stop talking like this.

Leave it. I'll look at it if I get a chance.

It's due tomorrow. Pay special attention to the grammar.

- I despise you. - Hm.

When are you gonna let your parents know

that you listen to the evil rock music?

You're an American teenager, for god's sake.

Rory, if my parents still get upset over the obscene

portion size of American food, I seriously doubt

I'm gonna make any inroads with eminem.

- I have to go to that. - The hayride? You're kidding.

My parents set me up with the son of a business associate.

He's gonna be a doctor.

- How old is he? - Sixteen.

So he's gonna be a doctor in a hundred years.

Well, my parents like to plan ahead.

God, you have to go to the hayride with him?

- And his older brother. - Oh, now you're kidding.

Koreans never joke about future doctors.

So, I guess you're not going, huh?

No, I'm still fuzzy on what's fun about sitting in

the cold for two hours with some sticks up your butt.

Don't expect me to clear it up for you.

For those of you who have not finished

the final chapters of huckleberry Finn

'you may use this time to do so.'

'for those of you who have, you can start on your essay now.'

'whichever task you choose, do it silently.'

Maybe it's a love letter.

- Or her diary. - Could be a slam book.

It's the assignment.

- Nice, huh? - Beautiful.

Yeah, well, tell it to the tip jar.

Take Mrs. Langworthy's bags up to 314.

Make sure the drapes are closed and there's extra soap

and she wants her pillow mints now.

- Sookie! - 'I'm okay, I'm okay.'

'what did you do now?'

oh, why aren't you watching her?

Eh, no, she's this. Bad food in the head.

Oh.

I need you to be more careful.

I know, I'm sorry. Hey, I fixed the peach sauce.

That's blood, you're bleeding. Why are you bleeding?

Oh, my stitches opened. I was using too much maple syrup.

- It strangled the fruit. - When did you get stitches?

- Friday night. Radish roses. - Okay, stop moving.

You gotta taste the sauce.

You have to try it while it's warm.

Okay. Oh, Sookie, I need you to be more careful.

I need there to be fewer accidents.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Oh, dear god almighty. That's incredible.

I want to put it on the waffles for breakfast.

- I wanna bathe in that sauce. - I will make more.

Someday, when we open our own inn.

Diabetics will line up to eat this sauce.

- Won't that be great? - Yeah.

But the key to someday achieving that dream

is for you to stay alive, so we can open an inn.

- Do you understand? - Yes, I understand.

- Alright. - Mm-hm.

So, now, let's get you up and to the doctor on three.

- One, two, three. - Ow!

- What? - Stepped on my thumb. I'm fine.

On three. Okay.

Was it a good color at least?

- It had sparkles in it. - Wow.

And it smelled like bubble gum when it dried.

Well, there's no way Mark twain can compete with that.