Return To Splatter Farm

This is it.

Here, hold the flashlight.

Whoa.

We're in.

Oh yeah, whoa, we're in.

A barn.

What?

It's an old barn.

Do you really expect me to get excited about this?

Come on, babe.

This is where it all happened.

Those murders back in the 80s.

Corpses and body parts everywhere.

And they never found the killer.

And I suppose we're the first ones

to set foot in here ever since.

You know what, Penny?

You can be a real pain in the ass sometimes.

Look, we'll have a quick look around,

and if we don't find anything cool, we can leave.

Okay?

Fine, Rod.

If it gets it out of your system...

I suppose you want to climb up there and check it out?

You said it.

Not!

That's obviously rotted wood.

What do you think I am, stupid?

Let's just go check out the house.

Okay.

The inside of this place is disgusting too.

What do you expect?

No one's been here in decades.

- Well, I suppose they don't get Wi-Fi here.

Wait, point it back in that direction.

I thought you said this place was abandoned.

Someone's been here.

- It was probably just a drifter off the street

who needed a place to stay and stayed here and then left.

- Why didn't they dust off the couch and sleep there?

Beats me.

I don't like this.

Maybe we should go.

Let's just look around a little longer.

Oh my God.

What was that?

Where'd it come from?

I don't know.

It was probably nothing.

Let's just go upstairs.

I don't think so.

I'm leaving right now!

Ah, screw it, I'm gone too.

Babe?

Babe?

Crap!

Come on.

Jeez, Brad!

Take it easy on the pedal!

Like, look what you made me do!

Classic.

- Yeah, well, laugh it up, you big dumb jock.

Whatever, man.

Is everyone all right back there?

Did everyone survive the curb?

Yeah, I'm fine.

You big dumb, jock.

Ladies?

Me?

I'm good.

My makeup doesn't smear.

Bobbi?

Hey Bobbi, Earth to Bobbi.

What?

- I was asking if you were all right, I guess so.

Oh no, I'm fine.

Hey, I think we're only a few miles from the farm now.

Good, 'cause I'm tired of driving,

and we need to get some more gas too.

- Oh, and we need more beer, that's for sure.

- Why don't you just stick to your makeup, Barbie.

Well, it looks like everything we need

to drive is over here.

Didn't you hear me?

I said I'll only be a minute.

I'll come in too.

- I'm only going in to pick up a couple of things,

and I'll be right out.

No need to get out of the car.

Cliff.

We go through the same routine every time.

You wind up fiddling around in there for like 20 minutes,

and I wind up sitting in a hot car.

Not today.

- Every time we go in there, you end up wandering off.

I do not!

You're being silly,

Ha, serves you right!

Why don't you fix that?

I did fix it.

Fine job you did.

Will you stop nagging?

- What is all that stuff you keep shoving in there anyways?

Ropes, knives, camping gear, a moose gun.

What are we survivalist in the Outback?

It's an army issue flare gun.

Just goes to show what you know.

Dude.

Did you see that woman in the parking lot?

Oh yeah.

Now that is what I call a MILF, ugh.

Bro.

The very definition.

But how does a guy like him end up

with a fine piece like her?

I don't get it.

No surprise.

You never get it.

Yeah, real funny, dude.

Bro, how do you think?

It's the money, the green, the moola.

Oh yeah.

Hey there, pretty lady.

What you thinkin' of buying?

I'm just looking.

We're not gonna be here long.

We just came to pick up gas and booze.

Booze, huh?

Why not just buy some beer right now?

We can hang out for a while.

You don't waste any time, do you?

The name's Josh.

- Well, Josh, I'm here with my boyfriend, so...

So, I don't see him around.

So, what do you say?

- He's like, just down one of these aisles, so...

Beat it.

Now that ain't a friendly way to talk.

I said beat it.

Hey, this guy bothering you?

Josh here was just leaving.

Good for him.

- Me and the lady were just having a conversation, sport-o.

Hey man, get lost.

Care to repeat that?

I said get lost, grease monkey.

You're lucky.

Come on, baby.

See ya, sport-o.

- So you mean to tell me you really own that old place?

Yeah, that's right.

That's some inheritance.

What do you mean?

Nothing, nothing.

I mean, well, I just can't picture a young girl

like you living in that old farmhouse,

all isolated out in the middle of nowhere.

- Well, I haven't decided if I'm going to move there.

I'm just going out there a few days to check it out.

Excuse me.

Did I hear you say you're heading out

to that old farmhouse down the road a piece?

Yeah, that's right.

And you own that now?

Right again.

- You wouldn't happen to have any proof on that, would you?

I know, it's an odd question, but...

Is something going on up here?

Is there a problem?

I mean, we have ID.

No, no problem.

Just get concerned when people get roaming around

at that old place.

Lots of broken glass and rusty nails lying around.

You know?

I hope we all have our shots.