Mimics

Hey.

Virginia?

Hey.

Hey.

Virginia.

Virginia.

Hey.

Hey.

No, no, no, no, no, no.

No.

Help.

Jesus.

- Tonight you will be part of big stage history

as we welcome back the king of comedy himself,

Dom Fletcher.

"Per your contract,

you are required...

Ha.

...to perform tonight."

I won't.

I won't come on stage.

Mr. Fletcher.

Mr. Fletcher, you're on.

I'm not.

- Mr. Fletcher, hello?

They want a performance,

I'll give them a performance.

There is Dom Fletcher.

Thank you.

Thank you, no, thank you.

And now for my final act.

- If you loved our last performer, Layne Brown,

you're in for a treat.

A homegrown talent, a Reno boy through and through,

please put your hands together for Sam Reinhold.

Hey, hey, hey.

Hi everybody, Sam Reinhold.

And in honor of the late great Dom Fletcher,

I brought to the stage a little friend of mine,

his name is Eugene.

Why, hello y'all, I'm Eugene.

Eugene and I are gonna do a little performance for you.

I'm gonna start with some impersonations.

Back in the day, Marlon Brando,

before he became Marlon Brando, tried out to be Yogi Bear.

Remember the cartoon?

This is how that audition sounded.

Hey, boo-boo.

Hey boo-boo, let's go steal some picnic baskets.

Listen, Mr. Ranger, I'm not your average bear.

Boo-boo.

- Keep your day job.

Okay.

Now, for a little Sean Connery.

There's only five things I like

better than sex in the evening.

Sex in the morning, sex after breakfast,

sex during lunch, sex before dinner, and sex during sex.

The name is Bond, James Bond.

Hello, Miss Moneypenny.

- Your Connery blows.

Thanks, Mrs. Winslow.

Ah, look at that, you got a new follower, Sam.

129 followers.

Good for you, fellow, good, good for you.

How does Layne Brown have 8,000 followers and you have 129?

Sammy, coffee.

Hello?

- Mr. Reinhold, do you-

- Hey, I told you to take our name off your list.

Please.

Hey, Sammy, have a super duper day at work today.

Oh, I'm running late.

- Hey, your Connery is sounding amazing.

Do not listen to Mrs. Winslow.

I loves you, Gramps.

Loves you, boy.

Bye-bye.

Bye-bye-bye-bye.

- Manager in aisle 10.

Mr. Van Sickle.

- Ah... Yeah, we only take real money here.

- Well, that's not what that says.

- Can I get security on register three, please.

Security?

Really?

Seriously, Connie?

Hi.

Yeah, we'll get all this sorted out, don't worry.

- You are the rock against which the darkness breaks.

- You are the rock against which the darkness breaks.

You are the rock against which the darkness breaks.

You are the rock,

hey, Mr. Van Sickle.

- What in the Sam Hill are you doing?

For the better part of four years,

you have wasted my time with your half-ass theatrics

and your crappy impersonations.

You talk to yourself like an idiot.

You're a slacker.

You waste my time.

When you waste my time, you waste your time

'cause your time is my time.

Here's your mop.

Oh, and one last thing, okay?

Women's bathroom, it's like a murder scene in there.

Have a super duper day.

- Well, that is some wild and crazy stuff, Ed.

That is some wild and crazy stuff.

I am the great Zambini.

- Ha-ha-ha, you are correct, Sir.

Well, thank you. Ed.

Why do you only seem real

when you're doing someone else's voice?

I don't know.

I guess I have nothing to say.

- You should have had something you say to Van Sickle today,

I know that much.

You saw that, huh?

Yep.

The guy's such a bully.

You're getting better.

At what?

Your voices.

Thanks.

Our next guest has been entertaining audiences

from Japan to Russia to-

- All right, Grandpa, I'll see you in the morning.

- Hey, Sammy, where are you going?

You always used to love to watch this show with me.

- I'm gonna go perform, I'm going to the club.

- Sammy, there are two things I remember

about my life vividly.

My fishing trips with you.

Yeah, quicksand.

I saved your life.

But I lost the boots.

There's a cost to everything.

Okay, fishing

and us watching this show together.

Come on, we never missed an episode.

All right.

I was gonna leave a little early but-

- Yeah, no. - I'll stay for a minute.

Don't forget, Sam,

it was always your dream to be right here

on The Latest Show.

Yeah, it still is.

And you're gonna make it.

Owen?

Owen, how you doing?

I'm doing fine.

So happy to be here, Jack.

Was he some kind of big deal?

- This guy? - Yeah, this guy.

- That's Dom Fletcher, this guy's a legend.

- He's been good to me. - Well,

they were playing his last episode

'cause you know, the gruesome death.

- He was an original, he was quite unique.

- Marlon Brando was the last original actor

to come outta Hollywood.

And everybody else is just imitating him.

You know, naturalism and activism and-

Naturalism and activism.

- I've been dying to ask you all these years.

- Yes, well go for it, it's your job.

Yes, yeah, yeah, it's part of the job description.

No kidding, it's his job, Dom.

What are you, choking on your own tongue out here?

You're on television.

- He doesn't mince words, doesn't he?

No, he does not, no, no.

You had a question?

- Yeah, yeah, well, I hate to say it, Dom,

but you know when you first started out-

That's rude, I'm sorry.

- You weren't exactly, how should I put this?

Refined.

- I wasn't good, Jack, you can say it.

I was crap.

Crap?

You sucked, Dom.

- I don't know if I would've put it that way exactly,

but there is some truth to that.

I'm being ganged up on here.

Yes, but you're both right, yes, yes.

Flash-forward a few years,

and then all of a sudden, bam,

you're now a ventriloquist out of nowhere