The Milagro Beanfield War

Thank you, God, for letting me have another day.

I'm not even sick!

You don't look so hot to me.

- You get yourself outta here! - Take it easy, viejo.

You should have a little more respect for your elders.

How do you know I didn't come here to help?

Well, nobody around here needs your help.

Ah?

Relax, amigo.

Relax. It's your town that's dying.

Lupita.

Lupita!

Lupita! Don Amarante de Milagro,

I see windmills on your horizon.

Lupita!

Lupita!

Ay, Lupita!

La camisa de Mario! Lupita!

Goddamn pig!

Go on! Get outta here, Lupita! Go on!

I told you you wouldn't like it.

Okay, we're open. Let's go to work.

Listos?

Where you gonna drive to, anyway?

Did you say good-bye to Lisa? Yeah.

Esperate un momento.

Esperate un momento. here, hon. There's something about this day.

Oh, come on, hon. Let a smile be your umbrella.

Oye, Ramon. Ven por aqui.

Hola, muchachos.

Como estan? Muy bien, gracias.

Bueno. It's a pretty day.

Yeah. So far.

Perro!

Heads Up!

Swing wide!

We need a flat bar over here! - What?

A flat bar!

Hey. Look at that.

- Hey, Shorty! - Yo, Joe!

You got any work for me?

Can't help ya. Sorry, Joe.

I can run a backhoe. I can lay pipe.

I'm a good finish carpenter.

What can I tell ya?

What the hell is this?

That's the future, amigo.

You can see it. Hi!

The views will just knock your eyes out.

Ladd, is this development gonna be as big as the Dancing Trout?

No. Miracle Valley, in fact, is gonna go far beyond what we've done at the Dancing Trout.

It's going to be the largest leisure-time development in the history of New Mexico.

This is the greatest thing that has ever happened,

and the city of Milagro and the people of Milagro are behind this project 100%.

Here's the water, and I can't use it.

You can't do this. You can't have that.

Dios! What's the use?

Lupita, vete por alli. Andale!

- Shit. - Que hace aqui?

Vayase de aqui! Quien le dio permiso para entrar?

- Jose! - Buenas tardes, Amarante.

Buenas tardes, Jose. I was talking to your father the other day.

He was telling me he was going to have the squash all near the house...

My father's dead. And the corn all over along the chicken coop.

Amarante! Yeah?

Amarante, my father's been dead for six years.

Yes. I know.

What are you doing here?

I'm gonna sell the place.

It's not good for anything anymore. This field's dying of thirst.

Everybody else has sold out.

Did they say you could use the water?

Aw, shit. It must've come loose when I kicked it.

I ought to shut it off, huh?

Maybe I'll sleep on it.

- Hi. - Hi.

I'm gonna get a new motor for that dryer.

- Is something wrong? - Hijita!

Estan bien, Papa.

How come we don't pick raspberries anymore?

When I was a kid, my dad used to take us up to the hills every August.

We'd pick raspberries.

Sometimes on summer nights, he'd take me out to shoot baskets.

How come I never get to do that with our kids?

I'm always too tired, too busy, too broke.

Jesus, it's always something.

Cuidado. No! Ay, ay, ay!

Good morning, Amarante. How are you?

Still living, thanks to God.

Do you know what I know? What I saw?

The devil riding a white horse through town?

A white horse, the devil.

Jose Mondragon let water into his father's bean field.

Ay, chihuahua!

I'm not saying it's good, and I'm not saying it's bad.

Ay, vieja loca!

You know, the Mexican was slurping on the soup.

And he kept saying, "how do you likey your soupy, Lupe?"

The Mexican got hot, man! He said, "Hey, man. Don't be calling me Lupe. '"

Your mother hit me with another rock.

They're just pebbles. I hid all the rocks.

Jose Mondragon is irrigating his old man's field over by the highway.

"How you likey my speechy, son of a bitchy?"

Joe Mondragon...

is irrigating his old man's bean field over by the highway!

What?

He can't do that.

Did you know Jose Mondragon was watering his father's bean field?

Que?

Sammy! Is the mayor in?

Joe Mondragon is irrigating...

I don't know what you do to your cars.

I think it's the alternator. How much is that gonna cost me?

- Hey! Where in the hell have you been? - Slow down, Sammy.

Have you heard yet? You gonna be on The Price is Right?

Joe Mondragon is cutting water into his dad's old field over on the west side.

Why would he wanna do something like that for?

What about when Devine finds out? Relax. You didn't do it.

No, but I'm the mayor!

What? Yeah.

What does that half-pint son of a bitch wanna cause so much trouble for?

I knew Jose Mondragon couldn't go through his entire life...

without attempting at least one great thing.

How come you kids are watching TV? Mom said we could!

I'm gonna have this damn thing repossessed.

I didn't raise my kids to be lapping up that garbage!

Now get out! Get out. All of you!

I never watched TV when I was a kid.

You never had a television.

Tobias called. He wants you to fix his refrigerator.

Nobody can fix that refrigerator.

What do you say you and I take a nap?

Aren't you gonna answer that?

- I don't need to. - You know already?

Everybody knows already.

I heard it from Stella Armijo and Betty Apodaca...

and Lucy Hernandez and Gloria Martinez...

and everybody else who has a telephone!

Good. We don't have nothin' to talk about.

- Maybe you should have talked to somebody before you did it. - If I had,

I'd still be talking; it's done now!

- How could you keep this from me, Joe? - I didn't wanna worry you.

Bueno, bueno!

My husband wants to get himself shot...

without giving his wife a chance to worry?

- It's my bean field, Nancy! - It's not your water!

I'm scared, Jose. I'm trembling, I'm so scared.

I'm gonna plant that bean field, Nancy. Good.

The children and I'll decorate your tombstone with beans instead of flowers.

Would you like a punch in the mouth? Go ahead.

I'll hit you so hard, they'll arrest you in El Paso for speeding.

Nobody gives a damn about a lousy bean field, Nancy.

He's irrigating parcel 1477,

which is...

right here.

It's in the middle of what's going to be the 13th fairway.

That's the only piece of property on the west side we don't own.

Then why don't you go tell him to stop, Bernie?

Because he'll tell me to go sit on a chile and go right on irrigating.

Well, then, arrest him. I don't think that is such a good idea.

Oh, I see. We just let lawbreakers go in Milagro, is that it?

Why don't we see if he needs anything out there?

Anybody here need anything?

- Okay. Bye. - Mr. Devine, I think that people will get very upset...

Aw, come on, Bernie. Nobody's gonna go off half-cocked...

just because Joe Mondragon gets arrested.

I know this town. These are my people.

Jerry, your own people would like to see you strung up by your nuts.

You're a Forest Service cop. I'm surprised that fat, green truck of yours...

doesn't blow up every morning when you step on the gas.

Look, the man cannot keep running water off, and that's it.

I wouldn't even know what to arrest him for.

Nobody even understands the water laws.

- State engineer. - What?

State engineer. It's really their problem, and the governor's.

We can't keep stalling Williams.

I promised him an okay for three test wells.

You gotta put some kind of limit on drilling permits that close to Santa Fe.

Too damn visible. Oh, shit. You want cutbacks.

Did you know Commerce just lowered our ranking again in terms of per capita income?

They did? Yes, they did.

There's a call for you. You know, Clark, you think small.

You brayed like a goddamn mule when they put in that Mesa Verde reactor!

Mesa Verde! We've already got Los Alamos, White Sands, Sandias.

Who the fuck is Joe Mondragon?

Charlie Bloom? Bloom? Yeah?

- I'm Ruby Archuleta. - Yeah, I know.

I wanna find out...

What do you know?

Oh, nothing, nothing. I, uh...

Just spendin' the afternoon, uh,

tryin' to keep old Amarante's pig out of my garden.

A good-sized rat could knock this over.

- Is there a paper coming out next week?

Probably. You takin' out an ad?

You gonna write an article about Joe's bean field?

Mmm.

Well, I don't know if I am or not, Ruby.

That's... That's kind of a touchy situation, don't you think?

Don't you think this new recreation area is a touchy situation?