Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce

Previously on "Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce"...

Abby, what if we gave this thing one more shot?

SheShe wants to start a new divorce page.

Barbara is our... your managing editor.

- I didn't mean to insult you in any way. - Listen,

let's pretend there's a door here,

and I am shutting it.

I want a huge, crazy wedding.

I'm not anybody's blushing bride.

My pastry chef was supposed to be here,

but he ended up taking the bus.

There's a guy camping in your backyard.

Scott, Abby. Abby, Scott.

I don't think it's a good idea for us making this permanent,

you know, living together.

You loaded?

Are you loaded?

You asked if I was sure.

Becca has decided not to keep the baby.

And I realized I wasn't.

So I don't think I have to tell Abby, right?

Can I talk to you outside?

Okay, the kids could come out here.

- Abby? - Oh!

_

Oh, my God, oh, my God.

- Oh, my God, oh, my God, oh, my God. - Okay, maybe she didn't...

- She definitely did. Yeah. - This is disaster.

Shit.

What if she tells Lilly or Jo?

- She's probably telling Jo right now. - You know what? You know what?

Maybe she won't tell anybody. Maybe it-it's just like a bear.

She's more freaked out than we are.

That is not possible.

We need to talk to her.

Let's level with her, and let's ask her not to tell anybody.

We cannot ask a child to lie for us.

- Terrible idea. - Okay.

Let's tell the truth. Let's tell the kids.

Let's tell the world, out with it.

I'm not ready for that, for this.

- I am sorry, and you know what, I... - No.

I hate secrets, but I need this job at SheShe.

And now, now is not the time to tell people

we're still married.

I... I need something under my feet that is not shifting.

Okay, I get it.

Okay.

I can handle a little more undercover intrigue.

- It's not forever. - I know.

Girlfriends' Guide to Divorce - 02x02 - Rule 77- Don't Blow the Bubble

Charlie, do you want bananas or raisins?

Charlie?

I am not riding with her ever.

- What? - She can't drive, hello?

She's learning, honey.

You can walk, but I'm starting my lessons on Monday.

- Morning. - Well, I'm not going to be there!

- All right. - Abby?

- Morning. - Hey, you guys,

- we're late. Let's get it going. - Yup.

Hey, dad, will you take me to the valley this weekend

- to practice driving? - Why the valley?

- Those people want to live too. - Ha, ha, ha.

They have really big, empty parking lots out there.

Sounds like a magical place.

- Yes. - Pardon me.

- Hey, do you want some help with that? - No, sir,

I am learning to be self-sufficient, remember?

You look like shit.

You're not sleeping?

What? No, I'm sleeping.

Or something. Seriously, your face is like warmed-over ass.

- Thanks. - You're welcome.

Really, tweed? I expected you to have,

- like, Puerto Rican flags or to be... - No, these belong to Zooey.

She's going to visit Frumpkis and the Wicked Witch of the South.

I thought you were moving out like an adult.

Well, finding a place in L.A. isn't as easy as you might think.

Funny, I found the Paradiso really, really fast.

Because it's corporate housing.

It's soulless stucco boxes.

Maybe that crap's good enough for you but not for my kid,

and since I'm opening a bakery in dos dias...

You don't have to move right away.

Could you say that with a little less enthusiasm, please?

Thanks.

Look, it was my idea to expand to the West Coast.

This is on me, so let me just get the doors open,

and I swear on my life I will find a place.

- Zooey, Uber's here! - Lilly...

- Bye. - Say good-bye to your mother.

Zooey, Uber's here!

- I'm here. - She's right there.

- Shut the door. Behave. Hey. - What?

Shotgun!

- Okay, I'll be right there. - Got it.

Okay, that was weird, but it wasn't like "we're in trouble"

- weird, right? - I feel like if she told,

then it would've been a whole other...

- But it was hostile. - Abby?

Abby?

May I have a word with you?

- Okay, sure. - In private?

- Of course. - Yeah, I'm gonna...

I'm got to drive the kids to school, then.

- Have a good day, Jake. - Okay.

Okay.

I know this is none of my business.

I am so sorry that you had to see what you saw,

and I'm sure it's very confusing.

Not if you and Jake are back together. Are you?

- That is a big question, and... - Oh.

And sometimes life can be very complicated.

Lilly and Charlie can't know.

They've been through this so many times.

It's not fair to the kids.

That's right.

I won't say anything.

I cannot ask you to lie for me.

I'm leaving for two weeks.

You're the one who has to lie.

Bye.

Bye.

I was literally sitting here trying to figure out

how I could get all my work done from here

in this bed with you.

Well, you do do pretty good work in bed.

I do have a meeting, though,

at 9:00, with manufacturing...

I know, about the new line.

I guess I approve.

Hey, what are we gonna eat tonight?

I was thinking Nobu?

Be a great place for our engagement party.

Did you say engagement party?

Just a few dozen friends, maybe one toast, and done.

A few dozen?

I don't have time to plan an engagement party.

Well, then why did we hire a wedding planner?

You hired her?

Jonathan is gonna take care of everything.

Your only job is to show up and marry me.

Mmm, I think I can do that.

Phoebe, I wanted to tell you how much I enjoyed the editorial

you wrote for the parent newsletter.

Oh, wow, thank you, Ellen.

I had no idea you'd gone through all that.

I'd love you to come talk to my economics class.

Most people think there's no child labor in the U.S.,

but clearly you had a different experience.

Yeah, I would be honored.

- Great. I'll email you some times. Okay. - Okay.

Thank you.

What does that even mean, "A crowded field

of vegan treateries"?

Wha... we're a vegan bakery.

- That is our brand. - Hey, Marco, it's me again.

- Uh, can you call me back? - All right.

- Thanks. - Well, you know what?

- What's going on with Marco? - Ooh.

I had a little too much to drink the other night.

Oh, okay.

And I thought it was okay with us, but I guess we're not.

Wait. What?

Oh, you want me to make the phone call for you?

Sure, yeah, I'll do your job.

On a lighter note,

Ellen Tedford asked me to speak in front of her class.

- Hey, that's awesome. - I know.

- Congratulations. - Yeah, you got it, sweetie.

Okay, bye.

Mother...

Who's that?

Idiot PR lady.

She's barely doing any press for the opening.

Apparently we're not distinctive enough.

We need a hook.

What was your hook in New York?

We sell vegan stuff, and it's frickin' awesome,

and Scott's the go-to guy in Brooklyn,

but according to asshole here,

we're late for the food-free food party in L.A.

- Scott, tent Scott? - Yes.

Do not sleep with him.

I'm serious. Goes for everyone.

I'm... Delia too.

- You tell her that. - Jeez.

He's hot as hell, but he's kind of a sex addict.

Speaking of, that's...

That's the sexy smile.

That's Will. Is that Will?

That's Will.

Sexy Will.

He adores you.

Um, yes.

Jo, what is happening with your apartment hunt?

Wow, you just can't

stop pushing me out the door, can you?

No, I... no, I was...