Desperate Housewives

Previously on...

You're awfully brave buying a place site unseen.

We could tell from the advertisement

it was just what we were looking for. Sometimes...

Who ever said you were the father?

Didn't you think it was strange that you have

the only lawn on Wisteria Lane

that needed to be mowed three times a week?

I am going to kill you!

The truth about our loved ones...

You asked Peterson's wife to make sure he wouldn't promote me

so I quit. I'm gonna be a stay-at-home dad.

We should... talk about this.

You're goin' back to work.

Can lead you into harm's way.

I think I'm having a heart attack.

You are gonna come through this operation just fine.

Hello?

Rex passed away about ten minutes ago.

I'm so sorry.

Mr. Delfino took my dad away to kill him.

Now I'm gonna kill Mr. Delfino.

It was an accepted fact

among the residents of Wisteria Lane

that ida Greenberg liked her liquor.

People had seen her drunk at sewing bees...

The department of motor vehicles...

And the first methodist church.

Mm!

Ida had tried to quit drinking many times,

but she couldn't.

Then one night in a moment of despair,

she challenged god

to quench her never-ending thirst.

Luckily for ida, god was listening.

Zach, listen to me.

No!

Not so tough now, are you?

Uh! Ow! Oh! Bongo, no!

Bongo! Bongo!

Oh!

It was at that moment it occurred to ida

god may work in mysterious ways,

but he isn't particularly subtle.

It had been a year since my death,

and a lot had changed on Wisteria Lane.

Children had learned new games.

New neighbors had moved in.

Old houses had been rebuilt...

I told you guys twice. Okay, Craig, what's goin' on?

And fresh tragedies had occurred.

In one house,

a widow was getting ready

to tell her friends of her husband's passing.

But until the time was right,

she would wait.

And life, as it tends to do,

would go on.

I look like hell. I need a hairbrush.

Yeah, um, ahem, that's not gonna help.

Susan,

officer romslove

is here for your statement.

Zach young do that?

No. She fell. Bit her lip. It was an accident.

Okay.

So, uh, walk me through what happened.

Well, I went over to Mike's to feed the dog.

I'm sorry? Feed the dog.

Uh...

And I turned around,

and there was Zach young... And that's Zach with an "h"...

Pointing a gun at me.

The doctor said keep that in.

You gotta understand, Zach's had a tough time.

He's got emotional issues... 'cause he's crazy.

Still, I don't think he meant to hurt anybody.

Uh, hello! Uh, he was waiting there for you to come home

so he could kill you.

Is that what happened when you got home?

The kid took a shot at you?

Actually, Susan fired the gun.

That's because I was wrestling it away from Zach

so that he wouldn't shoot you.

Oh, there's blood.

Could we do this later? She's kind of a mess right now.

Yeah.

Yeah, I think I can fill in the rest for you.

I'd appreciate it. You feel better, Mrs. Mayer.

Thanks.

Ow! That hurts.

I'm gonna get you more ice.

Okay.

No, I'm tellin' you.

Susan really flew off the handle when she jumped the kid.

So you're saying this was more of a domestic squabble?

Definitely, yeah.

Are we required to press charges?

Well, you're not really required,

but it's something you should really consider

when a handgun is involved.

John!

Howdid you get in here?

I know where you keep the key.

Mimosa?

No, I'm pregnant, you jackass. I made yours with seltzer.

Do you have any idea what you've done?

That little stunt you pulled yesterday in the courtroom

could get Carlos sent away for eight years.

Yeah, I thought you might be a little mad about that.

But once you calm down,

you'll see that it's just the two of us.

It's gonna be awesome.

You brought luggage?

He's gone. We don't have to sneak around anymore.

We can have a real relationship.

It's what's best for the three of us.

The three of us? How exactly does that benefit Carlos?

I'm talking about my baby.

You don't know it's your baby.

I don't even know it's your baby.

And I don't wanna know 'cause it doesn't matter.

So what, you don't love me?

Well, up until the point that you told my husband

we were having an affair, I was quite fond of you.

Since then...

Not a fan!

Hey.

Hey.

Oh, why on earth would you

let them finger paint before breakfast?

It's my job to clean that up now,

so it's my call, right?

You're right. I'm sorry.

Hey, I thought the meeting wasn't until 1.

Oh, I have a thousand things to do before that...

Borrow a decent scarf from Bree,

buy a lipstick I don't hate... mommy, mommy, look!

Aah! No! No!

No, nobody touches mommy, okay?

I love you, I love your finger painting,

but if you touch me with those messy hands,

I will cut them off. Go on. Off. Good.

It's okay.

A little nervous?

Who, me?

I've been out of work for seven years,

I'm a woman of a certain age

in a business that values youth above all else.

Why should I be nervous?

You are experienced.

You are brilliant.

You are going to nail this job interview, okay?

Thank you.

Uh, no. I can't... You're very... so...

Yeah.

Thank you. Here.

Hi.

Oh, my cell phone.

Lynette, hi, it's Bree.

I do hope I'm not calling too early.

Hmm?

Oh, of course you can borrow that scarf.

I'll press it for you.

Um, I have, uh, some news.

Rex died.

I thought they were gonna operate. What happened?

Apparently Rex's heart just gave out.

Oh, my god.

So when can we see Bree?

She said she was gonna call.

She's got a lot of things to do,

planning for the funeral, that sort of thing.

She doesn't look that busy to me.

Hi, hi. What are you doing out here?

Oh, I'm just waiting for, uh, Rex's mother.

She's gonna be here any second.

Honey, we are so sorry.

Oh, do one of you drink soy milk?

I was cleaning out the fridge this morning,

and Rex is the only one who drinks it.

I just bought it on Friday. I'd hate to throw it away.

What a waste.

Oh, sweetie.

Honey, you can let it out.

No. No, I can't afford to fall apart right now.

Why?

You're about to find out.

Bree!

Oh, stop here. This is the house.

Is that...

Yes, that is Rex's mother.

I can't believe it.

It's like some hideous nightmare.

My life is over!

My life is over!

It appears there's a 7-year gap since your last position.

What, did you take some time off?

I was a stay-at-home mom.

I wish it had been time off.