Gilligan's Island

D-ooh!

Skipper, you scared me.

You didn't do me any good either.

Oh, I'm sorry, skipper. Let's go back to camp.

Gilligan, you are staying right here.

But it's scary right here.

Gilligan, there's nothing to be scared about,

unless you let that rescue fire go out.

If the fire goes out, what should I be scared of then?

Me!

Skipper, we light that fire every night,

and nobody ever sees it.

Yes, and gilligan, we're gonna keep this fire lit

until somebody does see it.

Okay, I'll stay.

That's much better now, gilligan.

Goodnight.

Goodnight, skipper. Sleep tight.

Well, thank you, little buddy. You, too...

that is, you stay awake...

oh, gilligan, start putting this wood on the fire.

Goodnight!

Wake up, young man.

I'm awake, skipper, I'm awake.

I have come to rescue you.

Aaaaaaah!

Skipper, we've been rescued.

Alright, gilligan, by whom are we being rescued,

Mary poppins or Moby dick?

No, no, skipper, by a Dr. Boris balinkoff.

Lives on the island nearby in a big...

I know, gilligan, and he's gonna rescue us all, right?

Right.

Thank you very much.

You are welcome.

Oh, are you the same doctor

who rescued that man in Africa?

Doctor, my wife is referring to Stanley and living stone.

Oh, no, no, madam.

I am Dr. Boris balinkoff.

But I can understand your confusion.

Oh, thurston, isn't that wonderful?

He understands my confusion.

Wonderful? It's positively staggering.

And now, I would like to meet the rest of the group,

take you safely to my island,

and then, to civilization.

Civilization, lovey.

Wall street and the Harvard club.

Oh, beauty parlors and steam baths.

My bank book.

My mother.

Lovey, why did you ruin everything?

That's for seeing our fire.

That's for coming to our rescue.

That's for taking us off the island.

What was that for?

That's for being a man.

Well, you see,

I only have a lifeboat from my yacht.

Overloading it would be most dangerous.

Yes, it would be foolhardy to risk our lives now.

Skipper, you and I could go to the island,

sail the yacht back.

Gilligan, why don't you stop making those dumb suggestions?

No, no, it is a brilliant suggestion.

It is? Of course.

You and the skipper return with the doctor

and sail the yacht back for the rest of us.

You see?

Yeah, well, nobody likes a show-off.

Shall we get started?

Come, young man.

At last, I have found 2 perfect specimens.

How could I have been so absent-minded?

I forgot that my crew took the yacht,

uh, for repairs.

I know the trouble you can have with a crew, doctor.

He means me. Sometimes I have accidents.

Well, it was because of you

that I discovered him.

Well, it was an accident.

Gentlemen, gentlemen,

I'm forgetting my duties as a host.

I must go and see that your 2-inch-thick steaks are ready.

Oh, doctor, how can we repay you

for all the things you're doing?

I will think of something.

Uh, make yourselves at home.

I will return shortly.

Make yourselves at home?

He must think we live in a haunted house.

Gilligan, don't tell me you're frightened.

What makes you think that?

Well...

Sorry, skipper.

Well, I've got to admit something to you, little buddy.

This place is beginning to give me the creeps, too.

It wouldn't be so bad if he didn't keep staring at us.

Gilligan, we're alone in here. Nobody's watching us.

Yeah? When I look at that picture,

it looks back at me.

What picture?

That picture.

Skipper...

Skipper, the eyes are different now.

Oh, gilligan, stop that.

Eh... eh... eyes are eyes,

and, well, those are both blue.

But before, they were bloodshot.

You're just getting all upset over nothing.

Skipper, you tell me one thing,

but my goose pimples tell me another.

Believe me, gilligan, the whole idea is to stop worrying.

Now, there's nothing to worry about, you understand?

You've got to stay cool, calm, ke...

keel, calm, and cool... cool, ca...

oh, I'm beginning to get a little upset about this place myself.

Yeah, and I'm getting out of here.

Skipper, am I getting close to what it is?

D-D-Don't put your hand too close.

He may bite it off.

Boris: Ooh!

I see you have met Igor.

We kind of bumped into each other.

I must admit his appearance is a bit awesome,

but he is as gentle as a little baby.

A baby what?

Come, enjoy the steaks.

Set yourself down.

I will go and pick your friends up.

Excuse me.

Oh, gilligan, aren't these steaks beautiful?

You better enjoy it. It might be your last meal.

Well, thanks a lot, little buddy.

That'll certainly help my appetite.

Hey, skipper, look. A dog.

Well, gilligan, I know a dog when I see one.

Hi, fella.

Skipper, I know we've been shipwrecked a long time,

but doesn't a dog go, "woof-woof"?

I... I... I think so, gilligan.

Nice kitty... uh, doggy. Ha ha ha!

You know, Mary Ann,

I'm beginning to get suspicious.

Suspicious of what?

Of a guy living on a lonely island in the pacific

all by himself.

Oh, ginger, we shouldn't criticize.

We should be grateful.

Hansel and gretel said the same thing

just before the witch slammed the oven door.

You know, he is a bit odd, perhaps,

but he is gonna save us.

Save us for what?

Skipper, are you sure?

Gilligan, yes, I'm sure.

A dog goes "bow wow,"

and a cat goes "meow meow."

Hey, you hear that? Huh?

A dog goes "bow wow."

You're not listening.

Hey, cat, cat.

Show them what you sound like. Go ahead.

Cat?

Hey, skipper! Guess what?

Be quiet, gilligan.

But, skipper, it's very, very important.

Look, gilligan, will you be still?

Now stand there and don't move.

Okay, skip...

skipper!

Alright, gilligan. What is it that's so im...

portant.

Gilligan, little buddy.

Gilligan!

Gilligan.

Have you seen my little buddy?

He was standing right over here in the corner.

I told him not to move, and now he's goooone!

Skipper, what kind of place is this?

I think this used to be the torture chamber.