Mr. Osomatsu (おそ松さん)

And now, what you've all been waiting for!

I wonder what's going to happen tonight.

The TV anime, Mr. Osomatsu!

Good evening, everyone!

Good evening!

It's time for the anime, Mr. Osomatsu!

Sheh, sheh, sheh, sheh!

Sheeeh!

You're all on point tonight.

Now, here's tonight's guest: Dayon-san.

I'm looking forward to it.

Thanks for being here.

All right, let's get things going! Roll the clip!

Sheeeh!

"Matsu Buns"

Meat buns! They're hot and delicious!

Hybrid Meat Buns Cards Accepted

Try one!

Oden's great, but you need to have meat buns once in a while.

But they're no ordinary meat buns...

I heard they sell, so I did a little collaboration.

Ta-da! Sextuplet buns!

What? No one's interested?

The heck? This isn't what I heard.

Guess they're not as popular anymore, idjits.

Nah, it's too early to give up. You've gotta take a look inside.

First, there's Oso-bun. Ta-da!

It's filled with beer. It tastes super weird.

Ichi-bun! Ta-da!

It's filled with poison. If you eat it, you'll die instantly.

Jyushi-bun! Ta-da!

The universe. Eat it, and you'll be baked instantly.

Kara-bun! Ta-da!

There's nothing inside.

Todo-bun! Ta-da!

It's also empty!

Choro!

Nothing!

Who in the hell...

is going to buy meat buns like these, you idjits?!

End

You shitty NEETs!

Mr. Osomatsu

"Tax Return"

What are you doing, Choromatsu-niisan?

I'm filing my taxes.

Huh?

What'cha doin'?

I told you, I'm filing my taxes.

All You Need to Do Your Taxes

You're filing your taxes?

You have to do them around this time of year.

We're unemployed NEETs, so we have to at least file our taxes.

It's embarrassing if you don't.

Filing your taxes...

What does that mean again?

You don't know?!

Yeah, I think I should know what it is, but I'm getting confused.

Honestly, you're so helpless.

When you file your taxes, you do something taxing, then file it.

Huh?

First, you do something taxing, and then you file it.

Huh?

I looked into it. There's a white form, a blue form,

Heisei Year 29 Green Form

and, in my case, I use this green form.

Man, things just don't seem to be adding up, though.

I just want to hurry up and file this.

We're adults now, so we have to do these properly.

I mean, we don't have jobs, so we should at least do this.

I'm so responsible. So great.

All right, I'm gonna go ahead and get these taxes filed.

I'm so responsible! So proper!

End

Mr. Osomatsu

"Karapino"

Karapino.

Once upon a time, at a certain toy store, there was a boy doll named Karapino.

Toy Store

Karapino was very proud of his nose, and he had a very unique feature.

Toy Store

And that was...

Oh, a doll.

How cute!

Whenever Karapino got too excited, his branch down below would grow.

End

Mr. Osomatsu

"Wallet"

What the...?

My wallet's missing!

It's gone! The wallet I put right here is gone!

What? I haven't seen it.

I had 30,000 in there from winning at pachinko yesterday!

What?!

30,000?!

That much?

One of you took it, didn't you?

Huh?

You took my wallet, didn't you?!

Who was it? Fess up!

Wait, calm down. No one took it.

Yes, you did!

We didn't.

You did!

And I'm telling you, we didn't.

You liar! I mean, if I found a wallet with 30,000 in it, I'd definitely take it!

Don't compare us to you, you dumbass!

That's enough. Just be honest and come forward.

I won't get mad.

Who took it?

Is that your ploy?

So you're all going to play dumb, and split the money later.

That's so cruel! I'm so disappointed in you guys!

If I'd taken it, I'd honestly say I did it!

You guys suck!

You guys aren't my brothers anymore!

Are you listening, you heartless bastards?! You scum!

This is exactly why no one gives you Valentine's chocolates! You idiots!

Morons! Die, you morons!

Morons!

Osomatsu!

What?!

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait...

What?!

It's in your back pocket.

Huh?!

It's in your back pocket...

Wha?

I had it all along!

And I said terrible things to those innocent bastards!

Oh, shit...

The hell are you doing?!

Well, if the tables were turned, I'd totally take the wallet!

I totally thought you guys took it!

Osomatsu, we're not like you.

You say that so calmly, but...

Osomatsu-niisan.

Here.

You can have this.

I didn't take your wallet, but I feel bad.

No, no, no! It's okay!

I can't take this.

Don't be shy.

Me, too.

Huh?

You can have my life savings.

No, really, it's okay! Give me a break!

You can sell part of my collection to a pawn shop.

Have mercy!

Please! It's okay!

You can sell my glove and bat, too.

Stop!

I can't take this! My heart hurts!

I'm gonna die! Have mercy!

Really, it's okay! I'm sorry!

I'm sorry! I'm sorry!

And you only had 500 yen instead of 30,000!

I'm sho shorry!

End

Mr. Osomatsu

"Pollen"

Man, I'm so bored.

This week should be mostly sunny.

Yeah...

Next, we have information regarding pollen.

How is the Japanese Cedar pollen this year?

The pollen this year

will be 8,000 times worse than last year.

8,000 times?!

Huh?!

It's coming in!

Why is it 8,000 times?! What the hell's going on, Earth?!

Hey! I can't see a thing!

Who are you?!

Who are you?

I wanna go home! Where's home?

Which way is it?

I'm home...

My nose won't stop running. Help me!

Crap! My brain's gonna fly out!

It actually did!

My eyes itch!

That's much better!

My nose itches!

That's much better!