Hard Rock Nightmare

Some call him Lucifer.

Some call him Satan.

I call him Master.

Creatures who live off human flesh do exist.

Creatures who drink blood and can become wolves are real.

Do you hear me?

I'm gonna tell you a secret.

I'm one of those creatures

and I eat little boys like you for dinner.

And on a full moon, I become a wolf.

Do you know what a werewolf is?

Do you know what a vampire is?

- Stop this! You're scaring the boy to death.

- It's okay. Kids like to be scared.

I'll slip in your house and drink your blood.

I'm a creature of the night.

- Sometimes you're a total asshole.

- And I'll come into your house and kill you

and the whole family.

I'm a vampire! (cackling)

I'm a vampire! - Stop it.

Don't kill me.

- I'll be back tonight, hee hee! (laughs)

Hey, Mildred.

I'm gonna lay down, take a nap.

Wake me up in time for lunch. (chuckles)

Little pussy.

Oh my god! Oh no!

No, what have you done?

He was only joking. (sobs)

What have you done? Oh no! (sobs)

Jim, are you all right?

- Yeah, yeah. I just fell asleep.

Hey, what time is it?

Time to rehearse. Come on.

- Paul, what would I do without you?

Be late a lot.

Oh, Sammy's girlfriend's coming to watch us rehearse.

It's tough being The Bad Boys.

- (laughs) An up-and-coming rock star's job is never done.

Let's go.

Oh, now Paul, fix that sound on the new song.

Hey, the next guy

that calls me that is dead meat, man.

- Gonna be ready for the concert?

Yeah.

* Started when I got my first guitar *

* At the age of 10

* I can hardly play but when I strum that thing *

* I got the right

* All I could see was my name in lights *

* All I could do was dream

* Now I see what my mama said to me *

* Son, you know, it's hard to win *

* It's a nightmare, it's a nightmare *

* Soon I know it's got me

* Well, it's a nightmare, a scary nightmare *

* Gotta work real hard

* So I can show my stuff and blow them away *

* I used to move my parent's house around *

* So the band could rehearse

* Dad would split to his workshop *

* And mom would quench our thirst *

* On Saturday it was pack our gear *

* Head out for the gig

* Playing the National Guard Armory *

* It really wasn't that big

* Yeah, it's a nightmare

* Yeah, it's a nightmare

* Yeah, soon I know it's got me *

* It's a nightmare

* A hard rock nightmare

* Mom and Dad, I know you don't understand *

* But I've gotta go

* I've gotta make myself a man

* I can't get away, I gotta shine *

* I got a hard rock nightmare in my mind *

* It's a nightmare, a hard rock nightmare *

* It's a nightmare

* It's a nightmare

* It's a nightmare, yeah

- Is there a problem, Officers?

- I'm not dressed to go to jail.

- That's it, the noise has gotta stop.

Oh, come on, officer.

All we're doing is rehearsing our tunes.

- This is the third complaint this week.

One more time and you're busted.

But, Officer, we're a band.

We need to rehearse.

- Not in this neighborhood, you don't.

This is your last warning.

- Dude, like, what are we gonna do?

I mean, we're never gonna be ready for the concert.

- We're gonna have to find another place.

- Where? - I don't know.

How about your house?

What a fab idea.

But my mother would never go for it.

- Dudes, We could rehearse in my van.

- This is a serious, what are we gonna do?

Guys, I have an idea.

All right, Paul, is everybody here?

I think so.

Uh, I thought just the band was going, though.

- The band, Tim, and a couple of hot babes.

Don't worry about it.

I'm not, Charlie.

I mean, I just want this to be a fabulous, groovy weekend.

- Paul, people don't say groovy anymore, man.

- Jim, do you know what you're doing?

- Uncle Gary, it's been over 10 years.

My friends and I need a place to relax and practice

where we can make as much noise as possible.

And Grandma would've loved the idea.

- I wonder what your grandmother would've thought

if she knew that you were turning the farm she left you

into a home for wayward rock stars.

- My favorite group's The Partridge Family.

- Shut up, Dirk. - Oh, sorry, Mr. Armstrong.

Hey Sammy, man,

you sure you'll be able to find this place?

- Dude, don't even worry about it.

Connie and I are like gnarliest to read these maps.

Great, listen, do me a favor,

and help me get some of this stuff in there.

All right.

So, who are you?

I'm Tina. Sally's friend.

Hi, I'm John.

- I'm coming up this week to help you guys out.

Great.

You know, I play the drums.

Yeah, I know.

- You know, if there's anything I could do for you...

- You know, there is. - Yeah?

- Could you tell me everything you know about Charlie?

You feeling all right?

Any nightmares lately?

I'm fine.

Dirk, wait for me in the limo.

The limo?

- The long black car we came in, remember?

Yes. I'm sorry, the limo.

Right away, sir.

I wanted to talk to you alone.

Go ahead.

- Jim, you're my only living relative

and I kind of feel responsible for you.

- Yeah, I know. What's your point?

- Well, if for any reason, how do I say this?

If for any reason you don't feel well...

I'm fine.

Come on, Jim. We gotta go.

Uncle Gary. I've gotta go.

Thanks for letting us use your motor home.

- Yeah, really, thanks a lot.

It's really nice of you.

We'll see you in a couple days.

- Jim, are you sure you're up to this?

That was a long time ago.

If there are any problems,

there's Ranger Baxter, he'll take care of you.

Yeah, don't worry. See ya.

- Why does your uncle always worry so much?

- He means well. - I guess.

Come on. Let's get out of here.

All right, Sammy, you drive.

Boom, we are at it.

* Need a little time

* It's all up in darkness

So, we all wear mop top wigs

just like the Beatles used to.

We don't have to wear wigs.

Nah, band needs a gimmick.

Why?

- So we can get attention.

- Why don't we just try playing good music?

- (sighs) Am I the only one with imagination in this band?

- Of course not. You forget, my friend.

I'm the one who came up with the band's name?

The Bad Boys.

- Yeah, sounds like a gay porno movie.

(chuckles) Excuse me, guys.

But, who is the blonde with John?

Huh, you should know.

Your girlfriend invited her.

- Sally did? - Yeah.

She's supposed to come along, I don't know,

help cook or something. - She cooks?

- If you ask me, she's just a groupie.

Well, no one asked.

- Hey, if Sally invited her, she must be okay.

I think she's trying

to get your attention, Charlie.