The Prisoner of Shark Island

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- -

- Give us a speech! - Speech! Speech!

- - My friends...

you want a speech, but...

I cannot make one at this time.

I must have opportunity to think.

Undue importance might be given to what I said.

However, there is one thing I will do.

You have a band with you.

There's one piece of music I've always liked.

Heretofore, it hasn't seemed the proper thing to use it in the North...

but now...

by virtue of my prerogative as president...

and, uh, commander-in-chief of the army and navy...

I declare it contraband of war...

and our lawful prize.

I ask the band to play "Dixie."

Your daughter craves affection.

Now I ain't got no fortune, but I'm just a-bubblin' over with affection...

and ready to pour it all over her...

like applesauce over roast pork.

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Mr. Fletcher, I see that you have not the good manners of society...

and for that reason alone, I forgive the impertinence of which you are guilty.

I don't know the manners of society?

Just a minute here.

I think I know enough to turn you inside out, old gal...

you sockdolaging old mantrap!

See, I had her that time.!

I expect I'm liable to call myself some awfully bad names.

You know, friends?

$400,000 is a big heaped-up pile of money...

- to light a man's cigar with. -

Sic semper tyrannis.!

Mr. Lincoln has been shot.

Oh! I can't make it.

The bone is ramming through the skin.

But we... we've got to get across the Potomac, sir.

We won't be safe till we're in Virginia.

I can't do it.

Hey, you! Inside that cabin there!

Come here, boy!

Yes, sir, Captain!

- Do you know if any doctor lives around here? - Doctor?

Yes, sir! I knows one.

Dr. Mudd. Dr. Sam Mudd.

He lives just around that bend.

- Can I help you, boss? - No. No. Get out.

Get out! Come on.

- Sam. Sam! - Huh?

- - There's somebody at the door.

Oh, it's the stork, lookin' for Aunt Rosabelle's cabin.

I've been waitin' for him.

If the stork hasn't learned his way to Aunt Rosabelle's after 11 visits...

he never will learn.

Eleven? That's right.

Don't you and Martha have breakfast till I get back. I want to eat with you.

Plenty of batter-cakes, too, 'cause I'm gonna be hungry.

- And keep it turned up, too, 'cause it's raining out. - Yeah.

Dr. Mudd?

- Yes? - His... His leg's broken.

Can you... Can you do something for him?

Yes.

- Let's get him inside. -

I'm sorry here to have to cut your boot.

I'm sorry. I know it hurts.

Hurry, please. Hurry. I've got to be going.

Oh, no. Not on that leg.

You've got a bad transverse fracture there.

You... You'll be lucky if you're on that in a week.

- Uh, just fix it the best you can. - Hurry.

Let me see. I haven't got any regular splints here.

But take it easy now.

Coming down from Washington?

No, from, uh... uh, Baltimore.

Oh.

I'd certainly like to have been at the White House last Sunday...

when old Abe asked the band to play "Dixie."

I guess old Abe's all right after all.

Looks to me like he's the only salvation we Southerners can look for...

him and... and God's mercy.

I never thought anybody but doctors had to be out at this hour of the night.

His mother's dyin'... over in Virginia.

- Oh, I'm so sorry, sir. - Where's that, uh... that knife?

Oh. Thank you. Now I'm gonna...

Oh, dear, get some brandy, will you?

Now I'm gonna set this leg.

First I want to give you a good stiff drink of brandy.

Think you can stand it?

Thank you.

Now, it'll only take a second or two.

Now, easy now. Easy now.

- - There.

There.

You know, I think it's downright foolish trying to travel on a leg like that.

- Look, I could put you up in a spare room. - How much do I owe you?

Oh, I don't know. Two... Two dollars will cover it.

Thank you. Oh, say, look. Wait a minute.

I want to give you a prescription.

Now, this is gonna help to ease that pain.

It's a sedative.

I want you to get it filled now as soon as you can.

Thank you, Doctor. You've done me a great service.

I'm sorry if I seemed rude or abrupt.

Well, things like that can't matter to doctors.

- His door's gotta be open day and night. - Good night, sir.

Say, I do wish you'd change your...

Good night.

Queer sort of...

sort of snake, wasn't he?

- How much? - Huh?

How much?

Good heavens! Fifty dollars!

Fifty? Oh, Sam, there must be some mistake.

Shall I call him back or... or lock the door?

Lock it! Lock it, and bar it too!

Huh.

And to think I called him a snake.

As a matter of fact, he's probably a very kindly old philanthropist...

just lookin' around for deserving families like us.

At 5:00 in the morning? Of course.

Well, philanthropists don't care what time it is.

Say, you know what he probably thought?

He probably said to himself, "Here's a pretty good couple."

"Of course, he don't amount to much. Just a country doctor.

- "But his wife..." - Crazy!

"Poor little thing. Pretty as a picture too.

"Tied up to that country pill peddler...

"stuck way down here in the piney woods.

Probably just as unhappy as she can be, so I'll just give him $50."

- Oh, he thought no such thing. - All right.

What do you think he thought?

He probably said to himself, "Well, my goodness."

"Here's the luckiest woman I've ever seen.

- She's got the sweetest child in the whole world"... - Oh, wait a minute.

- How'd he know that? - Philanthropists know everything.

"And as for her husband...

"no matter how far out in the country he may live...

"he set my leg better than any New York specialist could do it...

so I'll just make this his lucky day and pay him $50."

Oh, yeah?

Well, if that's what he aimed to do... give us a lucky day...

he certainly knew how to start it right.

Well, it was nice while we had it.

She's ready for you now. She sure is ready for you now.

Ah, the stork, huh? It's here!

Marse Sam, Aunt Rosabelle ain't gonna have no stork, is she?

Whoa!

Whoa.

- You, come here.! - Who?

You're the man said his buggy was stolen last night?

Yes, horse and buggy. Took it right out of my barn.

- Which way'd the tracks go? - They turned off up thataway.

- They must have come from that way. - We're on the right track.

- Who lives up that road? - Dr. Mudd. Samuel A. Mudd.

- Should we try him? - Sure. We'll try everybody.

It's dead certain he got help from somebody in this neighborhood.

- What about him? - Arrest him! Take him down to Washington.

But I tell you, it was not a question of slavery and never was!

This is a question of states' rights.

The Constitution of the United States laid down certain fundamental truths...

igad!

And one of them was that the individual state had a right to secede...

at any time it so chose.

But what happened? Did...

- What in thunder's that? - That's just hominy grits.

Eh, hominy grits. Flies all over everything.

- Where's your ma? - She hasn't got up yet.

- Well, where's your pa? - He's out.

What? Who's sick now?

- Aunt Rosabelle, I think. - What? What ails Rosabelle?

Huh? Oh.

Say, honey.

- W-Would you mind leaving the room for a minute? - Why?

Because your grandpa says so!

Ha, ha, ha.

- "Ha, ha" you! Now run along. - Shoo, shoo.

- Yes, "shoo, shoo" to you. - Shoo, shoo.

Get... Get out of here!

Well, what-what... what about Rosabelle?

Rosabelle's gonna have a baby.

Eh, uh...

Igad, how many is that?

- She say 12. - Twelve! Eh...