Shameless

You don't know what happened last week?

Well, I don't have time to tell you.

I'm busy.

Oh!

What's your dad gonna do when he gets out of jail

and I tell him you spend all day with orange boy

rubbing your dicks together?

$500 tomorrow, or I call him.

The day my babies are born,

you steal cash from the register?

Yeah, your register, my cash.

Empty your fucking pockets.

He's a fucking dead man.

Well, hello.

Roger Running Tree and I broke up.

But the children, Frank.

Roger and I... we were gonna get married and adopt them

before he showed his true colors.

All I need is a marriage certificate.

Frank, will you marry me?

It is my honor to declare you man and wife.

You may kiss the groom.

He's in serious condition,

so they moved him up the waiting list.

What does that mean?

He's getting a liver.

Need you to meet my mom and dad for parents' weekend.

Pretend we're together.

Just clean up for a dinner?

No, no cleanup.

I need to scare the living shit out of them.

Those your brothers and sisters?

Four of them, three more in the van.

My family lives in there.

In the supermarket?

No, in the van.

Oh.

Hey, Matthew.

What does she have that I don't?

Hello?

You don't know who you messed with, skank.

I don't give a shit if you're ten years old

and playing with dolls.

You want a war, you got it.

Fiona never came home.

She violated probation.

Hi, Lip. I'm sorry.

I fucked up.

You're juggling so many things,

and I am just fucking up.

I need some help now.

So you want to go first?

Where are we going?

Looks like Decatur Correctional.

How far away is that?

Three hours or so.

What?

Hope you peed.

What'd they nab you for?

Huh?

Why you on this bus?

It ain't a sightseeing tour.

I, uh...

I broke probation.

I stabbed my boyfriend's wife in the stomach a little bit.

Bitch claimed she was pregnant.

Knew she was full of shit

and was saying it to hold on to him.

Had to prove her wrong, right?

Turns out she wasn't lying.

Oops.

Hey, pops.

How you feeling?

You are looking better today.

Say hi to your grandpa, Chuckie.

- Can he hear us? - Of course he can.

That's the only way he's gonna wake-up.

When we tell him how we feel,

it seeps into his subconscious,

it tickles his brain,

and it'll make him open his eyes soon, okay?

- Come on. - Okay.

Hi, grandpa.

Mama says we can go to Ruby Tuesday's

when you wake-up.

Hi.

Good morning.

I'm Emily.

I need a new heart.

Oh, I'm so sorry.

What's wrong with yours?

Hey, don't be rude.

Oh, my God.

Don't you "Oh, my God" me, mister.

This is my son, Chuckie.

I'm Sammi.

I'm Wendy, her mom.

She, uh... she has cardiomyopathy.

My heart muscle doesn't pump enough blood

into the rest of my body.

Is that why you look like a vampire?

Hey, Charles Nevins Slott, you stop that right now.

Apologize.

I'm sorry.

We are so sorry.

- Oh, God. - It's okay.

It's okay.

Is Mr. Gallagher your father?

Sure is.

I don't have a father.

- Emily. - He left when I got sick.

Mama says that men can't handle tragedy, so they leave.

Not everybody needs to hear our dirty laundry, Emily.

No, don't worry about us.

We have the dirtiest laundry in Chicago.

Is Mr. Gallagher waiting for a heart too?

He was waiting for a liver,

and then he had a transplant the other day,

and now he is getting all better.

That's fantastic news.

See, Emily? We're in the right place.

Mickey your boyfriend?

We hang out.

He's in your bed.

Yeah, his family is a nightmare.

Think I got a girlfriend.

Oh, yeah?

Yeah, her family's a nightmare too.

Whose isn't?

You love Mickey?

I like how he smells.

What you asking stupid fucking questions for?

You were nicer when you were asleep.

Frank survived his liver transplant,

in case you were wondering.

Nope. Wasn't.

I got to go over to the church for the christening today.

Thought you didn't care.

- I don't. - Why are you going, then?

It's my son, man.

All right, I'll get dressed.

No, no, look, it's fine.

I'll head over by myself.

I'll be back in a couple hours.

What, you don't want me to go?

Probably best if you don't, tough guy.

Yeah, for you, maybe.

Why you busting my balls, man?

Just wondering if we're a couple or not.

Of course we are.

A couple that hides?

Hey, it's working out so far, so good.

Getting kind of sick of it.

Jesus Christ, man.

How about you let me go deal with that stupid shit

before I deal with your stupid shit?

Hey.

How was work, dear?

I got, uh, matching war wounds.

Ouch.

What are you doing?

Looking up your quarter grades.

They haven't posted yet.

All right, good. I don't want to know.

I'm too stressed to deal right now.

The way I see it, you need a B average

to keep your scholarship.

And I don't want to talk about it either.

I bet you'll get a B in Macro and Philosophy

and an A in Thermo and English.

What do I have to do to get you to shut up?

Well, maybe if I had something else

to occupy my mouth.

That's a much better idea.

All right.

- Wait. Don't. - Why?

Levels the playing field.

I'm on my knees. You're wearing a hairnet.

You're a freak.

Takes one to know one.

Oh, hey, look, um, I'm not gonna be able

to have dinner with your parents tonight, okay?

No, you could keep doing what you were doing

while we're talki... Ow, fuck!

Why won't you be able to go, hmm?

You said you would go. You're... you're going.

No, look, I-I got to... I got to go home.

I got to figure shit out,