Survival Island

Many moons ago,

isolated in the remote mountains of Central America,

a small village named Mangaño once thrived.

A primitive tribe of people,

they lived in harmony with nature for many generations,

but now a time of reckoning was upon the all.

Working in the simple mud and grass hut of his father

and his grandfather before him,

using the skills that were passed down through blood,

the village piñata maker, Hunumah,

began the most important creation in the history

of his village.

For a mysterious drought had claimed the once fertile land,

and the scorching sun was becoming relentless.

Using the precious few droplets of water to shape the clay,

his creation began to take form.

As food was becoming scarce,

the families prayed that the evil would be driven out

and famine would not consume the land.

The long, hot days melted into cold, dark nights,

and the nights blurred into day

as Hanumah combined elements of human and animal form.

An unknown petulance began to spread through the tribe,

and the shaman, the village holy man named Antoop,

pleaded with the angry spirits to release

their deadly grip on his people.

Their time was running out,

but the ancient craft could not be rushed,

as the mystical design of the piñatas had to be precise.

But the vengeful wrath of the spirits continued,

and the once-thriving valley was now being consumed

by misery and despair.

Surrounded by the cries of suffering,

Hanumah sculpted one hand with the power of the bear.

The laid pieces were joined,

and Hanumah prepared the piñatas for firing.

Sacrificing a wild pig, the shaman carefully removed

the freshly harvested heart.

The heart would be the central force

inside the piñata.

It would draw the evil through the clay.

From the tribe's holiest shrine,

Antoop removed one of the sacred stones

and focused its spiritual energy.

For once inside the head of the piñata,

the stone's power would activate the sorcery

to seal away the evil forever.

The time had come to make the pilgrimage

to the sacred site,

and Antoop led his people on the difficult

many day journey.

Hanumah added the final symbolic markings

to the piñatas.

The ceremony was now ready to begin.

At the sacred river, Antoop inhaled from the pipe

of his forefathers, linking him with the spiritual world.

He summoned the forces of nature

and cried out to the gods.

One by one he called his people forward.

The shaman believed the curse was a punishment

from the angry spirits for the sins

in the villager's hearts,

the dark side that is a part of us all,

and he began the ritual to cleanse their soul.

Touching the good fortune piñata,

the villagers would complete the circle of energy.

The transfer was now final,

and the evil force was trapped inside

the clay cavity of the piñata.

Silent prayers were uttered as Antoop carefully set

the grotesque piñata afloat.

The steady current of the holy river

would carry away the evil.

The ceremony continued with the cracking

of the good fortune piñata.

As the sin-filled piñata floated away,

the forces of nature continued to build.

Antoop's task was now complete with

the final bolt of energy.

As long as the piñata lay undisturbed,

the evil would remain locked inside

by the magically-charged clay.

But should the sinful force be awakened,

an unholy terror would be unleashed upon mankind,

a terror with a craving for the eternal power

of innocent souls, bringing death and destruction

to all in its path.

Woo!

Yeah!

- So there I am riding the waves with the love of your life,

wondering why the hell you're like in the other boat,

when I find out Romeo and Juliet aren't together anymore.

So what's going on, man?

We broke up.

No shit. What happened?

Nothin'.

Just time to move on.

Oh.

You cheated.

She cheated?

Doug, just let it go.

All right, all right.

If that's the way you want it.

That's the way I want it.

Mmm.

So can a brother get down?

Good luck.

So, have you talked to him yet?

- He's already made up his mind, so whatever.

All right, you guys made it!

- Welcome to the 12th annual Cinco de Mayo scavenger hunt!

I'm Paul, a Beta Chi Omega alum.

Beta Chi! Woo!

- All right! - Woo-woo!

I'm one of the judges.

And this is the other judge.

Ooh, baby. Yeah!

- Hi, I'm Monica, alum from Kappa Beta Chi.

They'll fuck any guy.

Just give 'em a try.

- All right, I am here to prove to you guys

that you're gonna have a blast,

but first we have to set up camp.

- Which is about a 10-minute trek from here.

- Excuse me, is there like a bathroom nearby?

There's a portable at the camp.

A port-a-potty. You're kidding me?

Oh, girl, what did you expect?

- The girls at the house said that there were

full camping facilities with showers and toi-

Yo, go back to model town, girl.

Bite me!

- Uh-uh-uh-uh, there will be no sexual activity

on this island unless I am directly involved.

So with that in mind, you have an hour to get settled,

and then the hunt begins.

Okay, let's do it!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Drink!

Yeah!

Ooh!

All right, you're all initiated.

Now, here's the deal, here's the deal.

Scattered around the island are over 2500 pairs

of men's and women's underwear,

donated by all the houses.

- The couple with the most underwear by dinner

wins $20,000, half to be donated to charity,

and the other half to the winning fraternity

and sorority for house improvements.