Chinese Erotic Ghost Story (Yuk lui liu chai) (玉女聊齋)

Brother, buy me a drink

cheers!

Please, sir

Tonight is yours

no, you first

Brother, here comes an easy prey!

He has a sword

Has he I've got a sabre too

What will you have, sir

Just make a few dishes for me

Any inn in this vicinity, please

not in our isolated place

Haunted houses, maybe

Waiter, wine

Good

please, sir

now it depends on you. Take care

Master, after a hard journey,

come here and sit down

What are you doing

Master, you're handsome,

you must be romantic

come drink with me, come over

I can't drink, I can't

Bastard, molesting my wife

Your wife I didn't

I saw it. Don't deny!

Darling, he assaulted me

Darling, he touched me

Sex fiend, you!

Brothers, beat him!

Don't try anything foolish!

It's female

So you enjoy posing as a man

Let my brother show you...

how to be a real man

What do you want Let me go!

Brother, rape her!

Rape her!

Well, by popular request, I'll do it

Move her up the table

Rape her!

Help!

Rape her!

Let me go!

Help, help!

Put it on

I thought you'd leave me behind

I told you not to follow me

You won't be happy to be with me

Our marriage was one arranged before our birth

My dad fixed it. Marry my dad then

You're forsaking me! Let me die!

Are you out of your mind

Only because you're forsaking me

Well, follow me, if you please

That's better

Let's go

Yes

Go in

Help, help!

Keep away, lousy dog, sick dog!

Keep away!

Please drive away that dog for me

Thank you

Go now

Keep away!

Thank you

Who are you

put me near an oil lamp, quick!

Otherwise, I'm finished. Come on, quick!

Thank you

Hurry up

Excuse me, please

Help me, Buddha!

A demon!

Don't misunderstand me, sir

I'm not a demon, I'm a monk

You're a monk

Buddha be praised! You must be devout

Forget minor rites. Don't be stubborn

One muse live and let live

Have food, have fun and go freely

The rest are of no consequence

What's your priestly name, please

How come you're now big and now small

I am the Reverend Wick

a monk since childhood, to guard Wick Tower

Facing the lamp day and night is boring

I have no one to chat with

I pour out my feelings to the lamps only

Real or imagined,

the wick said to me one day

He taught me the incantation that shrinks me

But I might get burnt to death

if the lamp burns out before I change back

Thank you

May I ask your names, please

I'm chu chung, and he's Liu...

Hsia-hui

Greeting, Mr chu, Mr Liu

Don't stand on ceremony

call us by name

You keep him company

while I go in to change

Mr Liu has a sense of humor Let's go in to chat

Good

please

Sit down

priest, what you told us just now...

They say life's a wick It's gone, once burnt out

compared with the centuries-old universe

life's a speck only, right

Forget it now

When you reach my age, you'll understand

priest, are you all right

chu, when were you born

The 9th day, 5th moon, year of the Rat

5, year of the Rat

lmmediately before noon

How do you know

Great, congratulations!

Yours is maximum masculinity and strength, very rare

What did you say

You won't understand no matter how I put it

In a word, you're extraordinary

We're like good friends

I've got good wine

Let me get it for all of us

Don't run around. Wait for me

An exceptional man

You bloody monk!

Sex is nothingness and nothingness is sex

Why are you here

Mr Liu, no...

Miss Liu, so you're a lady

You scoundrel, you peeped at my bathing!

O, I didn't see anything

How do you know...

I'm a lady then

Miss Liu, don't blame me

First, I didn't know you were taking a bath

Second, I didn't know you were female

creep, you're unworthy as a monk,

you're obscene!

Enough, even a Buddha may flare up!

Udity doesn't count for much

Every creature is naked at birth

Have you seen a chicken or duck dressed

Buddha be praised!

The tree of spiritual awakening is no tree, nor is the mirror a substance

Nothingness won't get contaminated

I'm in no mood for your sutras I've already suffered

You're a creep, a real creep!

Miss Liu, if you deem that as a loss

come and feel me, knead me any way you like

come on

Scare me

chu

priest

I told you not to move around

priest,

that fairy in the portrait is smiling at me

chu, no ideas,

no illusions

Undesirable ideas breed illusions

What I saw didn't look like illusion

Men belong to earth; spirits belong to hell

The combination of the two is a bad omen

chu, you'd better forget what you've seen

priest,

you mean what I saw is real

priest, how can I ever see her again

Do me a favor, please

o, it's dangerous

I'm a wanderer with no worries; I'm not afraid

It could be fatal!

I'd die without regrets if I could see her once

Evil!

I'll help you so as not to go against Heaven's will

But you must promise me one thing

You must come back within 24 hours

Well, I promise

Don't take this as a precedent

If you hasn't returned when this incense burns out

you'll drift in the Void...

without ever getting back

Turn this holy wheel

Read this passage of sutras

and you can move freely

And when coming upon any danger

throw out the wheel and you'll be safe

Remember

Thank you

Use the master's gold body to turn the wheel

to enter the lifeless tunnel

Buddha be praised!

Hands off!

Don't do it, it's damned!

Let go!