Lupin the 3rd (ルパン三世)

Ugh.

‐Pull. ‐(gunfire)

Another.

‐Pull. ‐(gunfire)

Wha?

‐Pull. ‐(gunfire)

‐Pull. ‐(gunfire)

‐Pull. ‐(gunfire)

Fujiko, I know I'm an old man but...

Take a hike, gramps.

Fujiko, I love you, will you marry me?

You're trying to muscle in on my woman.

She's too young for you, she's too beautiful.

Stay away from her.

You young punk!

"Hey guys, I don't know if you've heard about this or not,

but the Sirloin is the first of an entirely new class

of super luxury liner.

It's absolutely incredible.

It makes the Queen Mary look like the Minnow.

Anyway, she's leaving for Lisbon on the third

for her maiden around the world voyage,

and since it sounded like a great excuse for a reunion,

I took the liberty of booking passage for all of us.

So, don't send regrets, just be there.

Lupin."

The Sirloin is the most

spectacular passenger ship ever built.

At a cost of one billion dollars,

it took five years to complete.

It weighs 250,000 tons.

It's 1,500 feet long and 200 feet wide,

has 130 passenger cabins and can cruise up to‐‐

Gourmet restaurant, multiplex theaters,

pool, cocktail lounges,

ski jump, football field,

racetrack, state of the art security.

This ain't no boat,

it's friggin' Las Vegas with seagulls.

And I say let the good times roll on.

I hope everyone is having a great time today.

Now we're gonna be playing some of your favorite songs‐‐

Ha, I thought I'd find you listening to elevator music.

It's five years later, Goemon,

and you're still listening to that crap.

Yes, and five years later

you still haven't quit smoking, have you, Jigen?

Perhaps you need a little assistance?

Here, let me help you.

Hmm?

Tiffany cigarette holder, nice.

I'm guessing some rich old fart lost track of it

while you were holding his other cigarette.

It's nice to see your wit

hasn't lost any of its dull edge in five years, Jigen.

Looks like Lupin's lost a step, though.

Used to be you could set your watch by the guy.

Truth is it used to really cheese me off‐‐

‐(screaming) ‐What the?

Someone's committing suicide!

Nah, the airplane's too low, just check out the attitude,

someone's gonna make a grand entrance.

Whaaa!

Whaa hoo hoo hoo!

Oh, crap!

To our reunion.

Kanpai.

‐Cheers. ‐Here's mud in your eye.

Sorry to be late, I had a minor matter to attend to.

Tell me about it, I'm guessing you probably

had to lift a Van Gogh or even two

to pay for all of our tickets.

‐Huh? ‐Hey, whatever.

Any guy who's willing to shell out this kind of scratch

just to treat his old friends to a good time

is aces with me.

Hey, wait a minute, what do you mean,

whoa, back up, what do you mean, treat you?

Uh...

Huh?

Well, I hate to break it to you guys,

but I got one, too.

"My darling Lupin,

you've been in my dreams every night for five long years.

Oh, darling, I can't bear being apart from you any longer.

I simply have to see you immediately.

Rendezvous with me on the Sirloin on October 3rd

and I promise I'll make both our dreams come true."

Oh please, this doesn't sound anything like me.

Or smell like you.

What's that?

Not even a trace of Chanel No. 5.

Trust me, I nearly sucked the entire thing up my nose.

So this is just a steaming pile of‐‐

Very bad karma.

Exactly, my friends, we've all fallen into someone's

very ingenious trap.

Not you though, you figured it out for a trap, Lupin,

and you waltzed right into it anyway.

What the hell's up with that?

I don't know about you, Jigen,

but I like to know who my enemies are.

The sooner he shows his hand

the sooner I can show him mine.

We must remain as vigilant as the owl.

Exactly.

Ah‐ha!

I've got you cornered at last!

Zenigata, at last!

Oh, Pops, it's been so long, let me kiss you all over.

Mwa mwa mwa.

Oh, that aftershave drives me wild.

Hey, I heard you were transferred

to some Podunk crap hole

after the last time I slipped through your fingers.

Pretty slow in the sticks

for a fine investigative mind like yours,

but I'm sure you didn't let the tedium get to you.

Hmm.

Yeah, well, these are your transfer papers, wise guy,

straight to maximum security!

Read it and weep!

Let me see this.

"Inspector Zenigata, we've received intelligence

that Lupin The Third will be on board

for the maiden voyage of the Sirloin.

Given your knowledge of the fugitive,

you're assigned as the ship's

temporary interim investigating officer.

You are to watch for this known felon

and arrest him if you spot him."

Temporary interim investigating officer?

Wow, that's pretty impressive.

Do you get a shiny badge and everything?

It's not necessary, my friend.

With this arrest warrant,

all I need are these little handcuffs, you see?

Now, come along!

Hey, hold on now, are you really Lupin?

That's what my momma calls me.

Oh yeah, so why'd you surrender so easily then, smart guy?

I'm just humoring you.

You don't have any authority to arrest me on this ship,

Inspector Zenigata.

Are you blind, I have a warrant right here!

I know, and it's a lovely one, too,

except for one little thing.

There's no watermark and as you know,

without a watermark, it's not considered legal

in a court of law.

Huh, it's a forgery?

How in the world could that have happened?

Well, what do you know?

It looks like Pops here has been lured

into the same exact trap as the rest of us.

Oh, damn it, I was so close!

Why does this always happen to me?

It's not fair, I tell you, it's just not fair!

Hey, take it easy, Pops.

There's not much any of us can do right now

but hang around and wait.

Sit down, have a drink, take a load off.

Why should I, huh?

‐Because you have no choice. ‐(knuckles cracking)

Grrr!

Let's shake on it.

You are not‐‐ shake with you on what?

Our temporary interim alliance agreement.

Here's the deal, listen up.

Right now, we join forces to defeat our mutual enemy

and then after that, I'm all yours.

What do you say?

Pops, do we partner up or not?

Hmm, well, all right, but how the heck

do we smoke out these bad guys?

By just sitting back, enjoying the cruise,

and playing dumb.

Sooner or later, they're bound to make their move